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More from Bartan
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You can find the novel on:
FurAffinity (rtf file) - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/13970164/
SoFurry (No download required, some formatting) - https://www.sofurry.com/view/731805
Weasyl (pdf download, best read) - https://www.weasyl.com/~bartan/subm.....urface-tension
Inkbunny (rtf file + some story, little formatting) - https://inkbunny.net/s/1449833
*Note: There is no sexual content in this novel series. If you came here for that, sorry. Not this time around.
"What did I just click on?"
This is a "Novel Card", something I'm trying out to promote my older works. Think of it as a flyer or a reminder that this story exists in the mass flood that is content. This one is for:
****
Hollow Bodies - Finally, a story not about dragons... But it does consist of one >>; This story is honestly like a 'Final Fantasy' adventure, and one that you can just jump right into without any prior knowledge of anything. The humor is... Subjective, I admit that. I'm not exactly a person you would describe as 'funny', but I did try to add a lot more light-hearted moments into this series. The same kind of goes with the fourth-wall breaks as well: you may like it, you may not. It was just an idea I had and something I wanted to play around with at the time.
...Seriously, this is like the third story I wrote in my career. It's quite old. >>;;
Anyway, you'll probably like this novel if you enjoy:
+Adventure
+4th Wall humor
+Good-hearted protagonist
+No-yiff/sex stories, but with a little bit of adult content here and there.
+"Cartoon" silliness (you'll see what I mean maybe 1/4th in the first act)
+Action
+Medieval Fantasy Worlds
+Mystery, borderline horror
+War
+Violence/Conflict
If you're interested, go at it. Bookmark it for later, download it, whatever. I just hope you enjoy this
For FA, I'll give you the first chapter as a sample here. If you're interested, follow the links above
~~~~~~
Hollow Bodies - Surface Tension
By Bartan Tirix
Chapter 1
The Cave was cool and damp, which was expected, as the cloaked Gnoll cautiously made his way in. His nocturnal vision was slowly making out the old trail that hadn't been used in centuries. As the bright yellow eyes scanned the walls of the cave, it spotted a few dart traps that barely seemed to be sticking out of the wall. A little bit more study of the soft stone floor, he could see the few triggers for such things, and carefully made his way around them.
A bit deeper into the cave, the soft echos of squeaks could be heard. The faint sounds made the Gnoll shutter and the back of his mane raise a bit. He never liked bats... Actually, next to no rodents to begin with. Let alone anything that could fly. Further in, he could make out the hundreds of creatures hanging from the celing. A loud swallow from his throat faintly traveled though the large room, as the Gnoll gathered the courage to press forward. Step by step, he fought his instincts to just bolt for the other side. And step by step, he almost waited for that one small branch, or puddle that would startled the swam above his head. Because, that's just like his luck.
But to his surprise, he made it to the other side. Taking a deep breath, he began to push further down the cave. He wasn't safe yet. And after he got what he came for, he would have to travel through that room again. Once again, the Gnoll shuttered at the thought of them, but it would all be worth it.
Slowly the cave began to change into the faint ruins of an old temple. The carvings on the floor and walls made it incresingly difficult to tell if they were armed. As he slowly scanned the walls and floors, he seen nothing that would be lethal. Another deep breath of relief, and he stepped forward... Only to step on a pressure plate and cause the enterance he came through to be walled off completely. The Gnoll grunted and tried pressing on the wall a bit, but it wouldn't budge. He would have to find another way out afterword. First, he needed his bounty.
Through the old temple, the air was very thin. The faint mix of moss and decay filled it, as he slowly made his way down the halls. A few more dart traps could be seen, along with the occassional spike pit. A few of them already triggered by a previous adventurer whom met their end. Though the Gnoll felt sorry for their souls, such is the concequence in grave robbing: You might just fall into your own while taking from another.
The Gnoll came into a very large room made of several cubic blocks. Between them, there were deep grooves that were placed there on purpose. Almost making a large checkered board pattern. Another step forward, and a large pressure plate began to sink down into the floor. This plate triggered several large torches around the room to light up, and reveal even more traps. Large swinging blades that came from the celing and barely scraped the middle of each cube's surface. While nearly twenty large bladed saws began to move quickly between the cubes. Following the grooves and constantly moving back and forth.
Within the far end of the room held an alter with an old tablet being displayed upon it. That must've been what the older fellow wanted. Something he called 'The Forth Wall'. It's been said that there was evidence written on it that tells of an Otherworld. Supposedly said that the artifact itself was cursed, but that mattered little to the Gnoll.
A loud rumbling could barely be heard over the noise of the blades. A small bit of dirt and dust was dropping from where he entered, and another thick wall began to slide down. He didn't have much time to grab the artifact and make it back out of the room.
Going across the ground was basically suicide. Though it could be done, it gambled the risk of him loosing his tail. A few small breaths while he quickly studied how the traps moved, and he bolted across the first few cubes. A couple of saws coming dangerously close to cutting him. The Gnoll jumped onto one of the swinging blades, and then onto another. Swinging across the dangerous floor to the alter.
As he jumped off the last blade, he put too much force into it. The swinging blade ended up shaking in midair a bit, and collided with a floor-saw. Causing a large chain reaction throughout the dangerous room. Quickly, the Gnoll grabbed the tablet and shoved it into a bag, then tried to make his way across the deadly floor. Sharp fragments of the traps began to fly through the air, as a few of the floor saws got knocked out of their grooves and onto the cubes. The cloaked one got lucky a few times, as the rebel saws were hit by the swinging blades. A few pieces got caught in his clothing, but he managed to make it across and slip through the door.
As the large door closed with a loud tremble, the adventurer leaned against it and took a much needed breather. Pulling the artifact out of his bag, he took a closer look at it. Though very dusty, he could see the ancient text that was written on it. Understand it? No, but hopefully the old bird could. Another deep breath caused the Gnoll to get some dust in his snout and made him sneeze on the tablet... Causing it to shatter in several pieces in his hands.
Surprised, he let out a loud whimper while staring at the remains of the tablet in his paws. Then suddenly began to... look around overhead? Wait, that's not part of the script.
