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More from Springfallendeer
The "C.U.M Project", an introduction pamphlet
Another commission for the lovely https://www.furaffinity.net/user/puffybelly/
The whole story will be in the description below, largely missing most of the formatting that exists in the posted file. Commission comes to just over 5k words, so its not too much of a read. With this story, we learn more about the Organization responsible for housing and conducting experiments with the Artifacts, Anomalies, and Irregularities have have been previously posted, as well as anything in the future. This is meant to be an introduction to the organization. So our SCP but lewd Organization finally has a name and its purpose clearly written out~!
C.U.M for the Benefit of Humanity
(Conceal, Understand, and Manage for the Benefit of Humanity)
This information document has been approved by the C.U.M Project for public release.
Introduction:
Welcome to the C.U.M for the Benefit of Humanity organisation, or the “C.U.M Project” for short, and thank you for taking the time out of your day to better your understanding of us. This information document contains all of the publicly available information on our organisation that could be considered suitable for strangers. This means that the information here is simply meant to introduce civilians with little to no knowledge on the “C.U.M Project” without risk of overwhelming them. Firstly, we’ll go over what our organisation does, and the importance of what we do.
The C in “C.U.M” stands for “Conceal”: The entities and objects that we deal with on a regular basis aren’t entirely known or understood, and ergo they must be concealed from public light - if only for a while. Every entity under the care of our organisation has come through the conceal stage, but not every entity has remained hidden from public knowledge. Our goal here is to keep people safe, and the fact of the matter is that panic spreads quickly. As do other problematic emotions, such as anger and greed. Many of the entities under our care could be considered dangerous or even gross or unsettling at first glance. Many accidents have occurred in the past due to the negative reaction of the general public when it comes to encountering the strange or unknown. Some of these accidents are the result of violence on humanity’s part - while others are the result of our curiosity getting the best of us.
In either case, these accidents are not okay and are better left avoided. So when a new entity is encountered, our first goal is to “Conceal” it from public light by whatever means available. This can include banning the public from entering certain areas in situations where apprehending and relocating the entity in question might not be immediately possible. While we understand that this can be frustrating, it is a necessary frustration for the sake of public safety. Ultimately our mission at this point in an operation is to keep people safe. The fewer accidents the better. Let it be known that we appreciate your cooperation during these difficult periods of time.
The U in “C.U.M” stands for “Understand”: Just as scientists would attempt to study and learn about a newly discovered species of animal, we here at the “C.U.M Project” do everything in our power to learn to understand the entities that we encounter. We conduct controlled experiments to observe the limitations of these entities that we obtain - both in terms of discovering what these entities can do, and in terms of learning where to draw the line in terms of human interaction. We learn all of the “dos” and “don’ts” to the best of our ability. Everything brought under our care is expected to be kept in as good of a state as possible. In a way, we behave like a zoo. We keep these rare and exotic things contained, but we also do everything we can to take proper care of them. We educate ourselves on them and then utilise that education to keep things running smoothly. Our ultimate goal is to use our findings to find that perfect balance that allows us to use these entities as some means of benefiting society. Not everything has reached that point yet, but we are trying our best!
The M in “C.U.M” stands for “Manage”: This can be thought of as our most intense phase of work, here at the “C.U.M Project”. To “Manage” these entities that we’ve come into contact with, we must perform many tasks. Living entities require continuous care in order to assure that a desired quality of life is maintained. We must provide both physical and mental stimulation. We must assure that they have round the clock access to anything and everything that they are determined to need. This does not mean something as simple as providing food, water, and a place to relieve themselves - this means providing them with anything and everything that is considered vital to their well being. Many of our living entities have personal caretakers who work in shifts to assure that any and every need is met. Our nonliving entities are cared for with the same level of care that a museum looks after its artifacts. We maintain the ideals of being as secure and humane as possible - but it is a two way street.
We assure the safety of our staff and those involved with us, just as well as we assure the safety of these entities. Our “Manage” phase includes more than simply taking care of everything we have taken possession of. We are ultimately in control of the level of exposure that these entities have with the outside world. The most agreeable entities are given quite a bit of public light. We take voluntary subjects for exposure based experiments, many times with the ultimate goal of bettering the lives of those involved. Every action taken in regards to exposing one of our entities to humans is considered management. From things as simple as feeding them to things as complex as undergoing experiments. The word “Manage” is used to encompass a wide range of tasks. So many tasks that they cannot be adequately detailed in this beginners introduction pamphlet.
Q & A
(Commonly asked Questions and Answers)
1. What is the “C.U.M Project”?
Simply put, the “C.U.M Project” is a Government funded scientific research organisation which specializes in the containment, study, and utilisation of a specific class of Unidentified Supernatural Organisms (USO’s). Our organisation is unique in the fact that the entities that it obtains are generally considered “Unusual and upsetting, but not inherently lethal” - that means that none of our USO’s are considered malicious by default. Any and all injuries which transpire as a result of exposure to these USO’s are considered the result of human error and/or the result of mishandling the USO in question.
2. Why do we need the “C.U.M Project”?
Society needs the “C.U.M Project” for largely the same reasons that we might need Marine Biologists or Pharmaceutical Researchers. The USO’s which we obtain, while not malicious in nature, can be dangerous if interacted with improperly. Allowing these USO’s (Commonly referred to as “Artifacts”, “Anomalies”, and “Irregularities”) to freely roam without any manner of human regulation is considered just as dangerous as allowing wild predators to explore urban areas. These USO’s are going to do whatever it is that they are designed to do, and human curiosity - and hostility - is very likely to lead to a wide array of problems. Just as you would call a specialist in the event that a Bear found its way into your home, you would call the “C.U.M Project” in the event that a wild USO appeared in a public setting. We exist to help and protect people. Pure and simple.
