"I want to be needful person."
"Smart, but lazy, withdrawn, weirdo." If you ask former Venyamin`s classmates, they would give him just such an exhaustive description.
What are his hobbies? Nobody knew. That guy had so many strange hobbies, from knitting to reading science fiction, that no one even tried to systematize the chaos that was going on in his head.
He simply existed separately from society, for which he seemed a stranger, and lived within his own world, which he built from strange theories and thougts.
His nature was unfriendly, so he had troubles to make friends. Maybe for the entire period he was hang out with a couple friends, but they were forgotten over time and erased from memories. Trying to grope for their faces that once brought pleasant emotions, the Jester cannot feel anything but a nagging feeling of nostalgia and slight hunger.
The detachment and isolation of Venyamin very often played a cruel joke with him. When he was under extreme stress, he needed an friend. Someone who would morally support and recognize he. But when he turned to the environment with a request, it resonated with the emptiness in his heart. At such moments, loneliness was felt especially acutely.
So it is not surprising that against the background of this exhaustion, he was capable of extremely risky actions. But all he wanted was to become needful person.