Yup, Christmas is almost here.

We all know the stress of the holidays; drinking Aunt Clara's homemade eggnog that's too much egg and not enough nog, playing chicken with that semi truck for the last spot in the mall parking lot, finding that "some assembly required" means that you have to grow the tree and plane the boards to make the rocking horse.

That's nothing compared to what our fine retail customer service folks must endure.

I know what it's like. I worked in a department store *mumbles* years ago.
I remember the holiday madness that comes from trying to make a whole year's sales in 1 week. It's enough to make a good dog break his leash.

So I've decided to do something about that.

I'm going to visit every single retail outlet in every state all across the US.
No store will be spared. This dog is going to brighten up the day of each sales clerk one by one. Spreading holiday cheer and bolstering the economy, that's me.

I started with this lovely lady at a boutique in Huntington Beach. She helped me find this kitschy cowboy hat for my right ear. I told her my dirty three wise men joke. As you can tell from her face, she was incredulous that such a thing could happen in her little store. A Christmas miracle indeed.

OK, so I may not be able to visit EVERY store in America, so I'm gunna' delegate an important task to my furry pals out there:

Go shopping and BE NICE TO THE FOLKS WHO WORK IN THE STORE.

It's easy. Wish them a wonderful holiday. Be gentle with their frazzled brains. Tell 'em a good dirty joke. Hand out cookies if you have to but do something to make these people happy.

Don't forget, without them you wouldn't have that new shirt to spill eggnog on.