Veteran of the Tribble Wars

You see me now a vet'ran...
Of the Klingon Tribble Wars...
I try to tell my stories,
But all I get are snores...
We ganked fuzzy hordes of furballs,
Burned out that cute disease...
All those long years of sneezing!
Let me tell you of my allergies!

Don’t let those critters breed!
Break out the prophylactics!
You’d think they’d just get tired…
There were tribbles every place!
They were swarming in our space!
Oh how… to get these vermin gone?

You ask me and you’re shouting
Because I can’t hear you.
It’s from Tribble Trilling Deafness,
And that shrill hullabaloo.
You could space a hundred thousand
And they’d breed a million more!
They got in our raktageeno…

I lost my sense of humor in that war!
Those shrieks went on and on!
But only for us Klingons!
They’d howl until you’d leave!
There were tribbles underfoot
There were tribbles in your boot!
Oh, geeze… What did I just step on?

They never gave out ribbons
For the Klingon Tribble Wars.
We came home drenched in dandruff
And found out they bred from spores!
You’d find tribbles in your undies
And they’d perch upon our heads!
They gave us wrinkled foreheads…

Didn’t you know how that came to be?
I see them everywhere!
Look first before you sit down!
Watch where you put your rear!
They are living in our brains!
They are coming up the drains!
Don’t flush just once when you have gone!

Flush twice and check when you have gone!
Flush twice and check when you have gone!

I thought everybody could use a Warm Fuzzie. My apologies to members of the Blue Oyster Cult.