Family Matters
© 2022 by M. Mitch Marmel

Thumbnail art by  tegerio, color by  marmelmm


Part Two.


Ooo-er:

(Translated from Wetspeak)

After ‘Missy’ had taken our daughter into the Gate, I came to a decision that I needed to talk with someone. And by ‘someone,’ I didn’t mean any of the dryfooters here in Elfhame. Wetspeak is far too nuanced for them to understand, and there were concepts and thoughts that I couldn’t express in any way other than underwater.

I needed to have a talk with my father.

I hear you saying, “Wait a moment, Elf-Mind can’t reach that far.” And it can’t – at least, if you’re a dryfooter; when you live in the deep waters of the Great Sea, communications over very long distances are essential.

So, I went to the pond where ‘Missy’ and I had our last picnic – that is, before a Gap sent my mate and a certain feline to Eastness – took off my pearls and slipped into the water. Apart from a few frogs, I was alone. After swimming for a few moments to get into the proper frame of mind, I took a breath, took another breath, and went completely underwater while I took a perfectly round diamond from my Elfintory.

I just hung there in the water, eyes fixed on the gem, gently calling out, and after several minutes I heard him respond. Faintly at first, but as we talked, his voice grew louder and clearer.

“Is that you, (______), my little Starlight?” he asked, using my full name in Wetspeak and my nickname. My name in Standard? Well, otters have two names; one they’re given when they’re children, and another when they reach adulthood. In Standard, my child-name was Starlight-sparkling-on-seafoam; my adult name is Starlight-gleaming-on-her-breasts.

Yeah, I know.

“It is I, Father. I have to talk to you.”

I could sense him frowning as I tipped my head back, took a breath, and heard him say, “What’s wrong, my Starlight?”

So I told him. I told him about everything that had happened, about my mate and my trip to Eastness; about my tryst with a very nice otter mel there, and about how the dryfooters had discovered that I knew and spoke Standard Elvish.

In my defense, I was sorely provoked.

When I was finished, I felt the mental equivalent of a close, warm hug.

“Are you angry with me, Father?”

“Angry with you, my Starlight? I’m furious with you, like a shark who scents blood, but my love for you, Daughter, urges me to forgive,” he said with a sigh. “Mistakes happen. I am glad that you have reported. Where is your mate now?”

“She has returned to Eastness with Aedith.”

“Aedith?” I reminded him of ‘Missy’s’ adopted daughter (my daughter as well, now, I think), and he smacked his forehead with his paw. “Seas and storms, I had forgotten. Memory like a sponge. Will she return?”

“She told me that she will.”

“That is well. Are you two going to make up?”

“I know that I will try, Father.”

“That’s all that can be done, my Starlight.” There was a pause, and our connection seemed to get a little muddy. “I must go. Be well and be loved, my daughter.”

“Be well, and be loved, Father.”

By this time my lungs were aching for air, and I rose to the surface and took several breaths to clear my head and think.


***


Anastasia:

It had already been a long morning.

My breakfast at the Annexe was, thankfully, almost over when Nippy informed me that there was a deputation of the [Eldest] at the door, asking for me.

And not taking “No” for an answer.

Despite my position as [First-of-Eldest], I put on my best Statecraft face and welcomed the deputation, and after we had all been seated comfortably, I asked politely what the problem might be.

In reply, I was presented with a bill for materials and repairs to Mrs. Reed’s thatched roof, along with a lengthy disquisition by the eldest of the [Eldest] regarding the nocturnal activities of the Raccoon Queen, formerly my mate’s maid Tessie Ring.

It transpired that her running around at night, along with climbing over fences and leaping from roof to roof, was keeping people awake. Since the vast majority of Elfhamians are farmers and artisans, loss of sleep can mean loss of revenue. Worse, it could cause a drop in quality.

And that was the main point. Elfhame prides itself on its industries, which keep the Tithe Barn filled with toys, the greedy maws of the Royal Skunks stuffed with persimmon jam, and enables Westersloe to generate income from sales of our persimmon brandy. So this was serious business.

As a side issue, the topic of a suitable mate for Sixth was certain to come up. Of course, he would acknowledge his child by Tessie. I tried very hard not to imagine what a roebuck-raccoon hybrid might look like. Dotto had been born a tod-fox, and looked fairly normal apart from the fawn-spots visible amid his dark baby fur. While Sixth would marry Tessie, his status both as my son and the possible next Master of Elfhame demanded that he marry a roe-doe.

Thinking about these topics as each of the [Eldest] raised them also reminded me of something.

Westersloe had told me that, during their trip to Eastness, Tessie revealed that she spoke a little Elfhamian, but with a terrible accent and very poor choice of words.

[‘Thirst of Smelliest’], indeed.

These three thoughts played chase-around in my head as I sipped my tea. I lowered the cup, nodded at what Mrs. Fletcher was saying to one of the junior does, and brought the cup to my lips again.

And froze.

Somewhere between lowering the cup, listening, and bringing the cup back up, the three thoughts had decided to come together and dance, not unlike the Ashearth Sisters.

In fact, I might be forgiven for calling it a Cunning Plan.

[Note appended to manuscript: “A plan so cunning you could put ears on it and call it a weasel?”]

[Note appended to manuscript: “What? What are you talking about?”]

[Note appended to manuscript: “Never mind, Your Highness. Please continue.”]

I gently cleared my throat to get the attention of the other does, and began to tell them the plan that I had in mind.

I took another sip of my tea as I awaited their response.


***


Tessie:

I don’t think I can keep this up much longer.

I hurt in spots I didn’t know I had, and that’s even after the Master and I –

[Note appended to manuscript: “No one wants to hear that, Tessie.”]

[Note appended to manuscript: “There might be some, Master.”]

[Note appended to manuscript: “Please?”]

[Note appended to manuscript: “Oh, all right. Spoilsport.”]

“Regalia,” I asked, “can we please take a break? I hurt all over, and I’m hungry.”

“Look, hun,” and I felt the earring in my right ear tingle, “you’re hurting because you’re getting in shape to fight, to be worthy of bearing me. And you’re not eating so much because you need to lose some weight.”

“But can we please stop running around in the middle of the night? People have been complaining, and after I fell through that roof – “

“If you weighed less, you would have landed on that roof and scampered away,” the Regalia said.

“Grr . . . “

The earring suddenly stung me. “Ow!”

“I know what I’m doing, my girl, and you be a good kit and follow along.”

“I’ll bet you never treated the W – Missy like this.”

“I didn’t need to. The wolfess was already in shape, and readily accepted her mission when I chose her to bear me.”

I groaned. I wish I never thought of stealing her Regalia.

“Hindsight’s the clearest sight of all,” the Regalia said softly, “and everyone has to live with the consequences of their actions. Now, if we’re done – “

“I’m tired, too. It took time to get me out of that roof. Please, can I sleep a little longer?”

“No.”

“Fuma’s Whiskers, you’re as bad as my mother.”

I could ‘hear’ the enchanted armor chuckle. “M’girl, I’m actually going easy on you. If I had to, you’d feel like half the demons in the Netherhells were nipping at your heels. Still, I did keep you up for most of the night, so I’ll give you a few more hours.”

I rolled over in my bed and pulled the thin blanket over me. Moving me into the ant-barn’s loft had been Princess Anastasia’s idea after my exercising one night had cost her a night’s sleep. It was drafty, but at least the roof didn’t leak.

I just hoped, before I drifted off, that Missy would come back.




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