3. What do you (the “C.U.M Project”) do?
In simple terms, the duties “C.U.M Project” revolve around locating and apprehending various USO’s (Unidentified Supernatural Objects) then conducting research in order to find some means of using these entities to benefit the public. In less simple terms, we apprehend USO’s, conduct various experiments, care for the USO’s, and try to figure out how to use our knowledge to benefit the public. Everything can be further broken down from there to create more complex statements, but those finer details are best left to more detailed versions of these educational pamphlets.
4. When was the “C.U.M Project” founded?
The earliest version of the “C.U.M Project” was founded in the late 1920‘s and was originally designed as a specific branch of the military intended to combat specific threats believed to be created by the Soviet Union. By 1932, the original version of the “C.U.M Project” was considered fully functional and participated in various highly secretive projects. However, following a series of changes brought about by a change in understanding, the “C.U.M Project” as we would know it was officially founded in 1949, early into the Cold War. The basic purpose of the “C.U.M Project” and further details on why it was founded and why these changes were made can be read below.
5. WHY was the “C.U.M Project” founded?
The earliest known version of the “C.U.M Project” was originally designed as a specific branch of the military intended to combat specific threats believed to be created by the Soviet Union. Most information regarding the earliest tasks conducted by the project have either been sabotaged or lost due to unforeseen circumstances. What is known is that this early version of the “C.U.M Project” was responsible for carrying out many confidential and questionable missions. These earliest projects could definitely be considered malicious in intent. However, the expected duties of the “C.U.M Project” were eventually concluded as not being achievable. This conclusion was drawn once it was discovered that these supposed threats had nothing to do with the Soviet Union. Additionally, these threats were discovered to not really be threats at all - most danger came from human error. These threats were never intended to be threats. Much like a whale breaching the surface of the ocean has no intention to harm boats on the surface, these entities had no desire to harm humans.
As such, the “C.U.M Project” as we would currently know it was officially established. It is currently believed that these changes were made as a result of the Government realizing that money was better spent on more efficient war efforts, with intent on transforming the “C.U.M Project” into something of a support measure. That meant that rather than acting as a means of taking lives, the organisation was transformed into one intent on making lives easier. As such, we still seek out these bizarre entities that were first viewed as threats. The difference is that now we carefully apprehend these entities with the intention of studying them. The ultimate goal is to find a way to use these entities to make life better for everyday people. Our involvement in military action is almost entirely zero. What little involvement we do have with the military can in no way be considered violent or malicious.
6. Are there any other organisations similar to the “C.U.M Project”?
Currently there is only one other organisation known of that is theorised to function similarly to the “C.U.M Project”. The official name for this organisation is not currently known as attempts to gather information on it have been sub-par. The nickname given to this estranged sister organisation is “Project Hentai”. What we know is that this Organization was established in and functions in Japan. We also know that this organisation is also involved in containing and studying entities of a similar function to those that are contained and studied within the “C.U.M Project”. We do not know when this organisation was founded. We don’t know what manner of entities they contain. We do not know the purpose of their studies. What we know is that they exist. Admittedly the unsatisfied curiosity is quite a headache for many members of the “C.U.M Project”.
Artifacts, Anomalies, and Irregularities
(Defining the three groups of USO’s researched by the “C.U.M Project”)
Introduction:
Here at the “C.U.M Project”, we house a wide array of USO’s. From seemingly harmless inanimate objects that have some rather amusing effects on the user, to living entities that are overall just trying to do what comes naturally to them. Over the decades since our foundation, we have carefully honed our research methods in such a way that we have been able to organise these entities into three distinct groups. These groups are known as the “Artifacts”, the “Anomalies”, and the “Irregularities”. The key defining points of these groups will be further defined as you read on - but a brief summary will be provided here. Artifacts are considered to be inanimate or non-living USO’s. Anomalies are considered to be animate or living USO’s. Irregularities fall into the middle, consisting of multiple entities all working towards the same goal - but always having some combination of Artifacts and Anomalies.
Artifacts:
In the context of our research at the “C.U.M Project”, an Artifact is defined as an inanimate or non-living object which triggers an effect when exposed to humans. More often than not, that effect is triggered as a result of direct physical contact. Artifacts are believed to be able to take virtually any form. We have obtained jewellery, decorations, clothing, and even substances such as soil or water. Some of our Artifacts appear to have been man made, though we have not yet confirmed the origins of their creation. Other Artifacts seem to have come about naturally. Regardless of their mystery origin or their shape, all of our Artifacts have one thing in common - exposure has some rather erotic side effects. We have seen transformations, permanent and temporary. We have witnessed the sudden enhancement of various sexual organs. Our tamest Artifacts simply lead to a sudden enhancement in libido and fertility.
As one final summary of Artifacts; they are not alive and they are rarely free moving. They are generally worn or handled in some way, but can very rarely appear in a state that requires some level of consumption or absorbtion. What’s more, due to the fact that many Artifacts appear to have been man made or at least intentionally designed, it is generally assumed that an Artifact exists specifically to perform a desired task.
Anomalies:
In the context of our research at the “C.U.M Project”, an Anomaly is defined as an animate or living object which triggers an effect when in prolonged contact with humans. Anomalies are distinct in the sense that they are generally free moving entities with a clearly defined level of consciousness. Rarely these entities are found in the shape of plants, which are still classified as living objects despite being largely incapable of free movement. Unlike Artifacts, which are generally incapable of seeking out any manner of potential target, Anomalies have many means of engaging in some level of contact with humans. Generally speaking, it is the free roaming nature of Anomalies which makes them so much easier to encounter than Artifacts. In many cases, Anomalies could be classified as social creatures who wind up unintentionally forming an attachment to humans through some means.
