A vulture hunting for prey comes across a dim-witted opossum...and gets a little more food than he bargained for. First in an RP series with my friend Jaded (who plays Vincent the vulture) off discord.

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It was a hot, humid day out in the wooded areas in a rural state. In these woods lived a opossum called Clyde, who was always on the prowl for good garbage. He was in good with the raccoons and the skunks, such as his friend Rusty, and knew where to go for delicious human junk. He preferred the good ol' backwoods, though, and was found of eating whatever he could scavenge that other animals might turn their noses up at. Today, he was making a special stew using a bucket and a campfire pit he managed to finagle into working. In the bucket is...an indescribable slop of various roadkill, mushrooms, berries and whatever else he thought might be edible.

"Phew! Smells pretty good, Clyde!" he said to himself. Most knew him as a bit loopy and not too bright. The gray marsupial kept mostly to himself, which most in the woods knew made him a target for bigger, nastier creatures that lurked around. He, of course, didn't care and figured things would always work out for the best.

While the opossum was doing his business, another figure was watching from afar in the shadows of the trees. A vulture by the name of Vincent was, like the marsupial, seeking a good meal for the day. He was one of the more experienced hunters in his group, and preferred to spend his time alone, though he was still well-respected by peers. The tall bird sat stalking behind thick branches, out of sight. He had black feathers, and a dark chestnut belly, a pair sharp talons, and a featherless head with a long, sharp beak. The bird smirked, he knew he was due for a good meal as he stepped onto a further branch, eyeing his prey. He spread his wings and dropped down to the ground as silently as he could, landing a few feet away behind the mammal. Vincent snickered to himself, simply swooping down from the tree and taking him out would be too easy, so he opted for a surprise attack. Right as the tall avian was standing over the opossum, however, a branch snapped beneath his weight loudly, leaving his frozen for a few moments.

Clyde was completely oblivious to the vulture stalking him, whistling completely out of tune while he gathered up more random stuff on the ground. "Ooh, earthworms, them's good eatin'!" he declared. He froze when he heard the branch snap....and shrugged. "Musta been the wind!" he said, turning around with his eyes closed...and bumping right into the vulture's chest. The gray and white furred possum fell back onto his bum, rubbing his head then looking up at the vulture looming before him. "...howdy mister!" he greeted in a scratchy voice. "Sorry I bumped into ya!"

The vulture initially expected the opossum to go darting into the bushes once he caught eye of him. Yet Vincent tilted his head in confusion to the casual response given by his prey. Was he actually this oblivious to predators? The bird step back and cleared his throat, lowering his gaze to the marsupial. "What are you talking about, morsel, Haven't you've seen a threat before?" Vincent chuckled. His voice was deep, and obviously in an attempt to intimidate. "I've feasted on hundreds of your friends and family members, and you'd make no exception for a good meal either!" The vulture approached him and pressed him to the ground a talon with ease.

Clyde gets pinned to the ground by the vulture's talon, the feathery fiend looks like he's gotten the possum easily...but Clyde smiles. "That's funny, I been to a lotta family dinners but I ain't seen you around before!" His brain processes what else the vulture is saying, but only looks confused. "Wait a sec...you ain't talkin' about...eatin' ME, are ya?" he asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion. "By the way...your breath STINKS, mister!"

Vincent rolled his eyes at the clueless opossums remarks. "Ugh, enough!" He squawked angrily. "Why aren't you afraid, stupid mammal? I'm gonna tear you open and feast on your innards piece by piece, so enjoy taking your last breaths while you still can!" He threw his head back and laughed maniacally, extending his wings in front of the opossum. As he was doing so, however, a loud, abrupt fart erupted from his rear, causing his tail feathers to lift. Vincent's face turned quickly to shock at the unexpected flatus; he wasn't sure what to say.

"...uh oh," Clyde said, ears lowering. He was starting to think that this vulture didn't have good intentions! But then, the vulture passed gas, and Clyde snickered a little. He used the opportunity to push the bird's foot off him and get to his feet. "Sounds like somethin' slipped out there, big fella!" he said, grinning like a complete dolt. "Pa always said that was just the body makin' room for more...wait a sec." He sat on his haunches and rubbed his long snout. "...you must be starving! Aw, great! You can join me for dinner, follow me!" With the vulture's intimidation lost, Clyde reaches out to grab the vulture by the beak and drag him with him towards the site of the stew. "Ooh, yer gonna love this!"

