This is my christmas gift for my  jxn merry christmas my love, i hope u like


and now the story:

I felt loved. I felt warm, safe, at home, in his arms. The world and all its troubles faded away as my head lay against his chest, listening to his strong heartbeat. Even though this moment was perfect beyond what I dreamed in my imagination, how I got to this point was not as wonderful as one may hope.
I was at my winter home for christmas; alone due to my family's sudden departure for Florida...without telling me of course. It was snowing heavily outside and unfortunately too heavy for any airport nearby. I sighed as I realised that not only can I not go home but that I will also spend christmas eve completely alone. I decided to do what I always did when I was lonely. I called my love, my heart, my boyfriend Jackson. I dialed his number as fast as I could, listening to my phone ring, in hopes that he would pick up and hear his soft, sweet, soothing voice that belonged to this lovely man. To my great misfortune I was met with his answering machine and I only left a small message, in hopes that he would call me back.
Hours had passed since that call, with not a single call from him or anyone else. I decided to camp out by the fireplace, hoping the roaring fire would keep me warm and safe until the snow passed. Even as the warmth of the fire hit me, I still felt cold. Cold, empty, sad, lonely; all those feelings crept up on me, took me by surprise, and sent me into a deep depression. The only thing I could do was cry as time went on, grieving over my loneliness, the emptiness that I knew existed cause my heart was with someone far away from me. Time seemed to slow down as if to prolong my suffering. I felt that hole in my heart grow bigger and bigger, starting to consume me as the thoughts of living without him filled my head. I could only clutch my chest as the place where my heart should be screamed in pain, in pure and utter agony. I screamed and cried, wanting the pain to end. Eventually it did end, but instead of contentment it was replaced by numbness. I felt numb, devoid of emotion or pain, I felt nothing and just laid there by the fire. In that numbness my head raced, thinking of ways to plunge me further into my own darkness, to sink me deeper in my pool of self pity.
All that stopped when I heard a knocking on my winter home door. I tried to gather the falling pieces of myself to put on a believable mask of fake happiness and answered the door. When I answered it though my mask fell apart to pieces and the tears started to flow again as I saw Jackson standing at the door with a smile that was so warm and loving that every facade melted away. Running into his chest I cried, I cried harder than I ever have before, realizing that the thing I wanted most was here with me, of all times and places. He hugged me tight against him and lead us back inside house. He sat me down by the fire while still smiling despite my tears. He sat down next to me and put me back in his arms, pushing my head against his chest, and saying the only words I wanted to hear.
“I'm here now Josh,” he said sweetly with the voice that soothed every worry and paranoia within my brain, “and i'm not going anywhere anytime soon.” Only by those words was I able to smile for the first time that night and I cried once more. Not out of sorrow though, out of happiness, out of joy that we were together. He brought my head close to his, my eyes closing as our lips drew closer together, and we kissed. It was more than that though. It was euphoria, I felt my whole body tingle and shoot off fireworks inside me, warmth filling every crevice, every muslce and every bone within my body. We tried to get closer together but it was not possible as our bodies were already pushed against each other's. Even though the kiss was a good minute it seemed fleeting, leaving me wanting more of those lucious lips of his. I smiled and wiped away my tears, and he could only smile back with his brown eyes lighting up like the northern lights. He walked away to the kitchen, smiling the whole way as I heard water running and cups clanking. He brought us back hot chocolate and tea. The hot chocolate in my favorite TARDIS mug, and the tea in his own mug. We snuggled closely together next to the fire, sipping on our drinks till he said he had a surprise for me. He pulled out a large quilt and embroidered on it were the letters “J&J” in the snowest white. My face turned red as he wrapped the quilt around us, enjoying christmas eve as it should be. It should be spent with the one you love most, the one who means the world to you and more. This night I did, and I wouldnt want anymore than that.