Plant based Anomalies are different in the sense that they prey upon human curiosity as a byproduct of their design. In either situation, Anomalies often wind up being drawn to interactions with humans - either by being curious of us or by taking advantage of our natural curiosity. In this sense, Anomalies do not specifically exist to try and engage with humanity. We simply coexist in such a way that it makes our interactions both inevitable and easily sought out.
Irregularities:
Given the definitions of Artifacts and Anomalies, it would only make sense that Irregularities are defined as being entities that do not conform to either side. Irregularities are not singular entities, but a multitude of them all working in tandem in order to achieve a specific purpose. Traditionally speaking, an Irregularity consists of at least one Artifact and one Anomaly which are codependent on each other in order to reach their goals. However, there are multiple scenarios in which an Irregularity can be defined as a singular entity which could act as both an Artifact and an Anomaly. In the majority of these unusual cases, the Irregularity is an entity which transitions between being an Artifact or being an Anomaly based upon the circumstances that it is in.
Is this definition confusing? Yes, it is. So are the Irregularities that we work with here at the “C.U.M Project”. Research and debates are constantly taking place in order to determine if an entity should be reclassified as either an Artifact or an Anomaly based upon its behavior. Even entities which are not classified as Irregularities are often debated as being mislabeled. Irregularities could possibly better be defined as the entities which we struggle to neatly and easily identify. In the future, our definitions may change. However, they also may remain as is. Ultimately, life can not be so easily placed into neat little categories. Irregularities, much like many aspects of life, blur to many lines to make things easy.
The Ethics of Research
(Voluntary vs Involuntary test subjects)
Description:
So, we know that in order to determine how a USO behaves when around people, we must study them. Specifically, we must study them in very specific ways in order to find out if they do pose any risk at all in a long-term setting. Additionally, we need to be able to find out how these entities can be used to benefit society as a whole. For that to happen, we require human test subjects. There’s no ifs, ands, or buts about it. For the research to be conclusive and for us to be sure of the risks, our tests require humans to put their wellbeing on the line. There is a long standing debate about the ethics of this. A debate that everyone has the right to partake in, regardless of their status among society.
From the most well educated scientific researcher, to the most unfortunate man found living the streets. Humans have a number of legal rights. In some situations, these rights are taken from them in order for certain types of research to take place. In defining a Voluntary versus an Involuntary test subject, we hope to make the line clear to the public. We do not run these tests to be cruel, but to provide a better future for humanity as a whole. By providing this information, we give the public the ability to decide under what circumstances these less ethical tests may take place.
Voluntary test subjects:
A Voluntary test subject is just that - a person of any age who voluntarily signs up to participate in some manner of experiment. We here at the “C.U.M Project” receive multiple applications a day. Some of them are open applications - meaning that the subject wishes for us to contact them if we find them suitable for any type of experiment to let them decide if they’d like to participate. Other applications are specific - meaning that there are very specific experiments which they would like to participate in, and if they are given the okay to do so we can contact them. These subjects are free to back out of experiment at any time, up until reaching a “point of no return”. That being defined as a point in an experiment where the process is irreversible.
In the vast majority of cases, a Voluntary test subject is going to partake in an experiment that is not considered to have any “lethal” repercussions - that means a test which destroys them in such a way that most if not all of their human self is erased. These experiments will have temporary effects in most cases, but can sometimes have permanent effects that are warned of very early on in the preparation process. Very rarely, we do get subjects who volunteer for these “lethal” tests. We are very, very strict about these scenarios, and undergo an incredibly taxing process in order to assure that the subject volunteering for these specific scenarios does not have better options.
For some people, these “lethal” tests provide a benefit to them as well as to society. A means of escaping a deep mental trauma that no means of medication could cure. A means of escaping unbearable physical pain that can never be taken away. “Lethal” tests are largely considered a form of assisted suicide, though in most cases the subject is not physically dead. Still, we take the situation as seriously as it can be taken. We must assure that the people who volunteer for such tests are truly suffering in a way that this means of escape is more humane than turning them away. Rare as it is, it does happen.
Involuntary test subjects:
So, having discussed what a Voluntary test subject is - that would rightly mean that an Involuntary test subject is just the opposite. You would be mostly correct in that assumption. These subjects both volunteered for what they will undergo, but also did not. Involuntary test subjects largely consist of prisoners. Specifically, prisoners who have been given a sentence so long that they will never again walk the streets as free men or women, and prisoners who have been put on Death Row. For some of these people, the idea of spending the rest of their life behind bars is unappealing. The concept of being forced to wait months, if not years to be given a lethal injection is both terrifying and needlessly cruel.
Involuntary test subjects are contacted by officials at the “C.U.M Project” to be given an ultimatum. Rather than spend the rest of their lives behind bars, they can sign away specific rites and volunteer for the experiments that we largely prevent the wider public from partaking in. Rather than spend an unbearable amount of time waiting to be executed, they can volunteer to partake in an experiment that will give them a quicker way out. Involuntary test subjects are, for the most part, doomed to suffer an unfortunate fate regardless of whether or not they accept. For those who sign away their rites, there is no going back. They are assigned to an experiment and they are not given the opportunity to back out.
Some people argue that the process is cruel. Others argue that it is a mercy that they do not deserve. Others still consider it a means of making use of people who would otherwise do nothing but put a drain on the economy as a whole. The ethics are debated. The ethics are argued. We here at the “C.U.M Project” lay this information out on the table to give you the chance to decide for yourself, whether or not this process is cruel and unjust. We also welcome you to join the debates, in hopes of helping us to find a means of finding a solution that will be better from an ethical standpoint.
