I don't know what I'm doing anymore or why, idk what to do or how. I'm so fucking stupid.

My parents are fighting...I'm a complete idiot and keep getting jelous when I don't want to...my grades are slowly dropping, and I'm in homeschool.

This morning I had my first suicidal thought but it didn't last long...I don't know what to think anymore.

My friend suggest I draw a vent and this is what it is...

my parents are breaking up...again...my trust is getting trampled on...and it's my fualt, all this is interfering with my school work...actually I'm probably too stupid to realize I'm the reason my grades are dropping.

I'm also too stupid to realize that it's never going to happen with someone but what can I do? My first serious love and I can't even keep it together, not like I deserve it anyways I'm a complete jerk,sure I could say sorry a thousand times but then it would make me look like someone who abuses the word sorry...

I just can't understand why I do stupid things...I don't know how to learn because I'm too retarded to see my mistake and learn off it...Idiots deserve punishment for being stupid, I guess.

but as I said before, this is just a vent...ignore it if you want but please keep mean comments too youself...I don't want to deal with anything right now...