"Who's there!?" He... asked to his surroundings while placing the broken artifact back in the bag. "And why are you constantly stating what I'm doing?"
...Seriously, that's not part of the script. What the...?
"What script?"
...You smell like eggs.
"I smell like eggs?"
The hell? How are you...?
"You tell me! How long have you been watching me? Who are you?"
I'm the writer.
"Writer of what?"
...This story? Seriously, what the fish? You're not suppose to... Gah.
"What's wrong?"
Nevermind. Ignore it for now, just find a way out.
"Errm... Okay, I guess. Any suggestions?"
I can't tell you that. I'm a writer, not a strategy guide.
"Not really sure what that means, but alright." The Gnoll began to look around the walls down the hall. "Man, that's going to get annoying from now on." He whispered to himself. Eventually he came to a large carving on the wall that looked rather suspicious. He could even feel a draft coming from the edges of it. "So how do I open it?"
You're asking me?
"Well... Yeah. You're the one writing this, aren't you?"
Yes, but I'm not going to tell you. Look around a bit. Try a few things.
"Like what?"
Well, if you couldn't hear me, what would you try?
"Hmm." The Gnoll studied the carving, what seemed to be a figure with four arms and several objects hanging on each arm. He pulled on a few things, but nothing budged. He pushed on it, pulled, climbed on it for a better look, and even tried to ram it a few times. Tired, he leaned against one of it's sides, only to have the thing give in and turn sideways through the wall. As the Gnoll got back up, and studied the small cave tunnel, he followed it through until he got outside several minutes later. "Phew, glad I didn't have to go through the bat cave again."
That wasn't so hard, was it?
"Easy for you to say. You're not the one who ran into it head first a few times."
Well, if the first time didn't do anything, why would the next three?
"You never know until you try!" Another deep breath- "Do you seriously have to do that!? Every little detail? This is feeling like an invasion of privacy."
To be fair, it kinda is.
"Why can I hear you all of a sudden?"
Really? Didn't piece that together yet?
The Gnoll shook his head and looked upward irritated.
What's the artifact's name?
"The Forth wall?"
And what did you do?
"I sneezed on it."
Annnnnd...?
"It crumbled?"
Broke. You broke it. You broke the forth wall.
"Well, you don't have to rub it in." The Gnoll crossed his arms as he began to walk. "I doubt I'll be getting paid for this now, but there's still a small chance."
...You'll get paid. But probably not the full amount.
The Gnoll sighed, taking off his cloak. His fur was a dirty gray, with a much lighter gray on the underside. "-What are you doing?"
...I'm describing what you look like to the readers.
"The 'readers'?"
The readers to your story, they can't see you. So I'm describing what you look like.
"Yet, you can see me?"
Of course I can.
"How?"
That's... Complicated. Just bare with it for now.
The Gnoll tossed his head, a little bit of his dark red mane bouncing with the night breeze. His name was Flaytonn-
"What!? No it's not!"
...What do you mean? It says right here that you're Flaytonn.
"...Kassel? My name is Kassel."
...Oh. Fish.
"Who's Flaytonn?"
Nevermind. Ignore that.
"Another complicated answer?"
Yes. But you're right, you're name is Kassel {Case-E-L}.
"What was that?"
What now?
"Why did you pronounce my name in syllables slowly?"
To tell them how to pronouce it? Most people would look at that and think {Cass-E-L}. It's not a common name here.
"Well... I suppose."
You want to add something? Let alone describe yourself to the readers?
"I wouldn't know what to say."
Start with the basics; fur & mane color, height, weight, physique.
"Physique?" The grey one tilted his head.
Your body shape.
"...Fluffy?" Kassel studied at his middle with his paws.
You're not wrong, but I'd probably say borderline chubby.
"Chubby? Really?"
Not shaming here. Heavy eater, are you?
"Only every once in a while. But... that's complicated."
Of course it is. But I suppose everyone has their secrets.
"Can you be completely honest with me?"
I can try.
"Who are you? Why are you writing a story about me?"
I can't tell you why I am. This story is about you, so you'll find that answer out eventually.
"So you're some type of watcher?"
You could say that.
"Could I at least get a name?"
...Bartan. My name is Bartan.
"Well Bartan, I'm Kassel. Glad to have my very own Ominous voice follow me around and record my every movement like a stalker."
I'm not sure what's worse: that statement, or the lack of sarcasm you just had.
"No point in making this a bad thing. It was just very unsettling at first." The Gnoll scratched the back of his neck. "And that is going to take some getting used to."
You can say that again. The night held a thin fog that could be seen from the moon's light. Although it was a bit cool, the fresh air was a nice change from the old Temple's. So much so that Kass decided to take off his cloak, reveiling his unusually long mane that reached down to the base of his tail.
"No privacy, huh?"
Well, I thought it was a key point. It becomes important later.
"I'm starting to think you know alot more about me than, well... I do."
And that's the main purpose of this story. We're trying to find out who you are. All of us, including you.
"Who I am...? I know who I am."
Do you? The Gnoll remained quiet for a few moments. We don't have to talk about this just yet, let me finish your description first, alright?
"Okay."
Just enjoy the night while you travel back. And be careful not to slip, your lack of footwear isn't the greatest in the wet grass. Kasse then took a quick look at his wet foot for a moment, then back to the sky for another annoyed look. He wore some slightly baggy pants that were faintly damaged from old age and a few other things, like the previous traps he encountered. A small belt with many tools, usually for thievery-
"I'm not a thief!" He yelled into the night.
I didn't say you were. But those tools are mostly for lockpicking and B&E. You're like a Tomb Raider or something, right?
"I prefer Adventurer. I do many daring things in order to retrieve lost items of ancient times."
So, grave robbing. Another annoyed grunt. I know, I know. It's just connotation, but still. Above that, the Gnoll wore a black, sleeveless shirt, that once again: was slightly damaged. I'm guessing you don't get new clothing very often.
"It's difficult at these times. That, and it's hard to keep them in one piece."
Understood. Anything else you'd like to add?
"Not much else, nope."
Fair enough.