Vincent stuttered. "I- I- What?" The bird was embarrassed, yet grew angry with how little the opossum was taking him seriously as he slipped from his grasp. "I'll have you know I take no treatment by such an inferior prey like y-" before he could finish, Clyde grabbed him by his beak and yanked him towards the stew. It surprised the vulture by how comfortable the opossum was. Vincent shook himself away from the marsupial and stared into the odd melange of foods in the bucket "... what on earth is this? Do you expect me to eat something your grubby little hands ravaged through?" He protested, a bit too confused to eat the opossum right away.

Clyde, however, was much too happy to have a dinner guest to pay much attention to the vulture's indignant outrage. "I know what yer thinkin: how can a 'possum make anything worth eatin'? Well fella, you are looking a certified gorm-aye." The opossum does not look like anything of the sort. Before Vincent can say anything else, Clyde grabs a wooden spoon he also stole from a human campsite, dipped it in the concoction, and shoved it into the vulture's mouth. "Here, try it!"

Vincent grunted. "Ugh... waste of my time." He said under his breath. He turned to the opossum and opened his beak, seeking to end this encounter once and for all. Right as the avian moved in to close his maw around Clyde, he was instead met with a mouthful of fresh stew. Vincent's eyes widened as the spoon was shoved forcefully into his beak, causing him to swallow it down. The taste was... something else, to say the least. Thankfully, the vulture had eaten so many kills in his time that it wasn't unbearable, even if it was cooked by a dull opossum. "Echh! What the-" he exclaimed, squinting his eyes and sticking out his tongue. "Stupid varmint, what did you just feed me!"

"Weeeelllll," Clyde said, his tongue sticking out as he thought carefully. "I call it 'Clyde's Everything Stew', on account of me throwin' everything I could find in it. Dead critters, mushrooms, some human food, uhhhhh berries for sure. Grass...tree bark cuz you need fiber. All the food groups!" He seemed very, very proud of his blasphemous concoction. "Cookings easier than I thought, heheh!" He took another spoonful and waited for an opportunity to shove more into the vulture's maw. Whether he was aware the vulture was trying to eat him or not, it wasn't clear. But the battle was on!

The vulture squinted and shook his head. He almost wished he hadn't heard the list of ingredients before the next spoonful was quickly shoved into his mouth. The bird grew frustrated, not just because was he unable to get an approach on his prey, but the opossum seemed to be enjoying himself with the big vulture as company. Although, even though he didn't want to admit it, the stew was quite filling as he took some more gulps. In a matter of only a few more spoonfuls, however, Vincent was already feeling a disturbance in his gut. "Rrrgh... you mammals are all tasteless." He squinted as a series of rumbles emitted from his feathery belly.

"Now that ain't fair, Mr. Buzzard. We mammals have an appreciation for all kindsa stuff! It's you birds that are missin' out. You ain't got no teeth for one thing!" He tasted his own brew and smacked his lips in satisfaction. "Mmm-mm! That came out perfect if I do say so myself!" He prepared another spoonful to forcefeed the vulture with. This stew was not, to make a long story short, quite fit for consumption. "Sorry your fancy speech was interrupted by your butt. You eat some bad carrion this morning?"

Vincent sighed at Clyde's remarks. "Tch, no I didn't... well, not that much." The vulture admitted before taking a few more spoonfuls. At this point, the stew was already making quick work in his body, and it was only amplified by his meal earlier that day. The big bird grimaced before another lengthy, brassy fart sputtered out of his system, polluting the air behind him. Vincent did a big sigh and tried to hide a blush that grew on his face. "Do ALL you mammals have to make meals like this?" He groaned.

"Nope, just me!" Clyde said with dopey pride. He caught a whiff of the vulture's flatulence and fanned his nose. "PHEW! That stinks worse than your breath! Surprised you didn't lose a tail feather with that toot!" he said, laughing. If Vincent wanted to try and regain his dominance, he would have his work cut out for him. The spoonfuls kept coming as the possum was determined to make sure his dinner guest ate his fill, shoving another at the vulture. "Poor thing, you must be starvin'...don't worry, I'm gonna make sure you eat your fill!"

