Family Matters
© 2022 by M. Mitch Marmel

Thumbnail art by  tegerio, color by  Major Matt Mason

Part Thirty-nine



Roland:

The rest of our return trip was without incident, and we landed exactly where we had started from, in the courtyard of the Imperial & Royal Naval Headquarters. Colonel Mason offered to help my nephew move the King into his wheeled chair, only to back off when Gawain glared at him.

My royal brother acknowledged Mason and the crews’ salutes, and signaled for Gawain to pause beside the bear. “Thank you, Colonel, for a very enlightening journey.”

“It was my pleasure, Your Majesty.”

Adler nodded and we made our way inside.

Shortly thereafter, we made our way back to the Palace, and my brother leaned toward me for a bit of private Elf-mind.

“Those Lowfolk have very comfortable chairs, wouldn’t you agree?”

I had to concede that he was right.


***


Mason:

As soon as the Royals left, Lt. Josef Anton Bearovitch marched out smartly and came to attention. “Colonel!” he said, saluting.

I returned the salute, scowled at him suspiciously, made sure there were no Elves about, and stuck my muzzle up close to his. He obligingly exhaled, and I sniffed.

I didn’t smell anything untoward, which only made me more suspicious. “Have you been drinking, Josef?”

“Da,” he replied, simply and to the point. “These Elves make warry fine drink and food, and Josef Anton shared many laughs and good stories with them.” He gave me a broad wink. “And, per your orders, all the stories were true!”

I’ll bet. “Even the lies?”

“HA! ESPECIALLY the lies!”

We both started laughing, and boarded the Seagull for the trip back to the Musashi. The sensor-equipped craft had probably gathered enough data to give me a headache, and this ship needed some repairs.

And I’d have to talk to Low, and calm her down. She doesn’t like it when I get in trouble, and has a disturbing habit of shooting things when she gets upset.


***


Winterbough:

After making sure that the ice-wyrm egg was all right and safely back in its case, I emerged from the Lodge to see that Brother Cellini was returning to the Temple. He had both Lupo and Cannizorro well in paw, by which I mean that he had a death-grip on each erring acolyte’s ears. All three of them were wet, thoroughly bedraggled and covered in mud.

Only Brother Cellini was still clothed, although his cassock was in tatters.

As soon as he saw me, the turtle came to a halt. “Hey, Master,” he said, and with a harsh twist he drove the wolf and fox to their knees amid much whining and gekkering, “since dese two mugs decided t’try an’ rob ya, I t’ink ya should have a say in what their penance oughta be.”

“Please, Master,” Lupo quavered.

“I’m a baaad boy,” Cannizorro sobbed.

I was sorely tempted, I’ll admit.

Instead I smiled and said, “Since the egg wasn’t damaged, I’ll accept the punishment that Windimere meted out as sufficient for me.” The fox and the wolf babbled their thanks. “As to their penance, because they’re your acolytes, Brother, I’ll leave that to you.”

Two sets of ears went straight back. That is to say, those ears not being held in the turtle’s grasp.

Cellini said, “Y’see, youse jerks? Dat’s how a truly Seelie Elf acts. C’mon,” and another twist pulled them both to their feet before the Vicar of Elfhame took his leave of me and dragged his victims – er, penitents – back to the Temple.

Over the next several days everyone in Greytor-Village had ample opportunity to view Cannizorro and Lupo’s public penance. Yes, it was public, because Brother Cellini decreed that as acolytes of the Lady Fuma and part of the hierarchy of the Mephitist Church (granted, at a very low level), they should certainly have known better than to try to steal from another Elf.

Each day began with a sermon on virtue and Seelieness, followed by each of them sparring against Cellini, twenty minutes each. The Muscular Mephitism portion of the program was scheduled for three times a day, and included very strenuous road-work.

Three days later, Brother Cellini determined that Lupo and Cannizorro’s sins had been properly faced and beaten.

It was pretty obvious that so were the two acolytes.

With the penance done, he held a Lower Service (minus the Holy Re-Creation) for an audience of two, and then told them what they needed to do as an act of contrition.

Said act entailed scrubbing the entire Temple, top to bottom, until it was absolutely clean. So clean, said Brother Cellini, “Dat dem roe-does would be able t’eat offin it.”

Twice.

This took about two weeks, with the wolf and the fox on an abstemious diet of bread and water throughout and singing a hymn as they worked. It was one of the more popular hymns to be sung if one felt that they had slipped in appreciating the Lady’s Grace and Favor for creating Elves and the blessings of the Shining Land.

“We’re bad, we’re awful sinners
Lady please have mercy on us!
We’re bad, we’re awful sinners
Lady please have mercy on us!

I disdained the Lady and what do I see
(Lady please have mercy on us!)
The Netherhells are waiting there for me
Lady please have mercy on us!

We’re bad, we’re awful sinners
Lady please have mercy on us!
We’re bad, we’re awful sinners
Lady please have mercy on us!

A Seelie Elf has nothing at all to fear
Lady please have mercy on us!
Unseelie Elves will face a future drear
Lady please have mercy on us!”


***


Low:

Damn this tail . . . how does Tali manage to keep it from thrashing around like this?

I’ll have to ask her.

What? No, I’m actually quite human. But all the inhabitants of this alternity are anthropomorphs, so when in Rome, be a Roman candle, and all that.

The Seagull returning from the Capital uncloaked as it came into a grav-assisted hover over the landing bay, and I stifled a gasp when I saw the damage to its wing. Fortunately, the craft had the best crew, and being designed for VIPs it was loaded with safety redundancies.

Still, I realized that I was holding my breath as the Seagull touched down and the engines stopped. The rear ramp swung down and the first person off the craft was my husband, followed by Lt. Bearovitch.

“Josef, as soon as we get all the data on that Gap, I want it transmitted to HQ ASAP,” Matt was telling his aide. “The boffins will have a field day with it.” Bearovitch saluted and left, and Matt came walking up to me.

He saluted. “I want to report that the guests all made it back – “ He didn’t really get to say much else, as I grabbed his ears, pulled him in close and kissed him. The flight deck personnel paused in whatever they were doing and applauded. A few cheered.

When we came up for air Matt grinned. “Well! That’s a very nice way of returning a salute.”

“Wait till I get you back in our quarters,” I said quietly. “For right now, we’re raising ship.”

Matt frowned. “Why?”

I held up two fingers in a ‘V.’ “Two reasons; one, I don’t want a Gap forming around us. Two, shortly before you got back we got a sonar contact. Something big was passing under the ship.”

“Yeah, a Gap would spoil our whole day.” A smile creased Matt’s ursine muzzle. “The Princess did mention something about a kraken. How big was it? As big as the Musashi?”

“No.”

“Well, that’s – “

“About two hundred meters longer.”

The smile fled. “ – A great reason to get this old girl up among the stars where she belongs.” He plucked at his greatcoat’s collar. “I’m going to get changed out.”

“I’ll come with you. The Bridge has my orders, and,” I paused as the hangar doors closed and everyone started to feel a little pressure on their ears, “and if something comes up they can let us know.”




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