The Gnoll reached the city gate of Elbarenluv by early morning. The day's light was shining bright over the awakening city, and the streets were already being filled with people. The first thing Kassel wanted to do was collect his bounty, then perhaps get some food finally. He felt like he hadn't eaten in three weeks, however it's only been about two.
"You kept track?"
Sadly, yes. He reached the old doctor's home and gave a loud knock on the door. "Go away! I'm doing science!" The bird shouted from inside, giving the Gnoll a puzzled look on his face.
"It's Kassel."
"Kasse? You're back already? I only sent you out a few hours ago."
"You sent me out yesterday afternoon." Kasse said, tiling his head. And once again giving an irritated look at the sky. I'm not sure why you keep looking up, I'm not above you. "You sound like you're in my head."
"Who are you talking to?" The doctor asked, while tending the several minute task of unlocking his door.
"Uh... No one. Long story."
No one. I feel special.
"Well, you're technically not around here, so."
Doesn't mean I'm not real. I'm just... Not exactly there.
"What do you mean by that?"
"What are you doing?" The old bird snapped while finally opening his door and grumbling at the dawn of light. "Get in here!" And the Gnoll entered the workshop. Inside, the room was rather dark. Only illuminated by a dim light from a lantern above. The tables were always messy with books and potions of such, with the occasional scroll here and there. As for the large bookshelves, there were hundreds of them within the Tower Home. "Did you get what I asked of you? Or are you wasting my time?"
"Y-yes. I found it. And barely got out alive, for your concern." The bird snorted at him. "But..."
"I don't like Buts." Kassel did his best to hold in his chuckle. "Now where is it?"
"Right here, Burdock." He handed the Red feathered bird the bag. "See what I did there? You're a bird and you're a doc-"
"That wasn't funny when we met several years ago, and it's not funny now." The bird snatched the bag. In your defense, I thought it was clever.
"Thanks!"
But I'm not sure how many people know what Burdocks are.
"They don't?"
And Mr. Taute is giving you an odd look.
"He is?" The Gnoll looked at the bird who was giving him an odd look.
"...I see starvation is getting to you."
"Not... Exactly." Kasse started rubbing his mane again. "Let's just say, I found the curse of the object. There was apparently a voice inside of it when I retrieved it."
I'm not a voice, and I wasn't inside of the artifact.
"Well, if I tell him I accidently sneezed on it and it shattered, then I probably won't get paid."
*Bartan smacks his forehead.*
"You... Did what now?" The bird glared at the Gnoll. Then scampered the bag for the six pieces. He grumbled at the adventurer a bit until he put it on the table and began to piece it together. "It's still in better shape than I expected. So I'll pay you for it. Providing that there's no more to it than this."
"That's all I found. Just be careful not to break it! Or else you'll get a voice in your head narrating every little thing you do." Another odd look from the doctor, then he reached into a drawer. Pulling out a small coin pouch.
"Here. Now leave me to my experiments. I need to translate this tablet afterword to see what secrets it holds."
"About this curse-"
"Leave!" And Mr. Taute shoved the Gnoll outside of the tower, and began locking the door with several locks.
"Well, at least I got some money for food." Kasse shrugged. And began walking down the streets to his favorite pub.
The streets were getting more crowded by the minute, while many people started to come out of their homes and look for work. Most of them were Bi-ped or Anthromorphic animals, with the occasional reptile or bird.
"Why would you think otherwise?" Kassel asked the voice inside his head. Out loud, I might add, and recieving a few strange looks.
Most of the readers live in a world run by humans.
"Humans?"
Tell me you know what a human is.
"Yes, I've seen a few of them. But they're an endangered species by now."
Mmm, your planet used to be ruled by them a long time ago.
"Yeah... I know." A small yoink on the Gnoll's tail caught his attention. As he turned around, he seen a small Lion cub claim it. "Been a while, Cinna. How are you?" Kassel gave it a smile.
"Kassy! Where's my money?" The young female demanded.
"Money?" He questioned, tilting his head and lowering one ear sideways.
"Yes! You still owe me money!"
"I do? I think you're Lyin'." He teased. "Get it?" The Lion shook her head.
"I saw you go into the doctor's tower. Did he pay you?"
"Well, yes, but..." The Gnoll pulled out the small pouch with coins in it, opening it only to have it snached out of his paws by the cub. As she dug through it, she took a few coins worth.
"This will do for now. I'll pick up the rest later." And the small one ran off, tossing the pouch back to him. You realize that you've already repaid her by now.
"About three or four times worth." Kassel stated, still staring at the cub from a distance with a smile on his face.
Yet you let her...
"People need to eat. And it keeps her from getting into trouble."
Says the person who hasn't eaten in two weeks.
"I'm... Fine. No need to worry about me, Bartan." And he set off once again.
Entering the pub and taking a seat at the bar, Kassel unstrapped his weapon and set it on the floor. Doing so, he couldn't help but stare at it's sheath. Though the design itself was that of a Falchion, it was made for one-handed use. Come to think of it, the weapon itself was getting a little old now. But not as old as his previous weapon. "Back already, darlin'?" The canine barmaid asked him. Though Kassel was never really sure if she was a brown wolf or a coyote. "I thought you left last night."
"I did, and I'm back. It's been a long night Rosie."
"I hope you brought some money with you this time." She said, with a bit of a disappointed look on her face. "You know I can't feed you if you don't have anything. No matter how cute you are."
"It's alright, I got paid. How much for a full meal?"
"10,50, you sure you want to spend that much coin on a single meal?" She asked, while he got out the small pouch.
"I really should eat something. I don't like going so long without it." The Gnoll handed her the coins, and counted how much he had left. About 12,30.
"I don't see how you can do that; go so long without eating. Do you know how to hunt? There hasn't been much for animals lately around here."
"I half know how, but I'm not very good at it. I just..."
"You haven't been stealing, have you?"
"N-no. Not food anyway." Rosie raised an eyebrow at that. "Just a few jobs for Mr. Taute. Retrieving some artifacts."
"On an empty stomach? You're quite something Kassie." She smiled, while she placed his order to the kitchen.
"Call it... A Gift, I suppose." He sighed. Putting away his left over coin and getting a few moments of rest.
