Spies Are Like Daffodils
A Spontoon Island story
© 2023 by Walter Reimer

Thumbnail art by  RockBaker

Four.


“Nunevya has had enough of this,” the minkess said as the two mels seated across from her bickered. Their argument was beginning to attract attention.

“No, we haven’t – ow!” Patafuerte yelped as her teaspoon smacked him on the tip of his nose. He grabbed at the injured organ as Phlute started to laugh, only to yelp as the spoon struck him across the beak with a harsh clack.

“Nu, listen up,” Nunevya hissed. “First, you tell Nunevya who you are.” She jabbed the spoon at the fox. “You first – and keep voice quiet, nu?”

Henry hunched forward and said something indistinct, and the minkess said, “Now Nunevya cannot hear anything!”

The tod murmured, “Testing, testing,” in a steadily increasing volume until the minkess nodded. “I’m Henry Patafuerte, Rain Island Intelligence.”

She sat back. “You are joking.” Before he could reply, she made a dismissive gesture. “Is no matter. Nunevya call you Fox-Boy. Now, you,” and she pointed at the stork.

“Bernie Phlute, Ma’am. Minkerton’s Detective Agency.”

Both the fox and the mink stared at him. “What?”

Finally the minkess shrugged. “Eh, Nunevya does not care. Now, we must leave. Train station is not far away, and we shall head north.”

“Wait a minute,” Phlute said, raising one wing. “Why north?”

“Because north border closer, nu? We must leave quickly, before I am missed and Okhrana catch me. Next train north is five o’clock, afternoon – what?” she demanded, glaring at Phlute.

“But I just got here,” the stork said. “I was thinking I could see the sights.”

“And I need to pack,” Patafuerte said.

Nunevya facepalmed. “Look, you have been sent to get me, yes?” The two mels glanced at each other, and nodded. “Good, excellent. Your governments wish to have me, because I am valuable, yes? I know of things that your governments want, yes.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Sure.”

“So!” Nunevya lowered her voice slightly. “If Okhrana here in Tilikum see me talking with you, they wonder why, yes? They maybe kill Nunevya, yes?”

“Yes – er, no, they won’t,” Henry said firmly, sitting up and squaring his shoulders. “They’ll have to get through me first.”

“And me!” Bernie said, trying to imitate the tod-fox but failing to make such an impressive display.

Not that Nunevya cared. “Good. I go to train station now. You get things, meet me there, yes?” The stork and the fox nodded. “Now go.” They did as she said, and she relaxed just a tiny bit before casually looking around.

Good, it appeared that no one was watching her.

Then she scowled, suddenly realizing that she had to pay the two idiots’ checks in addition to her own.


***


Tilikum actually had two main train stations. The one handling cargo was on the east end of the city, while the main passenger terminal was located on the north bank of the river that bisected the capital from east to west.

She’d left her apartment with her purse, the contents of which and the clothes she was wearing constituting all she had as she paced the platform nervously. Nunevya had gotten her ticket on the Golden Bear, running north from Tilikum and into American territory, ending at Washington State’s biggest city, Tacoma.

But from there, where would she go?

Tacoma was American territory, true, but a ferry trip would see her setting foot in Rain Island. Socialists, and the minkess’ hackles rose as all of the Tsarist propaganda she’d grown up with surfaced in her memory. Still, they were willing to shelter her in return for what she knew.

So, socialists or democrats? She thought she would keep an open mind, as she really didn’t think that the two mels she’d met in response to her plea were good examples.

At least, she hoped not.

“I’m here! I’m here!” She whirled in time to come almost nose to beak with the stork, who was standing entirely too close to her. He was carrying a small and well-filled grip. “Are we ready to go?”

“Train will be leaving soon,” Nunevya said, pointing at the schedule. How had he managed to sneak up on her? She had been looking around constantly for any sign of an Okhrana officer, and was ready to bolt toward the waiting train. The minkess resumed looking around and her tail sagged as she saw the fox step onto the platform. He had a suitcase and the violin case in his paws.

