I have audacity to call myself "artist" and stuff I make "art". My drawings are just scribbles, nothing more and I wouldn't be even recognized if I didn't draw a piece with two popular OC's... A something which doesn't even belong to me.
I'm totally useless person. A useless person who is trying to be something more. Nobody truly cares for me because the how unsympathetic person I'm. The way I look, the way I speak, The way how my voice sounds like and it's tone, the way I move, the way I stand up, the way I handwritting looks like, the way how my signature looks... I'm trying to be funny, but my jokes are just lame attempts. Nobody is interested in them, same in the bullshit I say. People often keeps a some way of relationship just want something from me and when somebody truly cares then I disappoint them...
I let down so many people. A make so many promisses which I wasn't able to fullfill because I often take too much big bite to swallow.
I overestimate, I disappoint, I'm abandoned...
I don't deserve the attention which I was given. I don't deserve the favs or watchers. I come here for criticism and how I become whore to attention when I ring the right bell... I should never draw that fanart! I should have been left ignored and let my account just die!
I'm not a artist! I'm not a writter or story teller! I should never be allowed to work as chemist! I should not be allowed to even fly a stupid sailplane, because who I'm! I know who I'm? A LOSER! I always been and always will be! A loser, who lets voluntarily put himself on chains. A loser who is entrapped by his own escapisms. A loser who fetishes his own fantasy to allow a bunch a hormones to feel him better! A loser who comes to things he wanted to avoid before! A loser who killed his own emotions and feeling instead of let them out to seek help because he is too scared to communicate!
Not so long ago I seen a bestiality comic on E621... and I hate it... Not because of the topic of bestiality between fictional characters. No. But because of the way how the main protagonist thinks! He believes that the horse loves him, however, the whole romance is just in his head - created by wild hormones which makes his believe in such shit. He sees love where it isn't... And I hate it because we have that in common. I felt love to people where it wasn't and seen friendship where it was anything alse. I don't have friends. My true friends left me long time ago and I left them. The people who seems like my friends are just bunch of text or voices on other side of the screen or random people whose lives I have wandered into... I'm just a random weirdo who they don't need and who is just wasting their time. I don't even know how I even got into contact with them...
Why do I even write this? Do I ask for forgiveness? NO. I don't want it. I don't DESERVE IT! My life is a lie! I live in lie! And don't want anymore to entrap others in it! I don't want this anymore! I Can't take it anymore! I can't go like this anymore! I don't want this false empression to live! I want to let it out! I want people to see who truly am: A USELESS PERSON THE NO ONE
I'm totally useless person. A useless person who is trying to be something more. Nobody truly cares for me because the how unsympathetic person I'm. The way I look, the way I speak, The way how my voice sounds like and it's tone, the way I move, the way I stand up, the way I handwritting looks like, the way how my signature looks... I'm trying to be funny, but my jokes are just lame attempts. Nobody is interested in them, same in the bullshit I say. People often keeps a some way of relationship just want something from me and when somebody truly cares then I disappoint them...
I let down so many people. A make so many promisses which I wasn't able to fullfill because I often take too much big bite to swallow.
I overestimate, I disappoint, I'm abandoned...
I don't deserve the attention which I was given. I don't deserve the favs or watchers. I come here for criticism and how I become whore to attention when I ring the right bell... I should never draw that fanart! I should have been left ignored and let my account just die!
I'm not a artist! I'm not a writter or story teller! I should never be allowed to work as chemist! I should not be allowed to even fly a stupid sailplane, because who I'm! I know who I'm? A LOSER! I always been and always will be! A loser, who lets voluntarily put himself on chains. A loser who is entrapped by his own escapisms. A loser who fetishes his own fantasy to allow a bunch a hormones to feel him better! A loser who comes to things he wanted to avoid before! A loser who killed his own emotions and feeling instead of let them out to seek help because he is too scared to communicate!
Not so long ago I seen a bestiality comic on E621... and I hate it... Not because of the topic of bestiality between fictional characters. No. But because of the way how the main protagonist thinks! He believes that the horse loves him, however, the whole romance is just in his head - created by wild hormones which makes his believe in such shit. He sees love where it isn't... And I hate it because we have that in common. I felt love to people where it wasn't and seen friendship where it was anything alse. I don't have friends. My true friends left me long time ago and I left them. The people who seems like my friends are just bunch of text or voices on other side of the screen or random people whose lives I have wandered into... I'm just a random weirdo who they don't need and who is just wasting their time. I don't even know how I even got into contact with them...
Why do I even write this? Do I ask for forgiveness? NO. I don't want it. I don't DESERVE IT! My life is a lie! I live in lie! And don't want anymore to entrap others in it! I don't want this anymore! I Can't take it anymore! I can't go like this anymore! I don't want this false empression to live! I want to let it out! I want people to see who truly am: A USELESS PERSON THE NO ONE
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1150 x 749px
File Size 13.1 kB
Take a deep breath. Things seem bad now, but they will get better - it will take work, you might have to find help, but things can and will get better.
The proof that things will get better is that you wrote this message. You want people to know how you feel and that is the first step to getting better.
We hear you, you're not "no one". You're somebody going through a rough time.
The proof that things will get better is that you wrote this message. You want people to know how you feel and that is the first step to getting better.
We hear you, you're not "no one". You're somebody going through a rough time.
This Text coming from Discord from me to you:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49959255/ i saw your text and i can understand your Pain and the Believe a Nobody to are ... well i am honest i am too, in a long time. So i can understand what you feeling. But for me you are Amazing, you disappoint nobody not to me, your Artwork is Amazing! Don't told yourself that you are a Useless Person, a No one, because you are Special on my View and i like your Art and Fantasy, really much as you believe. I want really a Good Friend to you are, also if we not us together and i am sorry that your friend leaving you ... i know how feels alone are ... and i want you making happy and no longer alone, you can believe me. I want just, helping you to escape the Situation where you are.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49959255/ i saw your text and i can understand your Pain and the Believe a Nobody to are ... well i am honest i am too, in a long time. So i can understand what you feeling. But for me you are Amazing, you disappoint nobody not to me, your Artwork is Amazing! Don't told yourself that you are a Useless Person, a No one, because you are Special on my View and i like your Art and Fantasy, really much as you believe. I want really a Good Friend to you are, also if we not us together and i am sorry that your friend leaving you ... i know how feels alone are ... and i want you making happy and no longer alone, you can believe me. I want just, helping you to escape the Situation where you are.
I am uncertain whether I am the right person to say anything cuz I pretty much feel the same about myself. I just want to say that having a good idea and building upon it can take years. I started writing in English at the age of 17. Now, I am almost 26 and I still don't feel confident about the way I approach things despite the positive attitude and encouragement of my fans. What I wanna say, stay determined. One day, it's gonna click and everything will be easy out of sudden. That moment is called enlightenment, a literal light bulb powering up in your mind. You just gotta hold on. Promise. And good luck out there.
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