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More from alexreynard
I do like to be serious every now and then, so here is just a few recent headlines from the daily news, highlighting the important events that shape our world.
*****
And now for today's headlines...
Tensions mount between the U.S. and China after the recent ecomonic summit where President Barack Obama accused Beijing's minister of finance of putting pee-pee in his coke.
Man sues small business owner for not having a poorly-maintained sidewalk he could trip on and file a lawsuit over.
Sarah Palin vows to take healthcare away from all Americans; receives overwhelming praise from conservative voters.
Local mother protects her children from online pornography by sealing them in airtight plastic tubes.
Man accused of jaywalking pleads insanity.
Local teen astonished that her chastity ring did not prevent her from having sex and becoming pregnant.
Oklahoma man recieves death penalty; requests roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
High school football star kills thousands in hospital bombing; coach requests probation so he can still play in tomorrow's big game.
Sarah Palin unveils her plan to begin the fourth Reich and exterminate all Jews; receives overwhelming praise from conservative voters.
The entire nation of Peru turned orange for 45 seconds last thursday.
TSA announces new plan to keep airline flights safe from terrorists by not letting pasengers get on them.
Scientists baffled by the fact that William Shatner isn't dead yet.
10-year Cambridge study on human sexuality proves conclusively that you're a faggot.
Firefighters hailed as heroes after refusing to save Ryan Seacrest from a burning building.
Trix rabbit finally eats bowl of Trix cereal; dies of rectal hemmorhaging immediately.
Local man claims that ingesting his semen can cure breast cancer.
Alabama pastor blames violent video games for the crucifixion of Jesus.
Anthropologists study lost tribe of pygmies found in Barbara Streisand's nose.
Sarah Palin visits a young girl dying of leukemia, snatches her puppy, and skins it alive in front of the child's horrified eyes; receives overwhelming praise from conservative voters.
Plus, later tonight we'll interview a prominent politician who will answer our questions with blatant, patronizing lies, and we will demonstrate our journalistic integrity by not calling him out on any of them.
Goodnight folks! Keep tuning in and we'll keep inventing ridiculous things for you to be afraid of!
*****
And now for today's headlines...
Tensions mount between the U.S. and China after the recent ecomonic summit where President Barack Obama accused Beijing's minister of finance of putting pee-pee in his coke.
Man sues small business owner for not having a poorly-maintained sidewalk he could trip on and file a lawsuit over.
Sarah Palin vows to take healthcare away from all Americans; receives overwhelming praise from conservative voters.
Local mother protects her children from online pornography by sealing them in airtight plastic tubes.
Man accused of jaywalking pleads insanity.
Local teen astonished that her chastity ring did not prevent her from having sex and becoming pregnant.
Oklahoma man recieves death penalty; requests roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
High school football star kills thousands in hospital bombing; coach requests probation so he can still play in tomorrow's big game.
Sarah Palin unveils her plan to begin the fourth Reich and exterminate all Jews; receives overwhelming praise from conservative voters.
The entire nation of Peru turned orange for 45 seconds last thursday.
TSA announces new plan to keep airline flights safe from terrorists by not letting pasengers get on them.
Scientists baffled by the fact that William Shatner isn't dead yet.
10-year Cambridge study on human sexuality proves conclusively that you're a faggot.
Firefighters hailed as heroes after refusing to save Ryan Seacrest from a burning building.
Trix rabbit finally eats bowl of Trix cereal; dies of rectal hemmorhaging immediately.
Local man claims that ingesting his semen can cure breast cancer.
Alabama pastor blames violent video games for the crucifixion of Jesus.
Anthropologists study lost tribe of pygmies found in Barbara Streisand's nose.
Sarah Palin visits a young girl dying of leukemia, snatches her puppy, and skins it alive in front of the child's horrified eyes; receives overwhelming praise from conservative voters.
Plus, later tonight we'll interview a prominent politician who will answer our questions with blatant, patronizing lies, and we will demonstrate our journalistic integrity by not calling him out on any of them.
Goodnight folks! Keep tuning in and we'll keep inventing ridiculous things for you to be afraid of!
Category Music / Miscellaneous
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 2 MB
>> TSA announces new plan to keep airline flights safe from terrorists by not letting pasengers get on them.
Take Subtle Revenge...
Take Subtle Revenge...
Might I direct your attention to 3:26 onwards in http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFelEa8wAIk for a sudden sense of irony.
Oh! Remember that big news faux pas where Sarah Palin did an interview at a slaughterhouse with turkeys being graphically slaughtered in a device reminiscent of a wood chipper in the background behind her?
Your comments reminded me of that. Actually, didn't she finally get the hell out of politics and go back to being a soccer mom?
Your comments reminded me of that. Actually, didn't she finally get the hell out of politics and go back to being a soccer mom?
Thank you alex in the last few minuts i've ben riddled to crying (local drama) sent nere insain (local drama) driven creazy (local drama) split my door in two (godam local drama and a stuck door knob wich set of most of local drama) and you bought a smile to my face and a quick gafaw.
you just re tied a few of the remaining stings of my sanaty back together.
you just re tied a few of the remaining stings of my sanaty back together.
As others have said before this, I can totally see some of this as 'honest' reporting, in actual newspapers. I'd worry about that more, if I didn't already have a very low opinion on the public in general. The Palin ones in particular, I swear, that woman(and I use the term loosely) could probably murder someone On Camera and it would just be shrugged off as something put together by the 'corrupt liberals' to smear her good name.
Mind, any newspaper that actually Did have some of these as the headlines would probably be one I'd buy, as these headlines at least seem to be more little honest than the usual.
Mind, any newspaper that actually Did have some of these as the headlines would probably be one I'd buy, as these headlines at least seem to be more little honest than the usual.
>The Palin ones in particular, I swear, that woman(and I use the term loosely) could probably murder someone On Camera and it would just be shrugged off as something put together by the 'corrupt liberals' to smear her good name.
Well, Dick Cheney shot a guy in the face, blamed him for it, and got away with it.
Well, Dick Cheney shot a guy in the face, blamed him for it, and got away with it.
Oh the gross stupidity... either someone was stupid enough to walk in front of a loaded gun someone was aiming, he was too stupid to notice said person, or a delightful mixture of the two...
It's almost funny when you think of it, suppose the 'not funny' part was how he got away with such gross negligence involving a gun.
It's almost funny when you think of it, suppose the 'not funny' part was how he got away with such gross negligence involving a gun.
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