Vincent grumbled. "For the last time, I'm not-" before he could finished, several more spoonfuls were pushed to the back of his throat. He choked them all down and gasped. The buzzard would have to be more careful every time he opened his mouth; the opossum was more relentless than he thought! At this point, he slumped down and laid on his side, his belly was already growing fuller and heavier with how much he was eating, and there wasn't much he could do to stop it. The avian's stomach did a series of loud rumbles before another fart shot from the bird's system, causing him to pull his legs back and lift his tail high. Vincent already felt like a laughing stock, in all his days, he'd never been put into submission by such a simple prey. The scent of his most recent release already seemed stronger than the last. "Ugh... I- I don't think my body is agreeing with your 'cooking'" Vincent mumbled, putting a wing to his stomach.

"Phew-wee, you're telling me!" Clyde said, fanning even more intensely now. "But that's just a sign you love it so much!" He grinned. He fed the vulture again and again, occasionally taking some bites himself, but mostly seemingly content with stuffing his dinner guest. "Besides, the more you eat of this stuff, the less you'll wanna eat me!" he declared. There was a mischievous glint in his eye; perhaps he was not as dumb as bricks as he seemed.

After gulping down a few more bites, Vincent caught onto this. He grew angrier now knowing he was actually right where Clyde wanted him to be. "You... little runt!-" The large bird strained and made an attempt to crawl and stagger his way to the opossum. He could hardly eat any more, but as long as he killed that marsupial, the ordeal would be over with. However, the vulture was met with more pains from his midsection which stopped him in his tracks. Only a few seconds later, several short and particularly foul bursts of gas flew out behind him, causing Vincent to fall to the ground once again. It turns out he was in less of shape to hunt than he thought. He laid on the ground and panted, his feathery belly was distended outwards like it hadn't been before.

The vile stew was about empty, and Clyde had stuffed the vulture up as much as he could. Even the scavenger's noxious farts didn't deter him, the possum pinching his nose while staying just out of reach of the predator. "Hehehehe! Wow, you musta liked my stew, you ate most of it up!" he remarked, his ratty tail whipping about. "I reckon you'll be fartin' all night and tomorrow too. Wouldn't wanna stand behind you too long, hoo-wee!" he laughed again.

The vulture groaned, trying to ignore the opossums comments. He slowly swayed himself back up to his feet, letting off a quick burp before speaking. "Y-you shut your little mouth." It was clear he had enough of the antics, and at this point, just wanted out. The buzzard gave the opossum a sour look before beating his wings and moving away for a takeoff. However, it only resulted in him not-so-elegantly stumbling forwards and landing with his face in the dirt, unable to lift off the ground. The vulture was determined and gave it another try, grunting aloud, yet only met with the same result. He sprawled himself out on the ground, exhausted, it was the first time he'd been bested in such a foolish way.

The possum watched this spectacle with quite a bit of interest; he had never seen a bird so fat he couldn't fly before. "Looks like you're packin' too much weight to take off, buzzard!" he declared with another laugh. "Hope your buddies don't see you, else you may not be livin' this one down anytime soon, heheh!" Clyde looked quite smug right now, licking the remains of the stew from his spoon and burping.

The big vulture sighed and grunted, trying to roll himself upright and get away from the scene, yet it was no use. Vincent couldn't bear to think what the rest of his colony would think of him falling into such a trap. He strained hard to get up one last time, but it only resulted in a loud, brassy fart shooting from his rear and scattering a few feathers in the process. The buzzard was left choked up on the ground, his massive belly inhibiting him from going just about anywhere.

Clyde watched the vulture struggle and only stink up the place even more. However, as satisfied as he was for getting one over on him, the possum felt a pang of pity. "Er...hey, you alright there, fella?" he asked, stepping closer to the bird. He got a stronger whiff of what Vincent was pushing out and coughed, fanning his nose.

Vincent saw the opossum approach and struggled to get off his back faster. "Ugh... G-go away, pest! Or else!" He threatened, batting his wings. Although this only caused more pressure to eject from the bird's system; longer this time too. Vincent's face was covered with blush as the scent wafted around like a cloud. His belly continued to rumble steadily. "W-what do you want, huh? Wanna point and laugh and get your family to watch too? Well go ahead!.. I hope it's worth it." Vincent snapped, sounding defeated. He didn't want to even look at the marsupial next to him.

