Yes, this piece is supposed to be more than a little silly. So, don't take it too seriously. :P
Some folks might find it tasteless, but c'est la vie.

Basically, it comes from a few sources, including some periods in my younger years, where I did farm-work, and for some odd reason, nearly every farming, or animal-care-related job I ever worked in, there always seemed to be at least one woman named Mary somewhere on staff, and there was always a man (or a woman) named Chris somewhere in the mix. Not sure why, but it was just one of those odd things.

I've also had several teachers, professors and various great and maybe not-so-great Aunties named Mary over the years. Not sure why, other than just the general, perennial popularity of the name...

There is also one particular memory from a fellow I once worked with (who was indeed named Chris), who had this odd, and homey way of talking to the cows and horses. One day, he was feeding a young heifer (who, as far as I know, was not named Mary), and patting her on the head and nose, and he said:

"...nah, she ain't big enough to be a moocow yet. She's still just a moo. Ain't decided yet if she's gonna end up with the bull, or in a burger."

She had those fluttery eyelashes that some cows do, and city boy that I still was, I couldn't help pouting just a little at the thought of her going to a burger. (though I still managed to eat a roast beef sandwich for lunch that day, filthy hypocrite that I am. :P )

Another musical influence is the song "I Am Cow" by the comedy musical group "The Arrogant Worms".

A literary influence is the title of a novel by Paul Zindel that I read as a kid, namely: My Darling -- My Hamburger