FA+
Shop
603
Views
Views
5
Favorites
Favorites
Category
Artwork (Digital) / Transformation
Species Pig / Swine
Size 2048 x 1530
File Size 1.67 MB
Report this content
More from Campto
Listed in Folders
“Fred, I don't know why we keep going to these company parties every year. It's always at this same dump, always the same faces, always the same sh*t...”
“You know exactly why we go, Herb. So the boss can feel like Santa Claus for handing out those $100 bonus checks. You know, I think he still thinks $100 is a big deal these days.
“Yeah, right. Cheap bastard.”
“But, hey... if you're tired of the same faces... get a load of the new girl in the corner... under the mistletoe!”
“Where... whoa! Is she... is she an actual pig?
“She sure is. That's Alicia, the new girl in Accounts Receivable. Some kind of Diversity hire, from what I hear. And under the mistletoe, yet! That takes some nerve, don't it? She'll be there all night!”
“I don't know, Fred. From the look on her face, somebody set her up, and she knows it. You have to feel sorry for her, in a way...”
“Well, how sorry do you feel, my man?”
“What do you mean?'
“I'll tell you what. I'll give you my $100 if you go over there and kiss her!”
“WHAT??”
“You heard me. $100 says you don't have the balls to go over there and kiss her on the snout! I dare you! It'll be the most fun I've had with my bonus in years! And you always bitch about there being no new faces around here. Now that's a new face!”
“You know... you're on! I mean... how bad can it be?”
“I don't know, buddy... you might just pick up swine flu if you're not careful! HAW HAW HAW!”
“All right a**hole, that does it. I'm going in!”
“Whoooo! Way to go, buddy!”
“So... hi. You new here?”
*OINK* Okay... how much they paying you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, please. I saw your *OINK* buddy over there nudging you and pointing my way. This *OINK* has got to be a bet you two have going on.”
“Sigh... you got me.”
“Believe me, I know how that goes. My *OINK* 'friend' over there bet me $100 I wouldn't stand under this *OINK* mistletoe for a half hour.”
“Really...”
“Yeah. Look, I *OINK* know I'm a pig, okay? I know she just had me do this to *OINK* humiliate me. But I *OINK* need the $100, okay? I work in Accounts OINKing Receivable, for cry-yi! I'm *OINK* used to humiliation.”
“That is a lousy job... Alicia, is it? I know I could never do it.”
“Thanks. And you're *OINK* Fred, aren't you? Oh, don't *OINK* look at me like that. This is a small company. Your *OINK* reputation precedes you.”
“What reputation is that?”
“Well, the word is, you'll go out with *OINK* anybody... at least once. And you've pretty much *OINK* gone through all the women here. Pig.”
“Well, I guess it takes one to know one...”
“Hah. I guess I *OINK* set myself up for that one, huh? Hey... wanna *OINK* hear something funny?”
“What?”
“If I actually get someone to *OINK* kiss me, I get an extra $100.”
“No way!”
“Yes way. So... I have a *OINK* proposition for you... what say... we *OINK* give 'em a show? You kiss me, and we *OINK* both win our bets. Then we can go about our business, and *OINK* be good sports about it. *OINK* Deal? Your buddy's looking at you. Probably *OINK* wondering why you're wasting time talking to me, instead of just *OINK* cutting to the chase.”
“All right, then... are we really doing this?”
“Hey, I'm just a *OINK* pig... I can't be choosy... right?”
“Oh don't say that. You seem nice and all. Just not my type, that's all. So... let me get down here. Okay! Count of three! One... two... three!”
“SHHHHHLLLURRRRRRP!”
“EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! HAHAHAHAHA! Oh my GOD!”
“Wow... just... wow. Did you feel that?”
“I *OINK* sure did, Sugar! Whatever else they say about you, you're one *OINK* hell of a kisser!”
“Well, you're… you're no slouch yourself. Your... your snout is so... velvety... and warm... and moist... and... and...”
“SHHHHHLLLURRRRRRP!”
“Oh my GOD they're doing it AGAIN! UGGGGH! Get a ROOM you two! No... get a STY! HAHAHAHAHAHA!”
“You're not getting an extra hundred out of me, Fred! That wasn't the deal!”
“You either, Bitch! Just because some shmuck feels sorry for you? I am so sure!”
“You know, Alicia... let's blow this pop stand! Would you like to go out for... coffee or something”
“I'd *OINK* love to, Sugar! Just let me *OINK*get my wrap.”
“Okay... hey, that's pretty. If you don't mind my asking... how do you get it on?”
“Well in this case... maybe some nice *OINK* gentleman could give me a hand with it?”
“Oh... oh yeah... here you go. Good night, everybody! Don't wait up for me!”
“Me *OINK* either! Teeheeheeheeheehee!”
“Well... you gotta hand it to Fred. He works fast!”