The possum pinched his nose until Vincent finished passing wind, then twitched his ears. He backed up a little. "Hey, hey, listen fella. I only wanted to get back at ya for trying to eat me, that's all. I don't mean to torment you that much!" He reached out and patted one of the vulture's wings. "Besides, I like havin' company for dinner, that's the truth. If you agree not to try and eat me ever again, and be a NICE buzzard, then maybe I can help you get airborne again. How's that sound? Oh, and apologize o'course!"

Vincent groaned. It was humiliating enough for him to be a giant gasbag, but having to apologize simply felt too hard. He looked at the opossum, then down at his belly before sighing. "Okay fine. I'm... I'm sorry for trying to eat you. Alright? I wont do it again; it's not easy to get a decent meal around here." The vulture admitted. He tried to sooth his aching belly with his free wing. "So... how do you expect to fix me?" Vincent questioned.

"That's better!" Clyde said, smiling like a dope. But it was genuine. "As for fixin' ya....well, I ain't too smart, but it seems obvious that the more gas we get outta ya, the lighter you'll be, right? We just gotta push as much out of your feathery tailhole as we can!" he said, not one to sugarcoat his words. "With a little ol' fashioned possum mass-age knowhow, I reckon!"

The vulture raised a brow at Clyde's intentions. He didn't want some dim opossum to be messing with his body, but Vincent opted that his way was better than no way at all. "Alright... but be gentle, okay?" He muttered. The buzzard unfolded his wings, allowing the opossum to get easy access to his bloated midsection. It didn't seem to be going down, especially with how much of the stew he had previously consumed.

"Don't worry, I'm a gentle touch!" Clyde said. He proceeded to then do the opposite of this statement, running back a bit, then charging forward and leaping into the air, coming down head-first on the vulture's gut like a furry weight! "YEEHAW! Here I come!"

The vulture exhaled, trusting that the opossum would put some care into the process. Once he saw him begin to back up, however, Vincent knew it wasn't gonna be pretty. "H-hey wait, Wait, WAIT!" He yelled, but it was already too late. The opossum leapt high in the air and came smacking down into the bird's feathery gut, causing him to grunt aloud. At the same time, the force caused a huge wave of gases to shoot through Vincent's system and go flying out his colon. His tail feathers stiffened and fluttered in the wake of the gaseous blast, which sent a sound echoing through the reaches of the forest. The buzzard hadn't released so much air out of his rear at once before, as the fart went on like a prolonged whoopie cushion. He groaned as the foul thunder sputtered to a slow stop. "G-gah! Not that hard, you little rat!" The vulture squawked. "A-ah, ow... that stings!..." He tried to caress his bottom with his wing, all the while an ungodly hot stench rose up around the two of them.

Clyde sank in on the vulture's feathery belly, compressing it enough for Vincent to unleash his super fart. Clyde tumbled off to the side, shaking his head. "Oof! Man, that must be a new record in these woods. Never thought a bird could break wind like that." His fur nearly stood on end when the stench hit him. "GAH! I reckon you got the smelliest farts I've ever experienced, too! You could take down a bear! Heh, guess that's the power of my Everythin' Stew." The not-so-bright possum tried to help the vulture yet again, this time reaching to press those legs down closer to his head for a good stretch. Again, not so gently. "Almost got you light enough...but not quite."

The vulture was already groaning, trying to soothe himself from his latest release while fanning at the air with his wing. He rolled his eyes at Clyde's enthused comments. "Gee, thanks." He replied sarcastically. Although, it did feel kind of good knowing how much power he was really capable of with his rear. Vincent glanced down at his belly: it was certainly less than it was before, but not completely empty. He sighed, turning back to the opossum. "Alright, just get the rest out if you can... and how about don't kill me this time! My tailhole feels like it'll blow up..." The vulture stated, scoffing.

"Don't kill the fat farting vulture, got it!" Clyde said, without thinking. The possum wiggled his fingers and rolled his neck, as if he was preparing to play a piano. "Ahem...time fer me to play a forest tune!" he announced, then slammed his hands down on the vulture's belly to start pressing up and down on it like an instrument!

