Ive been an absolute failure in trying to cope with abandonment issues for about maybe 5-6 years now
Every time i try to get close to anyone i inadvertently shred them apart and drive them away from me
Im not a monster and also i am a monster

For the first time the people who loved me made me feel like I could actually live a healthy normal life
I dont care what it takes anymore, if my reality crumbles then i welcome it, I want to live again and get the help I need
Im an optimist, If im in pain i know life will only get better, If everyone forgets me and lives happily together in my absence, Ill just rebuild myself a new life built on the memories you gave me

Im just a causality of misfortune, its not your fault and im sure youll say its not mine either, I just wish our pain didnt cross the way that it did
For your own sake i wont say im okay, but i will say that i am going to be okay
It may take months and im prepared to take years, Dont forget me but dont miss me too much
Just remember all the fun we've had and then think of all the great memories that are going to be created, that will suffice me for the time being
Maybe ill be less quiet, it would be sweet, but first i need to get a good holding on life again and only then you can hold me back up and then we can both stop worrying if or when im going to bite

If i havent bestowed hope then thats okay, I never even took my first step either and im scared and terrified and my face is full of tears, but life goes on and i plan to go on with it biting and scratching it back
Because through the fog of it, I'm still me, and we are not our pain and we are not our thoughts and we all posses the capability to do anything we want.. Even if we continuously fall back on your asses and straight back down into the fog because i know im sitting there right now, thinking where things went wrong and thinking about getting back up again