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This is the full version of my story 'All of the Stars in the Sky'. It first appeared in Wolves.Gay volume 1; you can grab the full anthology over at https://dobescrusher.itch.io/wolvesgay-volume-1 on a pay-what-you-want basis from $0.
I have edited and slightly expanded the original story for this submission, hopefully for the better! Big thanks to
Helix Teller of Tales for helpful comments on the teaser.
Icon and header image from the amazing star atlas by Johann Bayer, published in 1603: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uranometria This particular picture shows the wolf Lupus being slain by Centaur. How charming.
All about Tishtrya: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tishtrya
I have edited and slightly expanded the original story for this submission, hopefully for the better! Big thanks to
Helix Teller of Tales for helpful comments on the teaser.Icon and header image from the amazing star atlas by Johann Bayer, published in 1603: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uranometria This particular picture shows the wolf Lupus being slain by Centaur. How charming.
All about Tishtrya: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tishtrya
Category Story / All
Species Wolf
Size 97 x 120px
File Size 134.7 kB
Listed in Folders
From the story icon, I first thought I was seeing a wolf on a paper target riddled with bullet holes rather than a constellation of stars. Given the setting, I had already steeled myself for the inevitable. It came, and it still hurt. What a concise summary of years of pain that was.
The only critique I can bring to bear is leveled at myself, the reader. This ended happily, almost fairy tale, happily-ever-after happy. I am such a cynic when it comes to romantic relationships that I emotionally rebelled against the perfection of the ending, the acceptance of loss and fulfillment of love ongoing. Such an unexpected discovery of a new partner so like the other, yet not a replacement. I am jaded against such sickly sweet fate, jealousy at fault.
It took me a while to find the words to express this. I had to re read it and ponder it. I believe your stories require the most attention to properly absorb out of most of my reading, online or otherwise. There is no doubt your research was worthwhile as it seamlessly wove the story together.
The only critique I can bring to bear is leveled at myself, the reader. This ended happily, almost fairy tale, happily-ever-after happy. I am such a cynic when it comes to romantic relationships that I emotionally rebelled against the perfection of the ending, the acceptance of loss and fulfillment of love ongoing. Such an unexpected discovery of a new partner so like the other, yet not a replacement. I am jaded against such sickly sweet fate, jealousy at fault.
It took me a while to find the words to express this. I had to re read it and ponder it. I believe your stories require the most attention to properly absorb out of most of my reading, online or otherwise. There is no doubt your research was worthwhile as it seamlessly wove the story together.
I read your comment about the story icon, and had to do a huge facepalm... it never even occurred to me that the image looks exactly like a bullet-riddled target!
Your critique is very fair, and it's also very valuable to me - because, guess what, you're absolutely right. The ending of the story really is too balanced, symmetrical, and perfect - it's a lazy ending, fairytale, Disney-esque. The fault lies with the writer, because I default to optimistic endings almost all of the time, even when the storytelling and the characters might be better served by a more realistic, nuanced conclusion. In retrospect, I could have leant more heavily on the homophobia that's still rife in so many countries, and/or focused on the PTSD aspects. Both options would have taken me well outside of my comfort zone as a writer, but of course that's absoultely a good thing.
Thank you so much, kind sir!
Your critique is very fair, and it's also very valuable to me - because, guess what, you're absolutely right. The ending of the story really is too balanced, symmetrical, and perfect - it's a lazy ending, fairytale, Disney-esque. The fault lies with the writer, because I default to optimistic endings almost all of the time, even when the storytelling and the characters might be better served by a more realistic, nuanced conclusion. In retrospect, I could have leant more heavily on the homophobia that's still rife in so many countries, and/or focused on the PTSD aspects. Both options would have taken me well outside of my comfort zone as a writer, but of course that's absoultely a good thing.
Thank you so much, kind sir!
I will agree with Onic that a jaded heart will find Pazir's luck a little hard to believe. I definitely agree that your work requires time and attention to fully appreciate.
But there was this moment you used to perfect effect. To some it may have seemed rushed or convenient. I found it painfully telling.
The instant Pazir is next to Peter, the grey wolf's first concern it to let his love know how he feels one last time.
That single moment, experienced as a flashback, said more about these two and what they meant to each other than any amount of flowery words or heated passion could. And that only amplified the depth of the tragedy. Love and loss ruthlessly compressed into a searing memory that leaves you with a clearer understanding: very powerful writing my friend.
But there was this moment you used to perfect effect. To some it may have seemed rushed or convenient. I found it painfully telling.
The instant Pazir is next to Peter, the grey wolf's first concern it to let his love know how he feels one last time.
That single moment, experienced as a flashback, said more about these two and what they meant to each other than any amount of flowery words or heated passion could. And that only amplified the depth of the tragedy. Love and loss ruthlessly compressed into a searing memory that leaves you with a clearer understanding: very powerful writing my friend.
I wanted to authenticate the bond between Pazir and Peter, as well as its intensity, despite the lack of physical relations between the two of them. I also wanted to acknowledge the very real experiences of soldiers in an all-too-recent war; I'm not sure how well I succeeded in that, but I did try.
Your ability to see inside what I am writing never fails to impress and inspire me. Thank you as ever for reading, kind sir!
Your ability to see inside what I am writing never fails to impress and inspire me. Thank you as ever for reading, kind sir!
I do try to angle for positive, or at least not tragic, endings to my stories. Killing characters, even minor ones, is difficult for me – even when it's necessary for the storytelling. I finished this story literally days before America's final withdrawal from Afghanistan.
I definitely need to check out your writing!
I definitely need to check out your writing!
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