It was so funny... like you try to impress someone, feel sick to your stomach and still go on with a smile on your mouth just to make others feel good
took more than recomended dose of a medicine for sea sickness, trying to deepthroat a guy. Well funny that it didn't really work. i mean it DID work but like until the point my throat was being used past the limit. it was aching like hell, arms shaking, my whole body rejecting it... I said nothing

And you know i stared to feel like i need to lay down but kept going on cuz i can brush it off, pfew, no biggie. I said nothing

and while my prostate was being destroyed - heh - i felt such pain but couldn't really move at that point... or i felt like it would be more fuss to try then to just give in at let him do whatever he wants. my body becoming weaker and weaker... I said nothing

I really needed to lay down and don't move, I could barely hold focus my mind feeling disorientated, tring to piece together whe room around me as he constantly joked "playing dead huh?"... I smiled back

I went to the shower and when i was in the bath i wanted to lay in it so bad so i did, opened faucet with hot water and let it burn my skin, i felt pain but it was too good, the steam rising, filling the room with whiteness and when the bath was full i was alone in this tiny room where every drop from leaky fauset resonated greatly, dilated eyes saw walls moving in and out, pulsating, the room was alive, i was it's child, in her warm womb, in fetal position breathing an inch from water level, feeling calm, feeling sleepy,

feeling thankful for the pain so i can feel pleasure, only through pain i can see clear, only by torture i find myself

I live in a house with a tin roof and
Every time it rains, I can feel my brain
It's moving back and forth
Upside down, east-west

Maybe someday this roof will cave in
You'll find me on the floor looking at the stars

Close your eyes and hear my secret
Deep, deep loving, hear my secret
Hear my secret, hear my secret
(Locket by Crumb)