Eventually, he felt another large tug on his tail, that more felt like a grope. A Blue Dragonite sat on the stool beside him. "Look how bushy this thing is. Don't you ever get groomed? Let alone shed?"
"Be thankful you don't have fur, Tobyas." He smiled. She was more or less a Wingless Lizard-person, but Dragonites were known for their ability to change into a small dragon. Though it did lack the breath weapon, they could fly. "Why are you here? I thought you took off to the northeast."
"I got another job, but it's not something I want to do alone." The Gnoll looked at her surprised.
"Really? You usually want the coin for yourself."
"Yes, but this one is a little more... Dangerous. You've heard of the Rabbit's Foot, right?" At first, Kassel shook his head. Then motioned for her to stop while slightly gazing at the-Really? You want me to explain it to you?
"Well, you know, don't you?"
"Of course I know, It's my job."
Of course I know, it's my story.
Again, he motioned the Dragonite to stop. *Sighs* The Rabbit's Foot was a ruby about the size of half a fist. It was long, and well... Looked like a rabbit's foot. People say that the stone itself is Lucky, but it's been lost for a while.
"Oh, okay." Tobyas gave the Gnoll an odd look. "Long story. I've heard of it now yes." An even odder look.
"Yeah... Anyway, I'd like to have a partner go with me on this one."
"You mean Meat Shield."
"Same difference. And since no one else wants to do the job, I figured I'd go to my favorite wall."
"And what makes you think I'm cut out for the job?" He asked, expecting a bit of praise. While the Dragonite was still holding onto the Gnoll's tail, she gave it a tight squeeze. The tail seemed to inflate outwardly like a balloon, and omitted a faint Squeaking noise like a... Well, Squeaky toy. Kasse frantically took back his tail. "Don't do that!"
"I still get a kick out of that." She chuckled. "And what's the big deal? Don't like people knowing that you're invincible?"
"I just don't know how much longer it's going to last. And I don't want it to be drained randomly by people getting their giggles out of squeezing me." Another chuckle from the female. "How much is this job paying?"
"Well, I'll be paying you 50,60."
"And how much are you getting?"
"Enough." A small grumble from the Gnoll. "It's up to you if you want to take it, or go back to the board. But not many jobs lately are for helping people. Considering how picky you are."
"I'm..." He glanced away for a moment, while a hint of sadness shone in his eyes. "We shouldn't have to hurt people to survive..."
"That motto of yours would've been the death of you a long time ago, if it wasn't for that ring." Tobyas whispered to him quite harshly. "You have an amazing gift, but you won't use it to make yourself happy." She snorted.
"I'll take the job, providing we do it without hurting anyone."
"There shouldn't be anyone alive. Maybe a few restless spirits around, but."
The Gnoll shuttered. "I never liked the undead."
"And the undead never liked you. So you're an instant aggro magnet. Making my job much easier." She smiled. "I'll be waiting at the gate for you at sundown."
"Sundown? It's bad enough we're robbing the dead, but do we have to do it at night too?"
"Would you rather do it right now? I heard you've been up all night." He sighed and shook his head. "Tonight it is. Bring something blunt." And Tobyas walked off, just in time for the Gnoll's food to arrive.
"Got another job, did you?" Rosie asked him.
"Yeah. I guess I shouldn't be complaining." Kassel took a bite out of his meal, and let out a low murr. "Want some?"
"I really shouldn't. I'm fine, but..."
"But?"
"There's been a few pups lately that have been asking for some food. Perhaps...?" He nodded at her, picking up his plates while Rosie pointed to a back table where several children have been sitting.
After finding a comfortable tarp to sleep on, Kassel slept through most of the day and afternoon. Only to be awaken by said 'Ominous Voice' and slightly grumbled a bit before trying to go back to sleep. Seriously Kass, get up. People are waiting.
"Meh... What time is it?"
About an hour before you meet up with Tobyas.
After a few more grumbles, the Gnoll got awake. He made his way up on the walls that made the Citadel. Although the city was big, it was more just a very large settlement. People with nowhere to go often came to the large walled Slum to attempt to find work or provide services to others. Though Elbarenluv has been called the City of Thieves for a long time, the people who live in it have nothing to steal.
As dusk began to set in, Kassel refilled his water bottle with fresh water by the harbor, and sat in wait by the Gate. It's nice to have a breather and not worry about money for the time being.
"Yes. It is."
So, care to explain what Tobyas meant by 'Invincible'?
The Gnoll sighed quietly, and looked up once again. Then shook his head with a smile. "Have you ever heard of Oddin?"
Yes. He was the last human 'King' from centuries ago. Supposedly he was a good man.
"Well, he had several pieces of Jewelery that was named after him. Two rings, an amulet, two earrings, and a belt. I... Found one ring, and well..."
It made you basically indesctructable, despite how humiliating it sounds. Kassel let out a chuckle.
"Yes, it does sound... Odd. But I can't say I'd be alive right now without it."
What I find Odd is that you're not wearing a ring...
"No... I'm not."
"Who are you talking to?" Tobyas asked, sneaking up on the Gnoll and causing him to scamper slightly.
"N-no one. When did you get here?"
"A few minutes ago. Why were you talking about Oddin's Jewelery? You really shouldn't be saying things like that out loud."
"It's a long story, Tobyas." Kassel said, using the same excuse once again.
"Fine. But we better get moving. Those undead are not going to kill themselves." The Gnoll's head tilted at the strange figure of speech, but climbed down regardless. "Where's your mace?"
"Mace?"
"Yeah, I told you to bring something blunt." She motioned her hammer on her back, along with her greatsword. "Don't you remember the old saying?"
"You can cut the flesh, but you must crush the bone." He mumbled. "I'll be fine." And the Dragonite tossed her snout at him.
"You're always fine." She teased him.
You can continue the story elsewhere, just ctrl+F "Chapter 2" and it should take you right to it
The links once again:
FurAffinity (rtf file) - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/13970164/
SoFurry (No download required, some formatting) - https://www.sofurry.com/view/731805
Weasyl (pdf download, best read) - https://www.weasyl.com/~bartan/subm.....urface-tension
Inkbunny (rtf file + some story, little formatting) - https://inkbunny.net/s/1449833
Thanks for making it this far
FurAffinity (rtf file) - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/13970164/
SoFurry (No download required, some formatting) - https://www.sofurry.com/view/731805
Weasyl (pdf download, best read) - https://www.weasyl.com/~bartan/subm.....urface-tension
Inkbunny (rtf file + some story, little formatting) - https://inkbunny.net/s/1449833
*Note: There is no sexual content in this novel series. If you came here for that, sorry. Not this time around.
