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"I'm now on the plane, sitting in my small chair, my bags stowed above me, my belt fastened and an airline brand blanket on my lap. I'm forced to vacate from this place - being shoved into a crowded space with nothing but a window next to me, showing me a view of what I wont be able to come back to. My life on the opposite side of the ocean calls to me. I have to return to the real world: cruel and unpleasant. I have bills I need to pay, doctor appointments I need to go to, classes I can't miss. Its an unbreakable chain that Im strapped to.
The night is cold; the plastic plane window emanates a cold chill next to me. Even with my sweater on and a blanket covering me, I still shiver. The passengers around me talk in tongues and push their way to get to their seat, causing my seat to wobble as they push against my chair and arm rest. I look outside, seeing the flickering lights of the track and the airport. I see a blurry reflection of myself through the glass: looking alone, cold and lost of motivation to smile.
Saying "good-bye" to you at the terminal made my heart shatter. I never wish to say anything like that to you. That look in your eyes made it harder for me to release you from my hug, giving me second thoughts to miss my plane and throw my life away just to stay. I know that I will see you again, but I don't know when. All I can do is pray that I will see you shortly instead of waiting a full year again, counting the endless days until I will hug you once again.
The plane starts. The engine roars. The plane lifts form the runway. I'm "forced" to watch as I go higher into the air. I see the city below me, the lit night time highways that stretch out forever. I imagine your car, rolling down one of those streets. How I wish I was still in that car with you, driving away from the airport back to your house; to just jump out right now and wrap my arms around you. I think of how you must feel right now, driving alone along the dark highway, returning home with a sad look on your face. I worry about you, remembering those sad eyes you showed me before we parted ways. I hope you hear my thoughts, telling you to be safe.
I hug the gift you gave me as I fly farther away from paradise and you. The gift smells so much like you. Its a fragrance that no one else can replace. Soon, the city lights vanish as thick blankets of clouds cover the sky. Now all I see is my cold reflection, my eyes still looking down, hoping to see something form the land below. Nothing... like a dreamland that slowly disappeared from existence, never to show again. I sit still, sadly embracing the long 8 hour flight back home where I know I will feel sadness and loneliness, where my bed will be empty and too big for one person to use. My life is not the same without you by my side.
I breathe on the window, fogging it up. I write a word on it with my finger: something that you called me when we were holding hands at your house. Something that bonded us closer to each other every moment we were together. I deeply wish to hear that from your lips once more..."
"Beloved"
Sky High Good-Bye © 2010 Alex Cockburn
The night is cold; the plastic plane window emanates a cold chill next to me. Even with my sweater on and a blanket covering me, I still shiver. The passengers around me talk in tongues and push their way to get to their seat, causing my seat to wobble as they push against my chair and arm rest. I look outside, seeing the flickering lights of the track and the airport. I see a blurry reflection of myself through the glass: looking alone, cold and lost of motivation to smile.
Saying "good-bye" to you at the terminal made my heart shatter. I never wish to say anything like that to you. That look in your eyes made it harder for me to release you from my hug, giving me second thoughts to miss my plane and throw my life away just to stay. I know that I will see you again, but I don't know when. All I can do is pray that I will see you shortly instead of waiting a full year again, counting the endless days until I will hug you once again.
The plane starts. The engine roars. The plane lifts form the runway. I'm "forced" to watch as I go higher into the air. I see the city below me, the lit night time highways that stretch out forever. I imagine your car, rolling down one of those streets. How I wish I was still in that car with you, driving away from the airport back to your house; to just jump out right now and wrap my arms around you. I think of how you must feel right now, driving alone along the dark highway, returning home with a sad look on your face. I worry about you, remembering those sad eyes you showed me before we parted ways. I hope you hear my thoughts, telling you to be safe.
I hug the gift you gave me as I fly farther away from paradise and you. The gift smells so much like you. Its a fragrance that no one else can replace. Soon, the city lights vanish as thick blankets of clouds cover the sky. Now all I see is my cold reflection, my eyes still looking down, hoping to see something form the land below. Nothing... like a dreamland that slowly disappeared from existence, never to show again. I sit still, sadly embracing the long 8 hour flight back home where I know I will feel sadness and loneliness, where my bed will be empty and too big for one person to use. My life is not the same without you by my side.
I breathe on the window, fogging it up. I write a word on it with my finger: something that you called me when we were holding hands at your house. Something that bonded us closer to each other every moment we were together. I deeply wish to hear that from your lips once more..."
"Beloved"
Sky High Good-Bye © 2010 Alex Cockburn
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 615 x 812px
File Size 292.9 kB
Listed in Folders
This piece makes me wonder how my life would have been different if I had chosen to make a certain transatlantic trip a few years ago, to visit someone I loved. I decided not to, in the end, which contributed to the breakup. It's not that I'm unhappy about where I am now... but I might not have endured the same suffering that I went through in subsequent years.
Or I might have done anyway. Said suffering was the result of my own thoughtlessness.
