Well, that first paragraph is a mass, but everything after fine stuff.

I always seem to struggle trying to figure out how to best introduce the scene but I am glad to hear you thought the rest was okay.

Beginnings are hard. A rule of thumb is where things actually begin. The first real action tends to trump other things, but this is not a catch-all and there are other ways to open.

Let’s break down what actually was done.
Festival music could (bad word in this case because it implies a listner) be heard playing in the town plaza just a few hundred meters away (away from who and what, we have no character to hear this music that could be hearing.).


Mixed with the jolly sounds of revelry were the chirps of crickets and the babbling of the stream under the small wooden bridge (would be fine, but the previse sentence does not have a listener, and thus this subject matter).

(New Paragraph )A full moon hung in the cloud-specked night sky, illuminating a most peaceful garden with as much light as it could muster.

(New Paragraph)Bushels of flowers sat on either side of the dirt walkway leading back toward the looming estate.

We go form music, sound under bridge, moon, flowers and dirt way to estate. We have no character and jump around between these subjects that are supposed to show us place, but the organization is a mess. So yeah that’s the issue there.

Then boom we get lady.

Oh, I see now. You've mentioned this to me before but I don't think I fully understood previously. Your explanation makes so much more sense now and I can see why one would say the first paragraph is basically just filler.

Thank you very much, I think I now have a grasp on how to clear up this issue when I go to make an introduction.

Yep filler, no purpose to the whole.

I wondered where you were going with the story. So, the surprise at the end is a pleasant one.

Well, this is just a first draft of something I want to work on later, but I'm very glad to hear you seemed to like it. I'm hoping the finished story will be just as pleasant a surprise.

well done... it did draw upon my emotions...

Vix

I'm very glad you would say this was well done, I hope I can keep the emotion when I come back to it later.

That was very well written FtD! Sent you a note.

I very much appreciate you saying so. Thank you for the favorite and I have replied to your note.

You're welcome, and I'll get back to you FtD, just finishing a backlog of comments and then I'll get to my notes! All things being well.

Murder!

I think this is technically manslaughter, but killing is still killing, so... yeah...

That aside, just having read the word "murder" has immediately given me ideas to build up when I go to flesh this out. Thank you very much for the flash of inspiration.

You're welcome!