"What did I just click on?"
This is a "Novel Card", something I'm trying out to promote my older works. Think of it as a flyer or a reminder that this story exists in the mass flood that is content. This one is for:
****
Hollow Bodies - Finally, a story not about dragons... But it does consist of one >>; This story is honestly like a 'Final Fantasy' adventure, and one that you can just jump right into without any prior knowledge of anything. The humor is... Subjective, I admit that. I'm not exactly a person you would describe as 'funny', but I did try to add a lot more light-hearted moments into this series. The same kind of goes with the fourth-wall breaks as well: you may like it, you may not. It was just an idea I had and something I wanted to play around with at the time.
...Seriously, this is like the third story I wrote in my career. It's quite old. >>;;
Anyway, you'll probably like this novel if you enjoy:
+Adventure
+4th Wall humor
+Good-hearted protagonist
+No-yiff/sex stories, but with a little bit of adult content here and there.
+"Cartoon" silliness (you'll see what I mean maybe 1/4th in the first act)
+Action
+Medieval Fantasy Worlds
+Mystery, borderline horror
+War
+Violence/Conflict
If you're interested, go at it. Bookmark it for later, download it, whatever. I just hope you enjoy this
For FA, I'll give you the first chapter as a sample here. If you're interested, follow the links above
~~~~~~
Hollow Bodies - Surface Tension
By Bartan Tirix
Chapter 1
The Cave was cool and damp, which was expected, as the cloaked Gnoll cautiously made his way in. His nocturnal vision was slowly making out the old trail that hadn't been used in centuries. As the bright yellow eyes scanned the walls of the cave, it spotted a few dart traps that barely seemed to be sticking out of the wall. A little bit more study of the soft stone floor, he could see the few triggers for such things, and carefully made his way around them.
A bit deeper into the cave, the soft echos of squeaks could be heard. The faint sounds made the Gnoll shutter and the back of his mane raise a bit. He never liked bats... Actually, next to no rodents to begin with. Let alone anything that could fly. Further in, he could make out the hundreds of creatures hanging from the celing. A loud swallow from his throat faintly traveled though the large room, as the Gnoll gathered the courage to press forward. Step by step, he fought his instincts to just bolt for the other side. And step by step, he almost waited for that one small branch, or puddle that would startled the swam above his head. Because, that's just like his luck.
But to his surprise, he made it to the other side. Taking a deep breath, he began to push further down the cave. He wasn't safe yet. And after he got what he came for, he would have to travel through that room again. Once again, the Gnoll shuttered at the thought of them, but it would all be worth it.
Slowly the cave began to change into the faint ruins of an old temple. The carvings on the floor and walls made it incresingly difficult to tell if they were armed. As he slowly scanned the walls and floors, he seen nothing that would be lethal. Another deep breath of relief, and he stepped forward... Only to step on a pressure plate and cause the enterance he came through to be walled off completely. The Gnoll grunted and tried pressing on the wall a bit, but it wouldn't budge. He would have to find another way out afterword. First, he needed his bounty.
Through the old temple, the air was very thin. The faint mix of moss and decay filled it, as he slowly made his way down the halls. A few more dart traps could be seen, along with the occassional spike pit. A few of them already triggered by a previous adventurer whom met their end. Though the Gnoll felt sorry for their souls, such is the concequence in grave robbing: You might just fall into your own while taking from another.
The Gnoll came into a very large room made of several cubic blocks. Between them, there were deep grooves that were placed there on purpose. Almost making a large checkered board pattern. Another step forward, and a large pressure plate began to sink down into the floor. This plate triggered several large torches around the room to light up, and reveal even more traps. Large swinging blades that came from the celing and barely scraped the middle of each cube's surface. While nearly twenty large bladed saws began to move quickly between the cubes. Following the grooves and constantly moving back and forth.
Within the far end of the room held an alter with an old tablet being displayed upon it. That must've been what the older fellow wanted. Something he called 'The Forth Wall'. It's been said that there was evidence written on it that tells of an Otherworld. Supposedly said that the artifact itself was cursed, but that mattered little to the Gnoll.
A loud rumbling could barely be heard over the noise of the blades. A small bit of dirt and dust was dropping from where he entered, and another thick wall began to slide down. He didn't have much time to grab the artifact and make it back out of the room.
Going across the ground was basically suicide. Though it could be done, it gambled the risk of him loosing his tail. A few small breaths while he quickly studied how the traps moved, and he bolted across the first few cubes. A couple of saws coming dangerously close to cutting him. The Gnoll jumped onto one of the swinging blades, and then onto another. Swinging across the dangerous floor to the alter.
As he jumped off the last blade, he put too much force into it. The swinging blade ended up shaking in midair a bit, and collided with a floor-saw. Causing a large chain reaction throughout the dangerous room. Quickly, the Gnoll grabbed the tablet and shoved it into a bag, then tried to make his way across the deadly floor. Sharp fragments of the traps began to fly through the air, as a few of the floor saws got knocked out of their grooves and onto the cubes. The cloaked one got lucky a few times, as the rebel saws were hit by the swinging blades. A few pieces got caught in his clothing, but he managed to make it across and slip through the door.
As the large door closed with a loud tremble, the adventurer leaned against it and took a much needed breather. Pulling the artifact out of his bag, he took a closer look at it. Though very dusty, he could see the ancient text that was written on it. Understand it? No, but hopefully the old bird could. Another deep breath caused the Gnoll to get some dust in his snout and made him sneeze on the tablet... Causing it to shatter in several pieces in his hands.
Surprised, he let out a loud whimper while staring at the remains of the tablet in his paws. Then suddenly began to... look around overhead? Wait, that's not part of the script.
"Who's there!?" He... asked to his surroundings while placing the broken artifact back in the bag. "And why are you constantly stating what I'm doing?"
