Warning: Below contains stressful related issues.

Recently I have been overwhelmed in life. Lots of ups and downs especially when i try to take one step forward something throws me 10 steps back. I don't plan to give up but I am just mentally and physically exhausted at the current moment in time.
I tried to take a week long vacation irl, but that did not go well. It was more stress than anything else. That's because i went with a few people but stuff kept going "wrong" and was not fun to put it into short terms.
I am working multiple jobs as of right now so I can not only keep up with bills and other things such as paying for my cars tires etc. (not cheap)
I am not only doing my main job of being a cleaner night shift, but i also substitute as a maintenance worker for day shift AND i also work in the cafeteria day shift if im not maintenance that day. I also have picked up doing craft fairs and flea markets (which honestly makes me more money in a few hours than my actual job does in a whole week)
I know everyone in my personal life probably thinks i only like money because if im offered something, i will almost always accept it depending on what it is. Mostly because i need money to LIVE. If i didnt live with my sibling and their partner ide probably work myself into a ditch because i still wouldnt be able to afford anything.
There was a point in time for about a month I wasnt on my meds all thanks to my doctors office etc shutting down suddenly with no notice, no contact no nothing no matter if i called, emailed or went in person. No idea where they up and left to or what happened which honestly screwed me up super badly. Having depression and anxiety issues is not fun to work with even medicated, let alone un-medicated! I was not only sad, but empty and zombified inside.
I do admit that there has been times where I thought of self harm and thoughts of "i dont want to be here or exist". Those were pretty rough and difficult recently. Now that i am back on my meds, its gotten less intrusive and i can function like a "normal" human being for the most part. I can pay attention and listen in on things now instead of looking at nothing but air.

I'm still tired.

On the GOOD SIDE:
I have 4 new kittens! They are the best little monsters that were left by the stray cat who had them. She just dropped them off under our porch and left them there. Raphael, cajun, serra, and matthias. With them in our house we officially have 6 cats. The 2 we had before (cabbage and soap) were always at eachothers throats fighting it was so rough. But now the kittens showed up and soap n cabbage are socializing in the same room! without fighting! Soap and cabbage play with the kittens and they also groom em. its the most adorable thing ever.
My flea market and craft fairs have been going well too! I sell hand made soaps, candles, charms, pins, bracelets, necklaces, stickers and color changing potions! I find it fun and relaxing to go. The other day i accidently paid a kid $5 to take one of my soaps x'D it had me cracking up when i realized she walked away with $5 and one soap more than she started with! Granted, her dad was a complete turd so im more than happy to help with the cause of making the kids day just to piss him off ;)