A funny idea came to my mind: What if Avila worked as a tester for bear-proof camping containers?

The result is this sequence, and a short story to accompany it.
___

“Okay Avila, next stress test is for a CEI Alpine Heavy Duty cooler.” a monotone voice droned over the intercom, “their latest design.”

“Latest version, huh?” The grizzly bear crossed her arms staring at the blurry figure in the one-way glass above, “Let’s see if they’ve made any improvements since the last one.” Avila paced across the barren testing room, stepping past a handful of camping chests, storage boxes, and drink coolers. All of these containers had been destroyed. Some were flattened, others were utterly rendered into scrap. Reaching the end of the chamber, Avila stops and waits at the end of a dormant conveyor belt.

“Sending in the cooler,” the voice announced, “you know what to do.” The conveyor wheels squeak as the machine churns to life. Avila watched the conveyor flap, waiting for the specimen to push it aside and enter her reach. Moments later, the rubber hatch lifted to reveal a camping cooler. It was 1.5 x 3 x 2 feet in dimensions, its base was dark army green in color, and it had an olive green lid with a narrow opening latch.

Avila studied the box as it rode the conveyor. It appeared to be entirely of plastic, which wouldn’t make it very durable despite being labeled as “heavy duty.” To her surprise, however, the box reached the end of the conveyor and fell to the floor with a heavy thud. Perhaps it was tougher than it looked. Of course, she’d be the real judge of the vessel’s strength.

After surveying the plastic container, Avila dragged it to an empty corner of the room, then positioned herself right over it. The voice on the intercom instructed Avila to begin her test. The grizzly bear bent her knees and slowly lowered her rear onto the container. Once her hindquarters rested atop the box, she sat back and placed more of her weight on the cooler.

CREEEAAAK

The plastic bin complained as Avila set her weight on its lid. As she eased more and more of her mass on the cooler, its sides began to bow outwards with the accompaniment of . “It’s holding up,” Avila said as she lifted up a legs and leaned even more weight onto it, “Definitely reinforced pla-”

POP

One of the box’s sides caved in, catching the brown bear by surprise. “Woah,” she stammered with a grin, “But definitely not strong enough.” After another strained groan from the box, the compromised side split open with a sharp crack, then the cooler lurched. Avila began to lose her balance, so she lifted her other leg...

CRK-K

The lid collapsed inwards under the bear’s bottom, then, the outer walls of the cooler started to buckle. With only the brittle inner walls supporting the container, Avila shut her eyes and prepared for its imminent collapse.

CREAK-K-KK
CRACK– BANG
CRUNCH

The cooler lasted mere seconds before its interior walls snapped apart. The more malleable plastic of the outer walls flattened while the interior panels ruptured. The entire cooler crumpled to the floor. Avila’s weight, coupled with gravity, flattened most of the box against the cold hard floor.

“Test failed,” the observer commented over the intercom, “Alpine Heavy Duty is not crush resistant.”

“Crush resistant,” Avila chuckled, “More like… Keister crushable!”

“Hmm... On to our next test, Avila.”


Art and character:  Kyburz