...Seriously, that's not part of the script. What the...?
"What script?"
...You smell like eggs.
"I smell like eggs?"
The hell? How are you...?
"You tell me! How long have you been watching me? Who are you?"
I'm the writer.
"Writer of what?"
...This story? Seriously, what the fish? You're not suppose to... Gah.
"What's wrong?"
Nevermind. Ignore it for now, just find a way out.
"Errm... Okay, I guess. Any suggestions?"
I can't tell you that. I'm a writer, not a strategy guide.
"Not really sure what that means, but alright." The Gnoll began to look around the walls down the hall. "Man, that's going to get annoying from now on." He whispered to himself. Eventually he came to a large carving on the wall that looked rather suspicious. He could even feel a draft coming from the edges of it. "So how do I open it?"
You're asking me?
"Well... Yeah. You're the one writing this, aren't you?"
Yes, but I'm not going to tell you. Look around a bit. Try a few things.
"Like what?"
Well, if you couldn't hear me, what would you try?
"Hmm." The Gnoll studied the carving, what seemed to be a figure with four arms and several objects hanging on each arm. He pulled on a few things, but nothing budged. He pushed on it, pulled, climbed on it for a better look, and even tried to ram it a few times. Tired, he leaned against one of it's sides, only to have the thing give in and turn sideways through the wall. As the Gnoll got back up, and studied the small cave tunnel, he followed it through until he got outside several minutes later. "Phew, glad I didn't have to go through the bat cave again."
That wasn't so hard, was it?
"Easy for you to say. You're not the one who ran into it head first a few times."
Well, if the first time didn't do anything, why would the next three?
"You never know until you try!" Another deep breath- "Do you seriously have to do that!? Every little detail? This is feeling like an invasion of privacy."
To be fair, it kinda is.
"Why can I hear you all of a sudden?"
Really? Didn't piece that together yet?
The Gnoll shook his head and looked upward irritated.
What's the artifact's name?
"The Forth wall?"
And what did you do?
"I sneezed on it."
Annnnnd...?
"It crumbled?"
Broke. You broke it. You broke the forth wall.
"Well, you don't have to rub it in." The Gnoll crossed his arms as he began to walk. "I doubt I'll be getting paid for this now, but there's still a small chance."
...You'll get paid. But probably not the full amount.
The Gnoll sighed, taking off his cloak. His fur was a dirty gray, with a much lighter gray on the underside. "-What are you doing?"
...I'm describing what you look like to the readers.
"The 'readers'?"
The readers to your story, they can't see you. So I'm describing what you look like.
"Yet, you can see me?"
Of course I can.
"How?"
That's... Complicated. Just bare with it for now.
The Gnoll tossed his head, a little bit of his dark red mane bouncing with the night breeze. His name was Flaytonn-
"What!? No it's not!"
...What do you mean? It says right here that you're Flaytonn.
"...Kassel? My name is Kassel."
...Oh. Fish.
"Who's Flaytonn?"
Nevermind. Ignore that.
"Another complicated answer?"
Yes. But you're right, you're name is Kassel {Case-E-L}.
"What was that?"
What now?
"Why did you pronounce my name in syllables slowly?"
To tell them how to pronouce it? Most people would look at that and think {Cass-E-L}. It's not a common name here.
"Well... I suppose."
You want to add something? Let alone describe yourself to the readers?
"I wouldn't know what to say."
Start with the basics; fur & mane color, height, weight, physique.
"Physique?" The grey one tilted his head.
Your body shape.
"...Fluffy?" Kassel studied at his middle with his paws.
You're not wrong, but I'd probably say borderline chubby.
"Chubby? Really?"
Not shaming here. Heavy eater, are you?
"Only every once in a while. But... that's complicated."
Of course it is. But I suppose everyone has their secrets.
"Can you be completely honest with me?"
I can try.
"Who are you? Why are you writing a story about me?"
I can't tell you why I am. This story is about you, so you'll find that answer out eventually.
"So you're some type of watcher?"
You could say that.
"Could I at least get a name?"
...Bartan. My name is Bartan.
"Well Bartan, I'm Kassel. Glad to have my very own Ominous voice follow me around and record my every movement like a stalker."
I'm not sure what's worse: that statement, or the lack of sarcasm you just had.
"No point in making this a bad thing. It was just very unsettling at first." The Gnoll scratched the back of his neck. "And that is going to take some getting used to."
You can say that again. The night held a thin fog that could be seen from the moon's light. Although it was a bit cool, the fresh air was a nice change from the old Temple's. So much so that Kass decided to take off his cloak, reveiling his unusually long mane that reached down to the base of his tail.
"No privacy, huh?"
Well, I thought it was a key point. It becomes important later.
"I'm starting to think you know alot more about me than, well... I do."
And that's the main purpose of this story. We're trying to find out who you are. All of us, including you.
"Who I am...? I know who I am."
Do you? The Gnoll remained quiet for a few moments. We don't have to talk about this just yet, let me finish your description first, alright?
"Okay."
Just enjoy the night while you travel back. And be careful not to slip, your lack of footwear isn't the greatest in the wet grass. Kasse then took a quick look at his wet foot for a moment, then back to the sky for another annoyed look. He wore some slightly baggy pants that were faintly damaged from old age and a few other things, like the previous traps he encountered. A small belt with many tools, usually for thievery-
"I'm not a thief!" He yelled into the night.
I didn't say you were. But those tools are mostly for lockpicking and B&E. You're like a Tomb Raider or something, right?
"I prefer Adventurer. I do many daring things in order to retrieve lost items of ancient times."
So, grave robbing. Another annoyed grunt. I know, I know. It's just connotation, but still. Above that, the Gnoll wore a black, sleeveless shirt, that once again: was slightly damaged. I'm guessing you don't get new clothing very often.
"It's difficult at these times. That, and it's hard to keep them in one piece."
Understood. Anything else you'd like to add?
"Not much else, nope."
Fair enough.
The Gnoll reached the city gate of Elbarenluv by early morning. The day's light was shining bright over the awakening city, and the streets were already being filled with people. The first thing Kassel wanted to do was collect his bounty, then perhaps get some food finally. He felt like he hadn't eaten in three weeks, however it's only been about two.
