Not the most cringe because it has the least problems. A living world with character interaction and could be worth exploring further.

I'm certainly glad to hear that I seem to finally get tense right for once.
I finished this one, read it over, and the only thought running through my mind was "THIS is what I spent the better part of an hour and a half on? I might need a drink now..."

It happens.

Do want to add watch out for establishing subject matter.

"took, he could hear the" There is no he at this point in time. This makes you think it is the horse. Make sure you provide who the he is first and keep work on that repeat name issue. Alternate nouns help. Ex: Man, knight, warrior, etc.

Oh, right, you pointed that out to me in my last one as well. Maybe I'll start getting the tense right so now I can focus on my other problem areas as well. Slowly but surely... I hope.

Yep step by step you learn and grow.

We all daydream. Good concepts.

Thank you for saying so; I couldn't help but think this one was super dorky. This was basically me all through school...

As someone who has an active imagination and likes to daydream this one certainly struck a chord! Fun and well written piece FtD, my only suggestion would be to make it clearer at the beginning that Sir Thompson is an anthro and not a human astride an actual horse, too me a little bit to be certain of that.

I'm glad you seemed to like it. Had a hard time trying to figure out how to just start this one.

I hadn't thought about that. While writing it up, I had it in my mind that he was an anthro horse just waltzing into town. Can certainly see how that may have been a bit unclear now that you've brought it to my attention. Guess I need to work on my delivery a bit; I sometimes forget that I'm the only person who can hear the thoughts in my head (that's probably a good thing, though).

No 'seemed' about it, I did like it. Honestly I don't understand people who don't daydream like that. And yes that's always a difficulty, story elements which might be perfectly clear to the writer are not necessarily so to the reader.

way cute - and been there...

Vix

I'm glad you thought it was cute, I still cringe at this one just reading the title.