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Antoine Darkstar - Zero to Hero Preview 1
Recently, I started to bring the Darkstar Saga Universe into full swing, one story at a time. So, I thought I'd share a short scene that is featured in the first story of said universe, "Antoine Darkstar - Zero to Hero". A story in which Antoine Darkstar chooses to go into a career of a professional Zoicadian footballer, specifically a striker. There's good moments, bad moments and ugly moments throughout all the stages of his career.
This is also the first form of literature I've ever published, so any and all constructive criticism is welcome as I will be developing this more and more as you see this, so there will be more previews to come.
This is also the first form of literature I've ever published, so any and all constructive criticism is welcome as I will be developing this more and more as you see this, so there will be more previews to come.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 54.4 kB
Well, not a lot can be said due to its short nature. Good internal work in reaction to dialogue and nice dialogue interactions. Character description, especially anthropomorphic description is lacking, but this is pulled out of larger context.
"Later that same day... stick out like a sore thumb." This massive paragraph tells. Our goal as writers is to show as much as possible. Lead through the characters their thoughts and interactions. You can show thoughts by making them italics.
Be careful repeating character description of character doing blank over and over again. Its a hard habit to break.
"Later that same day... stick out like a sore thumb." This massive paragraph tells. Our goal as writers is to show as much as possible. Lead through the characters their thoughts and interactions. You can show thoughts by making them italics.
Be careful repeating character description of character doing blank over and over again. Its a hard habit to break.
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