What-ifs are a little like probing the socket of a lost tooth, like phantom sensations. You're not entirely sure how to characterize the feeling, but it's not a wonderfully happy one.
Or I might have done anyway. Said suffering was the result of my own thoughtlessness.
What-ifs are a little like probing the socket of a lost tooth, like phantom sensations. You're not entirely sure how to characterize the feeling, but it's not a wonderfully happy one.
Aww...
Somehow, I avoided this feeling despite being in a long-distance relationship for three and a half years. We didn't meet in the flesh during those three and a half years (we were too young to afford it) and just spent our savings on one trip, where I flew to a distant place and we flew back together.
I do know the feeling of waiting, far from one's beloved. Best of luck to ya.
Somehow, I avoided this feeling despite being in a long-distance relationship for three and a half years. We didn't meet in the flesh during those three and a half years (we were too young to afford it) and just spent our savings on one trip, where I flew to a distant place and we flew back together.
I do know the feeling of waiting, far from one's beloved. Best of luck to ya.
Something I've been meaning to say.. and I don't write here when I should.. I really like your art. It's great.. but it's usually your stories that sell me on a piece, and keep both words and image in my mind and heart long after the image itself is gone from my sight. Just had to say that..
This is the sad truth of a long distance relationship. I should know because I have had a couple. It sucks the most special person in your life is states away or an ocean away.
I can tell you straight up I wish some of those countries could be here in Texas where I live but I know it's only German influence or some kind of european influence here only.
I know I can never live with a person who is an ocean away because it would nearly be impossible to fly back and forth all the time.
Long distance hurts more then it gives pleasure because the person could do anything they want once your gone. I should know that too because one of my first true loves married a man and had a kid with him at 18 so I guess I was lucky in a sense.
But then there is the ocean away one which is the hardest. Even though I have their picture that's about all I'm going to get because an ocean away is much harder to keep a relationship going.
While I know the ocean relationship won't happen at least I have his picture by my bed to remind me good people are outhere beyond these walls of my house, I just have to accept it and go after a person I know I can keep a stable relationship with here where I live or somewhere else in the state or a state over.
Thanks a lot for posting this because long distance is not a simple way to have a relationship.
I can tell you straight up I wish some of those countries could be here in Texas where I live but I know it's only German influence or some kind of european influence here only.
I know I can never live with a person who is an ocean away because it would nearly be impossible to fly back and forth all the time.
Long distance hurts more then it gives pleasure because the person could do anything they want once your gone. I should know that too because one of my first true loves married a man and had a kid with him at 18 so I guess I was lucky in a sense.
But then there is the ocean away one which is the hardest. Even though I have their picture that's about all I'm going to get because an ocean away is much harder to keep a relationship going.
While I know the ocean relationship won't happen at least I have his picture by my bed to remind me good people are outhere beyond these walls of my house, I just have to accept it and go after a person I know I can keep a stable relationship with here where I live or somewhere else in the state or a state over.
Thanks a lot for posting this because long distance is not a simple way to have a relationship.
oh my god.. this speaks to me so much..
I flew out to spend 3 weeks in the states, visiting my wonderful boyfriend (im from london) .. it was the most perfect time, but leaving was just heart breaking. everything youve wrote about is exactly what was going through my mind, and how i felt..
I got back to england 6 days ago, and i still miss him terribly, i would of done anything to stay over there with him T_T
But .. to all you people doing the long distance thing! Its sooo worth it... spending that time with my man was the best ever, and i cant wait to do it again! Never let a couple thousand miles stand between you and your soulmate :)))))
I flew out to spend 3 weeks in the states, visiting my wonderful boyfriend (im from london) .. it was the most perfect time, but leaving was just heart breaking. everything youve wrote about is exactly what was going through my mind, and how i felt..
I got back to england 6 days ago, and i still miss him terribly, i would of done anything to stay over there with him T_T
But .. to all you people doing the long distance thing! Its sooo worth it... spending that time with my man was the best ever, and i cant wait to do it again! Never let a couple thousand miles stand between you and your soulmate :)))))
Pardon a very late reply to this wonderful piece. I certainly can understand the emotions in it. Yet at the same time, my mind locked in on some old lyrics from a well-loved song:
"Moonrise and thoughtful eyes, staring back at me from the window beside,
No fright, or hindsight, leaving behind that empty feeling inside.
Fly by night away from here, change my life again,
Fly by night, good-bye my dear! Ship isn't coming and I just can't pretend."
-- Rush, "Fly By Night", off the album of the same name, © 1975 Rush
Perhaps this song might offset the pain that I can feel from a relationship shattered by distance.
"Moonrise and thoughtful eyes, staring back at me from the window beside,
No fright, or hindsight, leaving behind that empty feeling inside.
Fly by night away from here, change my life again,
Fly by night, good-bye my dear! Ship isn't coming and I just can't pretend."
-- Rush, "Fly By Night", off the album of the same name, © 1975 Rush
Perhaps this song might offset the pain that I can feel from a relationship shattered by distance.
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