The “C.U.M Project”, a Brief History
(A short summary of the history of the “C.U.M Project”)
In the early winter of 1927, the earliest iteration of the “C.U.M Project” was given its first batch of funding. This project, which will be nicknamed as the “Maiden Project” due to missing information, had a drastically different purpose during its foundation. Due to new and growing fears pertaining to the threat of Communism, the project had been founded not as a means of researching unknown entities in hopes of benefiting society as a whole. Unfortunately, the “Maiden Project” has been confirmed to have been hostile in nature, with the major intent being to eliminate these perceived communist threats through whatever means necessary.
The specific purpose of the “Maiden Project” was to seek out and capture a number of rumored communist weapons. At the time, these weapons were believed to be created through a mixture of biological and mechanical efforts. Our government feared not only machine based attacks, but biological ones. Today we know that these fears were without foundation. Today we know that the entities in question were not created by communist terrorists at all, but that they were pre-existing entities that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Hindsight grants us a sense of logic that could not be afforded to the people of the past, who likely felt they had genuine reason to be afraid.
Those involved in the “Maiden Project” did not discover these truths for many, many years. More than two decades, to be specific. The first five years - dating from 1927 to 1932 - the “Maiden Project” did little outside of planning and scheming. From the year 1932 to 1949, a great deal of government funding was ultimately wasted not only to invade enemy territory to apprehend these discovered entities, but to try and find some means putting these entities to a violent use. The goal at the time was war. The goal at the time was to capture enemy weapons and use them against their creators. When it was eventually concluded that these goals were entirely without possibility of achievement, the “Maiden Project” was given a new purpose - likely in an attempt to save face.
The government had valid reason to be embarrassed and humiliated. The “Maiden Project” had been founded just under a decade following the conclusion of World War 1. The states had been struggling to recover from that trauma. Within two years of funding the “Maiden Project”, the Great Depression began. Then came the second World War. All of these catastrophes combined put a great ecological strain on the American people. What could only be described as an unfathomable amount of money had been wasted on military efforts that ultimately could have been put to better use elsewhere. The entities that the “Maiden Project” had captured were not dangerous - not in the way that could be viable in war.
The most dangerous aspects of these entities was that the largely Christian population would sneer at them due to their beliefs. Entities determined to be mainly sexual or erotic in nature had no use in war - though there were brief and fleeting moments where such things were at least theorized as being useful. The fact of the matter was that a great deal of money had been spent on a project which had no practical use. The only possible solutions were to either destroy the project entirely - or to attempt to repurpose it. To admit to being entirely wrong, or to quickly apply a new coat of paint and pretend that no mistakes had ever been made. Those in charge chose to save face.
In the year 1949, the “Maiden Project” went through a complete reconstruction. While it would still be considered a secret branch of the military, it would no longer exist with malicious intent. Now that the government had control over a handful of unusual and seemingly useless entities, a new goal was established. Find some means, any means, of making use of these strange entities. With the establishment of this new goal, and the reconstruction of the military branch - the “C.U.M Project” was born. Using the entities that had been captured during the dark ages of the project, an entirely new brand of research was established. Our plan from then on was not to find a way to contribute to war, but to find a way to contribute to the betterment of society. We are proud to state that despite the decades that have passed since then, that goal has not changed.
Bonus!
Did you know?
The first USO acquired by the “Maiden Project” was a Russian Nymph!
Researchers at the time didn’t know it, but the first entity captured by the “Maiden Project” was a creature that was later determined to be a Nymph. Today, most of the public will hear the term “Nymph” and think of the entity that hails from Greek Folklore. Researchers at the time noticed the similarities between the captured Russian Entity and the creatures of Greek Folklore, and as such she and others like her were then referred to as “Nymphs”. This is largely due to the fact that these entities make their home in forests, rivers, and lakes. They can even transform into plants if they feel threatened, and will do so to avoid danger!
Researchers named the captured Nymph “Leshy” as a nod to Russian folklore!
Due to a language barrier, researchers at the time did not have any means of communicating with the acquired Nymph. In the midst of the attempts to communicate with and study the entity, researchers stumbled upon a number of Russian stories describing a woodland deity/spirit known as the “Leshy”. Given that the Nymph had been found inhabiting a forest and the fact that she also came from Russia, she was referred to as “Leshy” from that point on.
Nymphs have their own language, and researchers have yet to decipher it!
Despite being found in Russia, Leshy did not speak a lick of the Russian language. In fact, Leshy and the other Nymphs speak a language entirely their own - and to this day researchers have failed to properly decipher it. We’d like to believe that we’re getting close, but it is difficult. To make things more difficult, Leshy and the other Nymphs do not appear to properly understand any human language. The majority of our communications need to be established through a mixture of body language, drawing, and context. Nymphs prefer to communicate with humans more through body language and actions than through their voices.
Nymphs boost the health of surrounding ecosystems when they orgasm - and it has some fun effects on humans!
Like any Anomaly, Nymphs have some rather interesting effects on humans due to their unusual properties. After years of careful study, it has been found that Nymphs actually play an important role in the ecosystems that they are found in. Their erotic escapades somehow seem to cause a release of what we define as a “Fertility aura”. This aura boosts the vitality of plants and causes animals within a certain area to reproduce faster and produce healthier options. Humans which are exposed to this aura suffer similar effects - meaning they not only wish to reproduce more, but are more likely to get pregnant and will produce healthier offspring. As an additional side effect, humans exposed to the “Fertility aura” appear to shed their inhibitions.