Now why The Hallmark Network didn't jump on that treatment when I pitched it to them, I'll never know.
“You know exactly why we go, Herb. So the boss can feel like Santa Claus for handing out those $100 bonus checks. You know, I think he still thinks $100 is a big deal these days.
“Yeah, right. Cheap bastard.”
“But, hey... if you're tired of the same faces... get a load of the new girl in the corner... under the mistletoe!”
“Where... whoa! Is she... is she an actual pig?
“She sure is. That's Alicia, the new girl in Accounts Receivable. Some kind of Diversity hire, from what I hear. And under the mistletoe, yet! That takes some nerve, don't it? She'll be there all night!”
“I don't know, Fred. From the look on her face, somebody set her up, and she knows it. You have to feel sorry for her, in a way...”
“Well, how sorry do you feel, my man?”
“What do you mean?'
“I'll tell you what. I'll give you my $100 if you go over there and kiss her!”
“WHAT??”
“You heard me. $100 says you don't have the balls to go over there and kiss her on the snout! I dare you! It'll be the most fun I've had with my bonus in years! And you always bitch about there being no new faces around here. Now that's a new face!”
“You know... you're on! I mean... how bad can it be?”
“I don't know, buddy... you might just pick up swine flu if you're not careful! HAW HAW HAW!”
“All right a**hole, that does it. I'm going in!”
“Whoooo! Way to go, buddy!”
“So... hi. You new here?”
*OINK* Okay... how much they paying you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, please. I saw your *OINK* buddy over there nudging you and pointing my way. This *OINK* has got to be a bet you two have going on.”
“Sigh... you got me.”
“Believe me, I know how that goes. My *OINK* 'friend' over there bet me $100 I wouldn't stand under this *OINK* mistletoe for a half hour.”
“Really...”
“Yeah. Look, I *OINK* know I'm a pig, okay? I know she just had me do this to *OINK* humiliate me. But I *OINK* need the $100, okay? I work in Accounts OINKing Receivable, for cry-yi! I'm *OINK* used to humiliation.”
“That is a lousy job... Alicia, is it? I know I could never do it.”
“Thanks. And you're *OINK* Fred, aren't you? Oh, don't *OINK* look at me like that. This is a small company. Your *OINK* reputation precedes you.”
“What reputation is that?”
“Well, the word is, you'll go out with *OINK* anybody... at least once. And you've pretty much *OINK* gone through all the women here. Pig.”
“Well, I guess it takes one to know one...”
“Hah. I guess I *OINK* set myself up for that one, huh? Hey... wanna *OINK* hear something funny?”
“What?”
“If I actually get someone to *OINK* kiss me, I get an extra $100.”
“No way!”
“Yes way. So... I have a *OINK* proposition for you... what say... we *OINK* give 'em a show? You kiss me, and we *OINK* both win our bets. Then we can go about our business, and *OINK* be good sports about it. *OINK* Deal? Your buddy's looking at you. Probably *OINK* wondering why you're wasting time talking to me, instead of just *OINK* cutting to the chase.”
“All right, then... are we really doing this?”
“Hey, I'm just a *OINK* pig... I can't be choosy... right?”
“Oh don't say that. You seem nice and all. Just not my type, that's all. So... let me get down here. Okay! Count of three! One... two... three!”
“SHHHHHLLLURRRRRRP!”
“EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! HAHAHAHAHA! Oh my GOD!”
“Wow... just... wow. Did you feel that?”
“I *OINK* sure did, Sugar! Whatever else they say about you, you're one *OINK* hell of a kisser!”
“Well, you're… you're no slouch yourself. Your... your snout is so... velvety... and warm... and moist... and... and...”
“SHHHHHLLLURRRRRRP!”
“Oh my GOD they're doing it AGAIN! UGGGGH! Get a ROOM you two! No... get a STY! HAHAHAHAHAHA!”
“You're not getting an extra hundred out of me, Fred! That wasn't the deal!”
“You either, Bitch! Just because some shmuck feels sorry for you? I am so sure!”
“You know, Alicia... let's blow this pop stand! Would you like to go out for... coffee or something”
“I'd *OINK* love to, Sugar! Just let me *OINK*get my wrap.”
“Okay... hey, that's pretty. If you don't mind my asking... how do you get it on?”
“Well in this case... maybe some nice *OINK* gentleman could give me a hand with it?”
“Oh... oh yeah... here you go. Good night, everybody! Don't wait up for me!”
“Me *OINK* either! Teeheeheeheeheehee!”
“Well... you gotta hand it to Fred. He works fast!”
Now why The Hallmark Network didn't jump on that treatment when I pitched it to them, I'll never know.
Category Artwork (Digital) / Transformation
Species Pig / Swine
Size 2048 x 1530px
File Size 1.67 MB
Comments