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Having found and studied a dragon, Dave takes a report of his findings to a scientific archive so his and Jim's findings can be revealed to the world. Once they figure out how to convince them it's not a hoax, that is...
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All things go, all things go [/Sufjan Stevens]
In previous drafts of the story, there had been a chapter between the previous one and this one, but I ended up removing that one because it was really just a bunch of filler, with nothing of any significance going on. The result, however, was making the beginning of this one a little confusing, though I think it's not too bad.
This chapter was also in need of a bit of a rewrite. The scale and wing samples were a late addition, and should have had a much greater impact on the panel as far as showing that Dave's work was legitimate; instead, I only made sure they were mentioned instead of making sure to have the people examine and react to them. Oh well.
Comments and critique greatly appreciated.
First | Previous | Next
All things go, all things go [/Sufjan Stevens]
In previous drafts of the story, there had been a chapter between the previous one and this one, but I ended up removing that one because it was really just a bunch of filler, with nothing of any significance going on. The result, however, was making the beginning of this one a little confusing, though I think it's not too bad.
This chapter was also in need of a bit of a rewrite. The scale and wing samples were a late addition, and should have had a much greater impact on the panel as far as showing that Dave's work was legitimate; instead, I only made sure they were mentioned instead of making sure to have the people examine and react to them. Oh well.
Comments and critique greatly appreciated.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 17.8 kB
Listed in Folders
Oh, story is starting to really pick up on speed. (: Me like.
You would think that almost being killed the first time around would kinda make them want to keep away from big carnivor dragons.. ;P
Story is really nice so far. It is not as well written as some of your latter stories(in my opinion at least) or at least it shows that it was eddited a lot, the flow is just not as consistend and some things are left not explained well enough. But that is not to say its bad, it still has that great flare to it, making me want to read on and on.(aka, really engaging) And well, I always was a sucker for characters like Carnoc, the not perfect but also not evil mains.)
So yea, even if its not the highest quality work you ever did, it is still a great job. And considering the lengh of it all(being like a book. And honestly, there just are not enough dragon centered books in this world) you should be proud.
You would think that almost being killed the first time around would kinda make them want to keep away from big carnivor dragons.. ;P
Story is really nice so far. It is not as well written as some of your latter stories(in my opinion at least) or at least it shows that it was eddited a lot, the flow is just not as consistend and some things are left not explained well enough. But that is not to say its bad, it still has that great flare to it, making me want to read on and on.(aka, really engaging) And well, I always was a sucker for characters like Carnoc, the not perfect but also not evil mains.)
So yea, even if its not the highest quality work you ever did, it is still a great job. And considering the lengh of it all(being like a book. And honestly, there just are not enough dragon centered books in this world) you should be proud.
About all the writing for this story was done 3-5 years ago, so it's not the same quality as the rest of my gallery, I know. :P
I like that sort of main character too, and you'll notice as the story goes on that it can be hard to choose who's the good guy and who's bad. ^^
Thanks! And it's more like two books, really, when it's all said and done. Really long. >.<
I like that sort of main character too, and you'll notice as the story goes on that it can be hard to choose who's the good guy and who's bad. ^^
Thanks! And it's more like two books, really, when it's all said and done. Really long. >.<
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