Its been a long, long road. Much has happened, and this account has been with me the whole time. I am so proud of myself. I honestly never thought I'd reach a milestone like this.
I graduated high school this year, and I've heard before that high school graduation is one of the best years of your life. It was quite the opposite for me. 2022 has been probably the worst year of my life... so much so that even lost the will to live and lost all the joy I once had for life. After my dad passed in April this has been the darkest period of my life. Everything felt... empty. I was buried in negative thoughts and had no goals. I felt dead... i was living in fear and lost all joy. I contemplated suicide all the time, as a constant thought in the back of my head... but I'd never actually do it. I just longed for someone to rescue me from the life I had. I hated myself down to the core...
Yet I learned to live again. I realized what had happened to me, and I was in pure shock. I felt like I had wasted those parts of my life because I was blinded by pain. But I know those parts of my life were necessary to learn the lessons. Im not sure how it happened but I set off a chain reaction that brought me this newfound joy. I forgave myself. I realized all the negative thoughts I listened to. I realized my own mortality and that I will die one day. I realised I'm not perfect and never will be. And I've realized not to take others advice, (as ironic as that sounds, it truly helped me). This chain reaction is what set me on another path, one towards self fulfillment.
Im learning to live again, and this milestone on fa serves as a symbol that i am leaving that dark cycle behind.

To anyone in pain, or feeling like there's no joy in anything anymore, send me a note. You're not alone. Loving life again starts with loving yourself to the core... forgive yourself for all you've done. You had your own reasons.

Oh also, I gave lira red hair in this pic. I might keep it like that! About time she had a change of style!