The vulture cocked his head to the side, awaiting on what antics Clyde would start now. Although he didn't expect his little hands to press down into his midsection with such force, and in turn, another wave of gas was jetted out of his dark feathery posterior. Each time the opossum pressed down on Vincent's belly, a new short fart of varying pitch would be released, almost as if he actually were playing an instrument. The buzzard winced and strained at the odd sensations, but the satisfaction of his tank getting emptied was nothing he could ignore as some more full toots sent feathers from his rear. During it vulture managed a chuckle "h-heh, that kind of tickles... you're not so bad at this!" He commented, doing his best to fan away the growing acrid stench.

The possum grinned a sharp toothed, dopey grin at Vincent. "Thanks! Your butt makes for a fine instrument...listen to it serenade the woods!" he said, pronouncing it 'sarah nayde'. When he finished he patted the vulture's belly. "There. You're gonna be passin' wind for the next day but I think you're a lot lighter than before. See if you can get airborne, big fella!"

Vincent sighed. "Huh, wow. Well I don't think I've ever passed that much wind in one sitting before." He finally rolled over and stood up; his belly was finally at a bearable size. The vulture looked back to the opossum. "...Alright, I'm sorry for almost eating you, but thanks for helping me out of this mess... just maybe go a little easy on the stew next time, yeah?." He said with a chuckle, shaking his tail feathers before lifting his leg and letting out a brief, particularly dense fart.

"You took it like a champ!" Clyde said, as the vulture got up. He watched as the vulture farted again, the smell of rotten meat once more filling the air. "I guess I oughta tweak the recipe a lil bit..." His ears then lowered as he looked at the vulture. "Y-Y'know I ain't ever had people for dinner before...even if you was tryin' to eat me. Everyone thinks I'm too dumb to be around, I ain't got many friends...I bet a big bad vulture like you has lots of 'em!"

Vincent sighed. He wasn't one to feel pity to others, let alone to such a simple prey, but it was clear that the opossum was honest. After all, it wasn't often a creature would do him a favor. "You know, for someone who doesn't think he's so bright, that was a pretty clever move of you to keep feeding me back there. You would've been my lunch if you hadn't!" He smirked. "I really wouldn't mind coming back for a meal with you sometime... I need to give that stew another proper try." The bird admitted. Part of him felt strange interacting with prey like this, but it was the least Vincent could do to make a new friend.

Clyde's eyes widened and glistened with tears of joy at the vulture's statement. "Y-You wouldn't mind???" he asked. "I'm bright???" This was the most complimentary anyone's ever been to him! The possum immediately wrapped an arm around the buzzard and hugged him tightly. "You're my new best friend!" he declared. "I'd share a meal with you anytime! Oh, I bet you and me could get lotsa good food too...you seem like the type good at thinkin'. I can be like your sidekick."

Vincent grew a smile at the opossum's overjoyed reaction, even when it got a bit carried away. The vulture winced at the sudden tight hug. "H-heh woah there, thanks- Not so tight!" He exclaimed as a loose, meaty fart was squeezed from his system. Vincent sighed and chuckled. "Ah, sorry... yeah, you know what, I wouldn't mind that. It'd be nice to get away from my nagging folks for a while too." He added.

Clyde didn't mind, in fact he seemed to like when it happened, snickering and loosening up his grip. "Sorry...I owe you a few tail feathers, looks like." He stood on his haunches and puts his paws on his hips. "Here's to my new best buddy, then! You can make the speeches and the intimidation, I can be the muscle!" he declared. "Them other critters in the woods better watch out, nyahaha!" He hoped the vulture would join him in some nefarious laughter!

Vincent heard the small opossum's attempt at a nefarious cackle. The tall vulture couldn't help but laughing at the attempt initially, but eventually got into the groove and joined in as well. "Ahahahahaha! Ahh... you crack me up, little 'possum. I wouldn't really mind a sidekick like you." He gave him a nudge with his wing, smirking. "Anyways, my colony's probably getting worried sick about me again, so I'll catch you around here sometime..." he paused. "What was your name again?"

Clyde was in awe at the vulture's more practiced laugh. "It's Clyde, big fella. Pleased to meet ya!" he said, sticking his nose up proudly.