"You kept track?"
Sadly, yes. He reached the old doctor's home and gave a loud knock on the door. "Go away! I'm doing science!" The bird shouted from inside, giving the Gnoll a puzzled look on his face.
"It's Kassel."
"Kasse? You're back already? I only sent you out a few hours ago."
"You sent me out yesterday afternoon." Kasse said, tiling his head. And once again giving an irritated look at the sky. I'm not sure why you keep looking up, I'm not above you. "You sound like you're in my head."
"Who are you talking to?" The doctor asked, while tending the several minute task of unlocking his door.
"Uh... No one. Long story."
No one. I feel special.
"Well, you're technically not around here, so."
Doesn't mean I'm not real. I'm just... Not exactly there.
"What do you mean by that?"
"What are you doing?" The old bird snapped while finally opening his door and grumbling at the dawn of light. "Get in here!" And the Gnoll entered the workshop. Inside, the room was rather dark. Only illuminated by a dim light from a lantern above. The tables were always messy with books and potions of such, with the occasional scroll here and there. As for the large bookshelves, there were hundreds of them within the Tower Home. "Did you get what I asked of you? Or are you wasting my time?"
"Y-yes. I found it. And barely got out alive, for your concern." The bird snorted at him. "But..."
"I don't like Buts." Kassel did his best to hold in his chuckle. "Now where is it?"
"Right here, Burdock." He handed the Red feathered bird the bag. "See what I did there? You're a bird and you're a doc-"
"That wasn't funny when we met several years ago, and it's not funny now." The bird snatched the bag. In your defense, I thought it was clever.
"Thanks!"
But I'm not sure how many people know what Burdocks are.
"They don't?"
And Mr. Taute is giving you an odd look.
"He is?" The Gnoll looked at the bird who was giving him an odd look.
"...I see starvation is getting to you."
"Not... Exactly." Kasse started rubbing his mane again. "Let's just say, I found the curse of the object. There was apparently a voice inside of it when I retrieved it."
I'm not a voice, and I wasn't inside of the artifact.
"Well, if I tell him I accidently sneezed on it and it shattered, then I probably won't get paid."
*Bartan smacks his forehead.*
"You... Did what now?" The bird glared at the Gnoll. Then scampered the bag for the six pieces. He grumbled at the adventurer a bit until he put it on the table and began to piece it together. "It's still in better shape than I expected. So I'll pay you for it. Providing that there's no more to it than this."
"That's all I found. Just be careful not to break it! Or else you'll get a voice in your head narrating every little thing you do." Another odd look from the doctor, then he reached into a drawer. Pulling out a small coin pouch.
"Here. Now leave me to my experiments. I need to translate this tablet afterword to see what secrets it holds."
"About this curse-"
"Leave!" And Mr. Taute shoved the Gnoll outside of the tower, and began locking the door with several locks.
"Well, at least I got some money for food." Kasse shrugged. And began walking down the streets to his favorite pub.
The streets were getting more crowded by the minute, while many people started to come out of their homes and look for work. Most of them were Bi-ped or Anthromorphic animals, with the occasional reptile or bird.
"Why would you think otherwise?" Kassel asked the voice inside his head. Out loud, I might add, and recieving a few strange looks.
Most of the readers live in a world run by humans.
"Humans?"
Tell me you know what a human is.
"Yes, I've seen a few of them. But they're an endangered species by now."
Mmm, your planet used to be ruled by them a long time ago.
"Yeah... I know." A small yoink on the Gnoll's tail caught his attention. As he turned around, he seen a small Lion cub claim it. "Been a while, Cinna. How are you?" Kassel gave it a smile.
"Kassy! Where's my money?" The young female demanded.
"Money?" He questioned, tilting his head and lowering one ear sideways.
"Yes! You still owe me money!"
"I do? I think you're Lyin'." He teased. "Get it?" The Lion shook her head.
"I saw you go into the doctor's tower. Did he pay you?"
"Well, yes, but..." The Gnoll pulled out the small pouch with coins in it, opening it only to have it snached out of his paws by the cub. As she dug through it, she took a few coins worth.
"This will do for now. I'll pick up the rest later." And the small one ran off, tossing the pouch back to him. You realize that you've already repaid her by now.
"About three or four times worth." Kassel stated, still staring at the cub from a distance with a smile on his face.
Yet you let her...
"People need to eat. And it keeps her from getting into trouble."
Says the person who hasn't eaten in two weeks.
"I'm... Fine. No need to worry about me, Bartan." And he set off once again.
Entering the pub and taking a seat at the bar, Kassel unstrapped his weapon and set it on the floor. Doing so, he couldn't help but stare at it's sheath. Though the design itself was that of a Falchion, it was made for one-handed use. Come to think of it, the weapon itself was getting a little old now. But not as old as his previous weapon. "Back already, darlin'?" The canine barmaid asked him. Though Kassel was never really sure if she was a brown wolf or a coyote. "I thought you left last night."
"I did, and I'm back. It's been a long night Rosie."
"I hope you brought some money with you this time." She said, with a bit of a disappointed look on her face. "You know I can't feed you if you don't have anything. No matter how cute you are."
"It's alright, I got paid. How much for a full meal?"
"10,50, you sure you want to spend that much coin on a single meal?" She asked, while he got out the small pouch.
"I really should eat something. I don't like going so long without it." The Gnoll handed her the coins, and counted how much he had left. About 12,30.
"I don't see how you can do that; go so long without eating. Do you know how to hunt? There hasn't been much for animals lately around here."
"I half know how, but I'm not very good at it. I just..."
"You haven't been stealing, have you?"
"N-no. Not food anyway." Rosie raised an eyebrow at that. "Just a few jobs for Mr. Taute. Retrieving some artifacts."
"On an empty stomach? You're quite something Kassie." She smiled, while she placed his order to the kitchen.
"Call it... A Gift, I suppose." He sighed. Putting away his left over coin and getting a few moments of rest.
Eventually, he felt another large tug on his tail, that more felt like a grope. A Blue Dragonite sat on the stool beside him. "Look how bushy this thing is. Don't you ever get groomed? Let alone shed?"