Humans who engage in intimate contact with Nymphs will become more confident in their bodies and will generally experience a relief from daily anxieties! For those interested in furthering our research efforts with Nymphs, applications are open! ;)
The whole story will be in the description below, largely missing most of the formatting that exists in the posted file. Commission comes to just over 5k words, so its not too much of a read. With this story, we learn more about the Organization responsible for housing and conducting experiments with the Artifacts, Anomalies, and Irregularities have have been previously posted, as well as anything in the future. This is meant to be an introduction to the organization. So our SCP but lewd Organization finally has a name and its purpose clearly written out~!
C.U.M for the Benefit of Humanity
(Conceal, Understand, and Manage for the Benefit of Humanity)
This information document has been approved by the C.U.M Project for public release.
Introduction:
Welcome to the C.U.M for the Benefit of Humanity organisation, or the “C.U.M Project” for short, and thank you for taking the time out of your day to better your understanding of us. This information document contains all of the publicly available information on our organisation that could be considered suitable for strangers. This means that the information here is simply meant to introduce civilians with little to no knowledge on the “C.U.M Project” without risk of overwhelming them. Firstly, we’ll go over what our organisation does, and the importance of what we do.
The C in “C.U.M” stands for “Conceal”: The entities and objects that we deal with on a regular basis aren’t entirely known or understood, and ergo they must be concealed from public light - if only for a while. Every entity under the care of our organisation has come through the conceal stage, but not every entity has remained hidden from public knowledge. Our goal here is to keep people safe, and the fact of the matter is that panic spreads quickly. As do other problematic emotions, such as anger and greed. Many of the entities under our care could be considered dangerous or even gross or unsettling at first glance. Many accidents have occurred in the past due to the negative reaction of the general public when it comes to encountering the strange or unknown. Some of these accidents are the result of violence on humanity’s part - while others are the result of our curiosity getting the best of us.
In either case, these accidents are not okay and are better left avoided. So when a new entity is encountered, our first goal is to “Conceal” it from public light by whatever means available. This can include banning the public from entering certain areas in situations where apprehending and relocating the entity in question might not be immediately possible. While we understand that this can be frustrating, it is a necessary frustration for the sake of public safety. Ultimately our mission at this point in an operation is to keep people safe. The fewer accidents the better. Let it be known that we appreciate your cooperation during these difficult periods of time.
The U in “C.U.M” stands for “Understand”: Just as scientists would attempt to study and learn about a newly discovered species of animal, we here at the “C.U.M Project” do everything in our power to learn to understand the entities that we encounter. We conduct controlled experiments to observe the limitations of these entities that we obtain - both in terms of discovering what these entities can do, and in terms of learning where to draw the line in terms of human interaction. We learn all of the “dos” and “don’ts” to the best of our ability. Everything brought under our care is expected to be kept in as good of a state as possible. In a way, we behave like a zoo. We keep these rare and exotic things contained, but we also do everything we can to take proper care of them. We educate ourselves on them and then utilise that education to keep things running smoothly. Our ultimate goal is to use our findings to find that perfect balance that allows us to use these entities as some means of benefiting society. Not everything has reached that point yet, but we are trying our best!
The M in “C.U.M” stands for “Manage”: This can be thought of as our most intense phase of work, here at the “C.U.M Project”. To “Manage” these entities that we’ve come into contact with, we must perform many tasks. Living entities require continuous care in order to assure that a desired quality of life is maintained. We must provide both physical and mental stimulation. We must assure that they have round the clock access to anything and everything that they are determined to need. This does not mean something as simple as providing food, water, and a place to relieve themselves - this means providing them with anything and everything that is considered vital to their well being. Many of our living entities have personal caretakers who work in shifts to assure that any and every need is met. Our nonliving entities are cared for with the same level of care that a museum looks after its artifacts. We maintain the ideals of being as secure and humane as possible - but it is a two way street.
We assure the safety of our staff and those involved with us, just as well as we assure the safety of these entities. Our “Manage” phase includes more than simply taking care of everything we have taken possession of. We are ultimately in control of the level of exposure that these entities have with the outside world. The most agreeable entities are given quite a bit of public light. We take voluntary subjects for exposure based experiments, many times with the ultimate goal of bettering the lives of those involved. Every action taken in regards to exposing one of our entities to humans is considered management. From things as simple as feeding them to things as complex as undergoing experiments. The word “Manage” is used to encompass a wide range of tasks. So many tasks that they cannot be adequately detailed in this beginners introduction pamphlet.
Q & A
(Commonly asked Questions and Answers)
1. What is the “C.U.M Project”?
Simply put, the “C.U.M Project” is a Government funded scientific research organisation which specializes in the containment, study, and utilisation of a specific class of Unidentified Supernatural Organisms (USO’s). Our organisation is unique in the fact that the entities that it obtains are generally considered “Unusual and upsetting, but not inherently lethal” - that means that none of our USO’s are considered malicious by default. Any and all injuries which transpire as a result of exposure to these USO’s are considered the result of human error and/or the result of mishandling the USO in question.
2. Why do we need the “C.U.M Project”?
Society needs the “C.U.M Project” for largely the same reasons that we might need Marine Biologists or Pharmaceutical Researchers. The USO’s which we obtain, while not malicious in nature, can be dangerous if interacted with improperly. Allowing these USO’s (Commonly referred to as “Artifacts”, “Anomalies”, and “Irregularities”) to freely roam without any manner of human regulation is considered just as dangerous as allowing wild predators to explore urban areas. These USO’s are going to do whatever it is that they are designed to do, and human curiosity - and hostility - is very likely to lead to a wide array of problems. Just as you would call a specialist in the event that a Bear found its way into your home, you would call the “C.U.M Project” in the event that a wild USO appeared in a public setting. We exist to help and protect people. Pure and simple.
