(Part of an irregular series on adjusting to life in a magilatex suit.)

Dear diary: I’ve discovered why my appetite collapsed. Magilatex populated my digestive system. It was no surprise to have my lower intestine fully populated, also my vaginal tract is par for the course. But when I was feeling full all the time I ran a deep body scan at work and my stomach has been populated and is acting as a reservoir. I was worried I was being converted into a straight pipe rubber creature, but that’s not the case.

Magilatex has coated my small intestine to work its way through to the stomach. Also my bladder has been repurposed as a reservoir. The magilatex has also made it as far as my kidneys and semi populated those as well. The good news? I had some stones forming in there from all the great Italian wines and they’ve been painlessly broken down and are being dissolved.

Bottom line: my digestive system is now dependent on having a happy suit and has taken full responsibility for passing nutrition through to my body. If the magilatex has developed the way it ordinarily does, an exceedingly healthy suit would provision all needed nutrition.

How annoying. I’m in Italy, a stone’s throw from Greece and France, within reach of Turkey, Spain, North Africa, and Lebanon. And I’m losing my appetite.