"Be thankful you don't have fur, Tobyas." He smiled. She was more or less a Wingless Lizard-person, but Dragonites were known for their ability to change into a small dragon. Though it did lack the breath weapon, they could fly. "Why are you here? I thought you took off to the northeast."
"I got another job, but it's not something I want to do alone." The Gnoll looked at her surprised.
"Really? You usually want the coin for yourself."
"Yes, but this one is a little more... Dangerous. You've heard of the Rabbit's Foot, right?" At first, Kassel shook his head. Then motioned for her to stop while slightly gazing at the-Really? You want me to explain it to you?
"Well, you know, don't you?"
"Of course I know, It's my job."
Of course I know, it's my story.
Again, he motioned the Dragonite to stop. *Sighs* The Rabbit's Foot was a ruby about the size of half a fist. It was long, and well... Looked like a rabbit's foot. People say that the stone itself is Lucky, but it's been lost for a while.
"Oh, okay." Tobyas gave the Gnoll an odd look. "Long story. I've heard of it now yes." An even odder look.
"Yeah... Anyway, I'd like to have a partner go with me on this one."
"You mean Meat Shield."
"Same difference. And since no one else wants to do the job, I figured I'd go to my favorite wall."
"And what makes you think I'm cut out for the job?" He asked, expecting a bit of praise. While the Dragonite was still holding onto the Gnoll's tail, she gave it a tight squeeze. The tail seemed to inflate outwardly like a balloon, and omitted a faint Squeaking noise like a... Well, Squeaky toy. Kasse frantically took back his tail. "Don't do that!"
"I still get a kick out of that." She chuckled. "And what's the big deal? Don't like people knowing that you're invincible?"
"I just don't know how much longer it's going to last. And I don't want it to be drained randomly by people getting their giggles out of squeezing me." Another chuckle from the female. "How much is this job paying?"
"Well, I'll be paying you 50,60."
"And how much are you getting?"
"Enough." A small grumble from the Gnoll. "It's up to you if you want to take it, or go back to the board. But not many jobs lately are for helping people. Considering how picky you are."
"I'm..." He glanced away for a moment, while a hint of sadness shone in his eyes. "We shouldn't have to hurt people to survive..."
"That motto of yours would've been the death of you a long time ago, if it wasn't for that ring." Tobyas whispered to him quite harshly. "You have an amazing gift, but you won't use it to make yourself happy." She snorted.
"I'll take the job, providing we do it without hurting anyone."
"There shouldn't be anyone alive. Maybe a few restless spirits around, but."
The Gnoll shuttered. "I never liked the undead."
"And the undead never liked you. So you're an instant aggro magnet. Making my job much easier." She smiled. "I'll be waiting at the gate for you at sundown."
"Sundown? It's bad enough we're robbing the dead, but do we have to do it at night too?"
"Would you rather do it right now? I heard you've been up all night." He sighed and shook his head. "Tonight it is. Bring something blunt." And Tobyas walked off, just in time for the Gnoll's food to arrive.
"Got another job, did you?" Rosie asked him.
"Yeah. I guess I shouldn't be complaining." Kassel took a bite out of his meal, and let out a low murr. "Want some?"
"I really shouldn't. I'm fine, but..."
"But?"
"There's been a few pups lately that have been asking for some food. Perhaps...?" He nodded at her, picking up his plates while Rosie pointed to a back table where several children have been sitting.
After finding a comfortable tarp to sleep on, Kassel slept through most of the day and afternoon. Only to be awaken by said 'Ominous Voice' and slightly grumbled a bit before trying to go back to sleep. Seriously Kass, get up. People are waiting.
"Meh... What time is it?"
About an hour before you meet up with Tobyas.
After a few more grumbles, the Gnoll got awake. He made his way up on the walls that made the Citadel. Although the city was big, it was more just a very large settlement. People with nowhere to go often came to the large walled Slum to attempt to find work or provide services to others. Though Elbarenluv has been called the City of Thieves for a long time, the people who live in it have nothing to steal.
As dusk began to set in, Kassel refilled his water bottle with fresh water by the harbor, and sat in wait by the Gate. It's nice to have a breather and not worry about money for the time being.
"Yes. It is."
So, care to explain what Tobyas meant by 'Invincible'?
The Gnoll sighed quietly, and looked up once again. Then shook his head with a smile. "Have you ever heard of Oddin?"
Yes. He was the last human 'King' from centuries ago. Supposedly he was a good man.
"Well, he had several pieces of Jewelery that was named after him. Two rings, an amulet, two earrings, and a belt. I... Found one ring, and well..."
It made you basically indesctructable, despite how humiliating it sounds. Kassel let out a chuckle.
"Yes, it does sound... Odd. But I can't say I'd be alive right now without it."
What I find Odd is that you're not wearing a ring...
"No... I'm not."
"Who are you talking to?" Tobyas asked, sneaking up on the Gnoll and causing him to scamper slightly.
"N-no one. When did you get here?"
"A few minutes ago. Why were you talking about Oddin's Jewelery? You really shouldn't be saying things like that out loud."
"It's a long story, Tobyas." Kassel said, using the same excuse once again.
"Fine. But we better get moving. Those undead are not going to kill themselves." The Gnoll's head tilted at the strange figure of speech, but climbed down regardless. "Where's your mace?"
"Mace?"
"Yeah, I told you to bring something blunt." She motioned her hammer on her back, along with her greatsword. "Don't you remember the old saying?"
"You can cut the flesh, but you must crush the bone." He mumbled. "I'll be fine." And the Dragonite tossed her snout at him.
"You're always fine." She teased him.
You can continue the story elsewhere, just ctrl+F "Chapter 2" and it should take you right to it
The links once again:
FurAffinity (rtf file) - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/13970164/
SoFurry (No download required, some formatting) - https://www.sofurry.com/view/731805
Weasyl (pdf download, best read) - https://www.weasyl.com/~bartan/subm.....urface-tension
Inkbunny (rtf file + some story, little formatting) - https://inkbunny.net/s/1449833
Thanks for making it this far
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Hyena
Size 571 x 1062px
File Size 186.9 kB
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