3. What do you (the “C.U.M Project”) do?
In simple terms, the duties “C.U.M Project” revolve around locating and apprehending various USO’s (Unidentified Supernatural Objects) then conducting research in order to find some means of using these entities to benefit the public. In less simple terms, we apprehend USO’s, conduct various experiments, care for the USO’s, and try to figure out how to use our knowledge to benefit the public. Everything can be further broken down from there to create more complex statements, but those finer details are best left to more detailed versions of these educational pamphlets.
4. When was the “C.U.M Project” founded?
The earliest version of the “C.U.M Project” was founded in the late 1920‘s and was originally designed as a specific branch of the military intended to combat specific threats believed to be created by the Soviet Union. By 1932, the original version of the “C.U.M Project” was considered fully functional and participated in various highly secretive projects. However, following a series of changes brought about by a change in understanding, the “C.U.M Project” as we would know it was officially founded in 1949, early into the Cold War. The basic purpose of the “C.U.M Project” and further details on why it was founded and why these changes were made can be read below.
5. WHY was the “C.U.M Project” founded?
The earliest known version of the “C.U.M Project” was originally designed as a specific branch of the military intended to combat specific threats believed to be created by the Soviet Union. Most information regarding the earliest tasks conducted by the project have either been sabotaged or lost due to unforeseen circumstances. What is known is that this early version of the “C.U.M Project” was responsible for carrying out many confidential and questionable missions. These earliest projects could definitely be considered malicious in intent. However, the expected duties of the “C.U.M Project” were eventually concluded as not being achievable. This conclusion was drawn once it was discovered that these supposed threats had nothing to do with the Soviet Union. Additionally, these threats were discovered to not really be threats at all - most danger came from human error. These threats were never intended to be threats. Much like a whale breaching the surface of the ocean has no intention to harm boats on the surface, these entities had no desire to harm humans.
As such, the “C.U.M Project” as we would currently know it was officially established. It is currently believed that these changes were made as a result of the Government realizing that money was better spent on more efficient war efforts, with intent on transforming the “C.U.M Project” into something of a support measure. That meant that rather than acting as a means of taking lives, the organisation was transformed into one intent on making lives easier. As such, we still seek out these bizarre entities that were first viewed as threats. The difference is that now we carefully apprehend these entities with the intention of studying them. The ultimate goal is to find a way to use these entities to make life better for everyday people. Our involvement in military action is almost entirely zero. What little involvement we do have with the military can in no way be considered violent or malicious.
6. Are there any other organisations similar to the “C.U.M Project”?
Currently there is only one other organisation known of that is theorised to function similarly to the “C.U.M Project”. The official name for this organisation is not currently known as attempts to gather information on it have been sub-par. The nickname given to this estranged sister organisation is “Project Hentai”. What we know is that this Organization was established in and functions in Japan. We also know that this organisation is also involved in containing and studying entities of a similar function to those that are contained and studied within the “C.U.M Project”. We do not know when this organisation was founded. We don’t know what manner of entities they contain. We do not know the purpose of their studies. What we know is that they exist. Admittedly the unsatisfied curiosity is quite a headache for many members of the “C.U.M Project”.
Artifacts, Anomalies, and Irregularities
(Defining the three groups of USO’s researched by the “C.U.M Project”)
Introduction:
Here at the “C.U.M Project”, we house a wide array of USO’s. From seemingly harmless inanimate objects that have some rather amusing effects on the user, to living entities that are overall just trying to do what comes naturally to them. Over the decades since our foundation, we have carefully honed our research methods in such a way that we have been able to organise these entities into three distinct groups. These groups are known as the “Artifacts”, the “Anomalies”, and the “Irregularities”. The key defining points of these groups will be further defined as you read on - but a brief summary will be provided here. Artifacts are considered to be inanimate or non-living USO’s. Anomalies are considered to be animate or living USO’s. Irregularities fall into the middle, consisting of multiple entities all working towards the same goal - but always having some combination of Artifacts and Anomalies.
Artifacts:
In the context of our research at the “C.U.M Project”, an Artifact is defined as an inanimate or non-living object which triggers an effect when exposed to humans. More often than not, that effect is triggered as a result of direct physical contact. Artifacts are believed to be able to take virtually any form. We have obtained jewellery, decorations, clothing, and even substances such as soil or water. Some of our Artifacts appear to have been man made, though we have not yet confirmed the origins of their creation. Other Artifacts seem to have come about naturally. Regardless of their mystery origin or their shape, all of our Artifacts have one thing in common - exposure has some rather erotic side effects. We have seen transformations, permanent and temporary. We have witnessed the sudden enhancement of various sexual organs. Our tamest Artifacts simply lead to a sudden enhancement in libido and fertility.
As one final summary of Artifacts; they are not alive and they are rarely free moving. They are generally worn or handled in some way, but can very rarely appear in a state that requires some level of consumption or absorbtion. What’s more, due to the fact that many Artifacts appear to have been man made or at least intentionally designed, it is generally assumed that an Artifact exists specifically to perform a desired task.
Anomalies:
In the context of our research at the “C.U.M Project”, an Anomaly is defined as an animate or living object which triggers an effect when in prolonged contact with humans. Anomalies are distinct in the sense that they are generally free moving entities with a clearly defined level of consciousness. Rarely these entities are found in the shape of plants, which are still classified as living objects despite being largely incapable of free movement. Unlike Artifacts, which are generally incapable of seeking out any manner of potential target, Anomalies have many means of engaging in some level of contact with humans. Generally speaking, it is the free roaming nature of Anomalies which makes them so much easier to encounter than Artifacts. In many cases, Anomalies could be classified as social creatures who wind up unintentionally forming an attachment to humans through some means.