She’d heard that, socialist or not, Rain Island had Russian Orthodox churches. She resolved to make confession if she succeeded in escaping despite these two idiots.

“Hi, Nunevya!” Henry said. Not as loudly as the stork had, although that might have been because the avian had been closer when he started talking. “Oh, you again,” the tod said to the stork.

“Yeah, me,” Phlute said. “Want to make something of it, Fluffy-tail?”

“At least I have fur, Feather-brain – what are you doing?” Henry asked Nunevya, who had started looking around again. “Have a cramp or something?”

“No,” she replied. “I am looking for Okhrana.”

“I don’t think they grow okra up here,” Phlute said. “I think that’s down south.”

“Okhrana,” the minkess growled. “Is secret police, yes? Tsar’s wolves.”

“We’ll help you look,” Henry said. “C’mon, what’s your name – “

“Bernie.”

“Okay, Bernie, let’s play Spot the Mook.”

“’Spot the Mook?’” the stork asked.

The fox nodded. “We look around, and try to spot the bad guys.” He started swiveling his head on his neck, and said, “What do you think of her?”

“Who?”

“Her.”

“Where?”

“Okay, you see that lamppost?”

“Which one?”

“The one the kitten’s leaning against.”

“Ah. Got it.”

“Now, look at the second one to the right of that.”

“So you mean the canine?”

“Yeah.”

“No, she can’t be a bad guy.”

“How can you tell?”

“Her dark glasses and white cane,” Phlute said. “Okay, my turn.”

Nunevya kept looking, ignoring the pair, and she suddenly stopped dead. “There,” she said.

“Hm? Do you want to play too, Nunevya?” Henry asked.

“Nunevya does not need to play.” She nodded toward the station bar, where two mels, a bear and a wolverine, sat at a small table.

Looking directly at her.

“Those two?” Phlute asked. “The cougar and the collie?”

“Bear and wolverine,” the minkess said, edging toward the entrance of the rail car as the public address system called for boarding the train.

“Bear and wolv – oh, yeah, I see ‘em,” Henry said. “What makes you – where’d she go?” he asked, looking around for the minkess.

“Might have gone to use the washroom,” the stork said. “You know these dames, right?”

“Heh, yeah.” The train sounded its whistle. “She’d better hurry up. Train’ll be leaving soon.” Henry glanced at Phlute. “Minkerton’s, huh?”

“Yeah. Rain Island, eh?”

“Uh-huh.”

The whistle sounded again, and the train began to move.

Nunevya opened a window and shouted, “Get aboard train, you idiots!”

“Huh?”

“What?”

The train had gone a hundred yards and was accelerating as the fox and the stork started running after it, each yelling at the other, “This is all YOUR fault!”

The kitten leaning against the lamppost watched them go and said, “Grownups are weird.”


***


“Tell me, Ivan Lavrentievich,” the bear said slowly.

“I tell you, Igor Nikolaevich,” the wolverine said, “you are ugly, and your mother dressed you funny.” The coffee cup he held in his paw looked ridiculously small. “But I think that was one of Embassy staff, nu?”

“Da, she appeared to be, Ivan Lavrentievich.” The bear sipped from the bottle of beer in his paw. It was too cold, and fizzed. It was not as good as Russian beer from Tsarogorod. “Should we tell the Major?”

“I think we should, Igor Nikolaevich. And we must tell him about her companions.”

“Must we?”

The wolverine gave the bear the eye. “Do not be weird boy.”

“Should we have stopped her, do you think?” Igor asked.

Ivan finished his beer. “We did not have orders.”

“Ah. That is so.”

“We go tell Major now.” The two agents of the Okhrana, the Tsarist secret police, fastidiously wiped their mouths with napkins, stood up, and left the train station.




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