I came up with this idea last night, and it was still with me today, so I decided to write it.
The goal with this was to write a story that would have the dialogue similarly to how I think and speak, so it has a lot of "like" and "kinda". This may make it hard to parse, sorry about that, but think of it similarly to how James Joyce wrote Ulysses. Or not, I've never read James Joyce. There's some interesting themes in here, I think.