Plant based Anomalies are different in the sense that they prey upon human curiosity as a byproduct of their design. In either situation, Anomalies often wind up being drawn to interactions with humans - either by being curious of us or by taking advantage of our natural curiosity. In this sense, Anomalies do not specifically exist to try and engage with humanity. We simply coexist in such a way that it makes our interactions both inevitable and easily sought out.
Irregularities:
Given the definitions of Artifacts and Anomalies, it would only make sense that Irregularities are defined as being entities that do not conform to either side. Irregularities are not singular entities, but a multitude of them all working in tandem in order to achieve a specific purpose. Traditionally speaking, an Irregularity consists of at least one Artifact and one Anomaly which are codependent on each other in order to reach their goals. However, there are multiple scenarios in which an Irregularity can be defined as a singular entity which could act as both an Artifact and an Anomaly. In the majority of these unusual cases, the Irregularity is an entity which transitions between being an Artifact or being an Anomaly based upon the circumstances that it is in.
Is this definition confusing? Yes, it is. So are the Irregularities that we work with here at the “C.U.M Project”. Research and debates are constantly taking place in order to determine if an entity should be reclassified as either an Artifact or an Anomaly based upon its behavior. Even entities which are not classified as Irregularities are often debated as being mislabeled. Irregularities could possibly better be defined as the entities which we struggle to neatly and easily identify. In the future, our definitions may change. However, they also may remain as is. Ultimately, life can not be so easily placed into neat little categories. Irregularities, much like many aspects of life, blur to many lines to make things easy.
The Ethics of Research
(Voluntary vs Involuntary test subjects)
Description:
So, we know that in order to determine how a USO behaves when around people, we must study them. Specifically, we must study them in very specific ways in order to find out if they do pose any risk at all in a long-term setting. Additionally, we need to be able to find out how these entities can be used to benefit society as a whole. For that to happen, we require human test subjects. There’s no ifs, ands, or buts about it. For the research to be conclusive and for us to be sure of the risks, our tests require humans to put their wellbeing on the line. There is a long standing debate about the ethics of this. A debate that everyone has the right to partake in, regardless of their status among society.
From the most well educated scientific researcher, to the most unfortunate man found living the streets. Humans have a number of legal rights. In some situations, these rights are taken from them in order for certain types of research to take place. In defining a Voluntary versus an Involuntary test subject, we hope to make the line clear to the public. We do not run these tests to be cruel, but to provide a better future for humanity as a whole. By providing this information, we give the public the ability to decide under what circumstances these less ethical tests may take place.
Voluntary test subjects:
A Voluntary test subject is just that - a person of any age who voluntarily signs up to participate in some manner of experiment. We here at the “C.U.M Project” receive multiple applications a day. Some of them are open applications - meaning that the subject wishes for us to contact them if we find them suitable for any type of experiment to let them decide if they’d like to participate. Other applications are specific - meaning that there are very specific experiments which they would like to participate in, and if they are given the okay to do so we can contact them. These subjects are free to back out of experiment at any time, up until reaching a “point of no return”. That being defined as a point in an experiment where the process is irreversible.
In the vast majority of cases, a Voluntary test subject is going to partake in an experiment that is not considered to have any “lethal” repercussions - that means a test which destroys them in such a way that most if not all of their human self is erased. These experiments will have temporary effects in most cases, but can sometimes have permanent effects that are warned of very early on in the preparation process. Very rarely, we do get subjects who volunteer for these “lethal” tests. We are very, very strict about these scenarios, and undergo an incredibly taxing process in order to assure that the subject volunteering for these specific scenarios does not have better options.
For some people, these “lethal” tests provide a benefit to them as well as to society. A means of escaping a deep mental trauma that no means of medication could cure. A means of escaping unbearable physical pain that can never be taken away. “Lethal” tests are largely considered a form of assisted suicide, though in most cases the subject is not physically dead. Still, we take the situation as seriously as it can be taken. We must assure that the people who volunteer for such tests are truly suffering in a way that this means of escape is more humane than turning them away. Rare as it is, it does happen.
Involuntary test subjects:
So, having discussed what a Voluntary test subject is - that would rightly mean that an Involuntary test subject is just the opposite. You would be mostly correct in that assumption. These subjects both volunteered for what they will undergo, but also did not. Involuntary test subjects largely consist of prisoners. Specifically, prisoners who have been given a sentence so long that they will never again walk the streets as free men or women, and prisoners who have been put on Death Row. For some of these people, the idea of spending the rest of their life behind bars is unappealing. The concept of being forced to wait months, if not years to be given a lethal injection is both terrifying and needlessly cruel.
Involuntary test subjects are contacted by officials at the “C.U.M Project” to be given an ultimatum. Rather than spend the rest of their lives behind bars, they can sign away specific rites and volunteer for the experiments that we largely prevent the wider public from partaking in. Rather than spend an unbearable amount of time waiting to be executed, they can volunteer to partake in an experiment that will give them a quicker way out. Involuntary test subjects are, for the most part, doomed to suffer an unfortunate fate regardless of whether or not they accept. For those who sign away their rites, there is no going back. They are assigned to an experiment and they are not given the opportunity to back out.
Some people argue that the process is cruel. Others argue that it is a mercy that they do not deserve. Others still consider it a means of making use of people who would otherwise do nothing but put a drain on the economy as a whole. The ethics are debated. The ethics are argued. We here at the “C.U.M Project” lay this information out on the table to give you the chance to decide for yourself, whether or not this process is cruel and unjust. We also welcome you to join the debates, in hopes of helping us to find a means of finding a solution that will be better from an ethical standpoint.
