Yo.

Its been a long while. So because i may be a bit of chicken shit, who had to fix a lot of things!


hahhahaha! Well more or less I burned myself out, had a bit of mental break, went through months of finding medication before I finally found something that made life bearable. So after much grappling with my life, and everything, and just over whelming myself like a dumbbell, I just straight couldn't. Not a very good excuse, don't get me wrong, if anyone has any ire against me, im sure its well deserved! :DD So feel free, punch me! Hhahah!


But One can't hide away from things forever, especially when they just want to move on a bit. So, i didn't rob anyone blind... well sort of, I returned any money that I didn't finish cause duh! It took a while, cause I was so fricken scared that people would be mad, which was dumb and not helpful in the grand scheme! I would even have nightmares about it.... just a paypal screen and some text! Like wtf, you think I would take the hint!


Dead ass, Ive missed some of the people that talked to me on the occasion, hahah, we might not know each other well but its fun. I hope everyone is doing well, Ive learned lots of things myself, I have things to steady myself, and have found a new love for drawing and writing, that I won't lie it fucking died! But once Again I have picked up the YEEOLD TABLET AND PEN and made master peices as you can imagine! For about a year and half i could really only mange to draw a sketch or two, but i could never bear to finish anything.


I have finally found something that works, the good old expensive drugs in pretty orange bottles! And its better than it ever has been over the course of my life, which is sobering to say the least, it all feels very wasted, but you can't live life regretting what you can't change!


Sadly over this time, my dog Sadie, Satan, that bitch, as I so lovingly called her, ended to have to be put down,.. SHE TRIED TO DIE ON MY BRITHDAY! What a jerk! But really I expected nothing less from her, that was such her angle in life. She lived hot and fast as I chased her down in my moms car at 5 am, and she is a black dog and its dark out.... Fucking loved that dog! She made it to 10, almost 11, it her brithday was May 16, she passed april 13. RIP YOU RAGING DISASTER OF DOG!


And because life is funny, and it just never stoppedss, my dear horse Zander, had also ended up having to be put down. And well, that one sucked so much asssss, he was only 7, and if you know anything about horses thats incredibly young. He ended getting Potomac fever (I call it snail disease) and then cause this horse had less luck then I, he got laminitis, and it didn't get better! So, my sweeet boy sadly left this world without ever getting a chance. And let me tell you that horse got fucked by life, he pulled his back leg when he was 2months old, he had a crimped nut so it had to get surgically removed, he pulled his leg again at 2 years old, he was hella uneven and his ass was much taller than his withers, he had scar tissue in his spine, we were all pretty sure he was a bit different than other horses (everyone told me it came from me) but sweetest boi, he didn't deserve the shit lot in life he got. But ehhhh, i suppose thats how it goes. If reincarnation real, he better get the best LIFE! ~...~


These two went two months apart, so like my childhood just kinda died with them for a bit, which didn't help,, my hamster also died, it was cursed year, I wanna cry but its so funny at the same time. Life wasn't cutting any corners....hahah.


I Did aacure another creature tho, her name is Honeybee, and she is an ugly shelter dog that I love with my whole heart. She fucking god ugly tho, but like cute? My friend and I, say she can't be judged by normal dog standers, cause as a dog she is ugly, as a thing she is cute! She is so weird, i don't even know, there has to be bugs in her head.


My other dog, Lulu, Booboo, boob, as I so lovingly call her, is still alive and stressed, as always! She is still her child hating, food aggressive self, besides some extra white hairs, she pretty ok! Getting old, but I hope she chooes to stay for a while longer, can't lose no more of my childhood pets, cause she is the last one left! I expect no less from her!


Thats about all, I think? Ahhh, my friend got a degree, thaats pretty cool, my other friend got anit depressants, thats pretty cool to!


Well I think my long winded self is done? Maybe? But I have learned about the art, of one step at a time! HAHhhh, slow but steady! I don't feel like life is such a rush, just sit back and take it one moment at a time! WOOOOOOO


iF YOU READ THIS FAR GOD DAMN, thanks.