The “C.U.M Project”, a Brief History
(A short summary of the history of the “C.U.M Project”)
In the early winter of 1927, the earliest iteration of the “C.U.M Project” was given its first batch of funding. This project, which will be nicknamed as the “Maiden Project” due to missing information, had a drastically different purpose during its foundation. Due to new and growing fears pertaining to the threat of Communism, the project had been founded not as a means of researching unknown entities in hopes of benefiting society as a whole. Unfortunately, the “Maiden Project” has been confirmed to have been hostile in nature, with the major intent being to eliminate these perceived communist threats through whatever means necessary.
The specific purpose of the “Maiden Project” was to seek out and capture a number of rumored communist weapons. At the time, these weapons were believed to be created through a mixture of biological and mechanical efforts. Our government feared not only machine based attacks, but biological ones. Today we know that these fears were without foundation. Today we know that the entities in question were not created by communist terrorists at all, but that they were pre-existing entities that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Hindsight grants us a sense of logic that could not be afforded to the people of the past, who likely felt they had genuine reason to be afraid.
Those involved in the “Maiden Project” did not discover these truths for many, many years. More than two decades, to be specific. The first five years - dating from 1927 to 1932 - the “Maiden Project” did little outside of planning and scheming. From the year 1932 to 1949, a great deal of government funding was ultimately wasted not only to invade enemy territory to apprehend these discovered entities, but to try and find some means putting these entities to a violent use. The goal at the time was war. The goal at the time was to capture enemy weapons and use them against their creators. When it was eventually concluded that these goals were entirely without possibility of achievement, the “Maiden Project” was given a new purpose - likely in an attempt to save face.
The government had valid reason to be embarrassed and humiliated. The “Maiden Project” had been founded just under a decade following the conclusion of World War 1. The states had been struggling to recover from that trauma. Within two years of funding the “Maiden Project”, the Great Depression began. Then came the second World War. All of these catastrophes combined put a great ecological strain on the American people. What could only be described as an unfathomable amount of money had been wasted on military efforts that ultimately could have been put to better use elsewhere. The entities that the “Maiden Project” had captured were not dangerous - not in the way that could be viable in war.
The most dangerous aspects of these entities was that the largely Christian population would sneer at them due to their beliefs. Entities determined to be mainly sexual or erotic in nature had no use in war - though there were brief and fleeting moments where such things were at least theorized as being useful. The fact of the matter was that a great deal of money had been spent on a project which had no practical use. The only possible solutions were to either destroy the project entirely - or to attempt to repurpose it. To admit to being entirely wrong, or to quickly apply a new coat of paint and pretend that no mistakes had ever been made. Those in charge chose to save face.
In the year 1949, the “Maiden Project” went through a complete reconstruction. While it would still be considered a secret branch of the military, it would no longer exist with malicious intent. Now that the government had control over a handful of unusual and seemingly useless entities, a new goal was established. Find some means, any means, of making use of these strange entities. With the establishment of this new goal, and the reconstruction of the military branch - the “C.U.M Project” was born. Using the entities that had been captured during the dark ages of the project, an entirely new brand of research was established. Our plan from then on was not to find a way to contribute to war, but to find a way to contribute to the betterment of society. We are proud to state that despite the decades that have passed since then, that goal has not changed.
Bonus!
Did you know?
The first USO acquired by the “Maiden Project” was a Russian Nymph!
Researchers at the time didn’t know it, but the first entity captured by the “Maiden Project” was a creature that was later determined to be a Nymph. Today, most of the public will hear the term “Nymph” and think of the entity that hails from Greek Folklore. Researchers at the time noticed the similarities between the captured Russian Entity and the creatures of Greek Folklore, and as such she and others like her were then referred to as “Nymphs”. This is largely due to the fact that these entities make their home in forests, rivers, and lakes. They can even transform into plants if they feel threatened, and will do so to avoid danger!
Researchers named the captured Nymph “Leshy” as a nod to Russian folklore!
Due to a language barrier, researchers at the time did not have any means of communicating with the acquired Nymph. In the midst of the attempts to communicate with and study the entity, researchers stumbled upon a number of Russian stories describing a woodland deity/spirit known as the “Leshy”. Given that the Nymph had been found inhabiting a forest and the fact that she also came from Russia, she was referred to as “Leshy” from that point on.
Nymphs have their own language, and researchers have yet to decipher it!
Despite being found in Russia, Leshy did not speak a lick of the Russian language. In fact, Leshy and the other Nymphs speak a language entirely their own - and to this day researchers have failed to properly decipher it. We’d like to believe that we’re getting close, but it is difficult. To make things more difficult, Leshy and the other Nymphs do not appear to properly understand any human language. The majority of our communications need to be established through a mixture of body language, drawing, and context. Nymphs prefer to communicate with humans more through body language and actions than through their voices.
Nymphs boost the health of surrounding ecosystems when they orgasm - and it has some fun effects on humans!
Like any Anomaly, Nymphs have some rather interesting effects on humans due to their unusual properties. After years of careful study, it has been found that Nymphs actually play an important role in the ecosystems that they are found in. Their erotic escapades somehow seem to cause a release of what we define as a “Fertility aura”. This aura boosts the vitality of plants and causes animals within a certain area to reproduce faster and produce healthier options. Humans which are exposed to this aura suffer similar effects - meaning they not only wish to reproduce more, but are more likely to get pregnant and will produce healthier offspring. As an additional side effect, humans exposed to the “Fertility aura” appear to shed their inhibitions.
Humans who engage in intimate contact with Nymphs will become more confident in their bodies and will generally experience a relief from daily anxieties! For those interested in furthering our research efforts with Nymphs, applications are open! ;)
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