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Chapter 2

"Disappeared?!" Lautrec asked, as he padded up to the distraught Synth in Zuki's apartment. "Like on the news...?"

"Yes! There was a humming sound, a bright flash, and he was gone!"

"Did you call the authorities?" Lautrec asked.

"Yes. But I'm scared... They'll take me away for questioning!"

"It's okay, it's okay," the panther reassured him. "Meanwhile... I guess I had better make sure of something."

So saying, he closed his eyes and pressed his front paws together as if praying, which in fact he was.

Moments later, a thin, flat strip of piece of paper floated down from the ceiling and curled around his nose.

"Tickertape!" the cyberjag said, excitedly. "It's a miracle!"

"You prayed to Bob...?" the Synth looked terrified. "Do you really want to get Him involved after what He did to me? What did He say...?"

"Oh," Lautrec said, straightening the message out and scanning through it. "I don't know if that's better or worse..."

"NOT ME - STOP - NINETY PERCENT CHANCE ALIENS - STOP - WATCH YOUR BACKS - BOB - STOP"

"That message is one more thing we'll have to explain to the police," Xerian sighed. "And if He thinks we're in trouble, I'm terrified what kind of help He is likely to attempt."

* * *

Shortly afterwards, Xerian was sat on Zuki's couch while he was questioned by two officials, a female lizard and a blue-uniformed male Synth.

"I'm really sorry, sir, but you are in possession of alien technology," the police Synth was saying.

"You can't take his brain!" Lautrec snarled. "I am his bodyguard and I cannot allow you to kill him without a warrant to that effect! And he is a celebrity, what's more! You won't get away with this!"

"It is not Xerian's brains we are concerned about, Mr. Lautrec," the lizard said, rolling her eyes. "It is you."

"No!" the cat yelped, looking terrified. "I haven't done anything! Well, apart from chipping the stairwell, but that was an accident! You can't kill me for that!"

"We are not barbarians," the Synth reassured him. "No harm will be done to you, but we must still take you into custody. Both of you. We do have a warrant for that, drawn up this morning."

"What?!" Xerian whimpered.

"Please try to undertand. Citizens of our world are apparently being kidnapped by an alien force. Prior to this event, the only similar such event has been the disappearance of Xerian here. We have to at least rule out either of your involvements in this situation! Our orders are to bring you in for observation for one week. If the disappearances continue unabated, which frankly I suspect they will, then that will clear you of suspicion and you will be released with full compensation for your trouble."

"Madness!" Lautrec snapped. "We called you to investigate the abduction of his boyfriend! His lover! And now you want to abduct us?! What kind of service do you call that?!"

"They have a point," Xerian said softly. "I trust you, Lautrec. I don't believe you are responsible. But you have to admit that you are an unknown quantity - at least let them rule out your involvement."

"But I can't cast so much as a light spell!" The panther wailed.

"Yet your employer gave a statement that you performed a ritual to summon that creepy-looking strip of paper," the police Synth pointed out, placing the strip of ticker-tape in an evidence bag.

"It's true," Xerian said. "If you were so inclined you could probably summon Bob and get him to do this."

"Boss, you're not helping!" the cat retorted, looking upset and offended. "Yes, I could pray to Bob, but so could you. So could they! And now we're being arrested on suspicion of witchcraft?!"

"Please, sir, don't make a scene out of this," the policewoman said. "It will only be for one week - probably less - and you will be treated with dignity and respect if you cooperate with our investigation. But we do have to bring you both in, willingly or otherwise."

"All right, all right", the armoured panther sighed, and sat down. "But the compensation had better be good. And if I find out that you're using this as an excuse to bunk off searching for his boyfriend in the meantime, there's going to be hell to pay. I was built by lawyers!"

"Hush," Xerian said, holding out his arms. "Come on, Lautrec. They're being nice about it. We should go with them, it's our civic duty." Grumbling to himself, Lautrec jumped up and the Synth carried him along as they followed the policewoman out of the apartment, with the Synth official trailing behind.

"Wait here please," the lizard said as they reached the hovercar, and took out a communicator, calling ahead.

"Uh oh," Lautrec said, looking around in panic. "Boss... I'm scared! I can hear something!"

"What...?" the police Synth looked concerned. "What the heck is that sound?"

"Help!" Lautrec begged as a haze began forming around Xerian. Suddenly a bright flash enveloped them. There was a loud popping sound, and both Synth and robotic cat were gone.

* * *

As the flash cleared, Xerian found himself standing on a large, circular disk in a metal-walled chamber, big cat still clutched to his chest. Glass doors slid open with a slight hiss as the air pressure equalised.

"Shit, shit, shit!" Lautrec said, jumping from his employer's arms and looking around the room with an expression of fear.

"Oh no, no no no..." Xerian moaned. "Not again!"

Two metal objects which they had assumed were part of the machinery turned and moved towards the pair. They were clearly machines, functional and metallic with little thought put into styling, personality or even charm. They walked on legs made from bare struts of metal and stopped just in front of the chamber entrance.

"Subject retrieved OK," the first robot said. "Warning: subjectcount greater than 1. subject 0 = Synth, 95% confidence. subject 1 = cello; violoncello, 60% confidence."

"What?!" Lautrec yelped.

"Separate and place in suspension chambers. Selected target = Synth."

"ACK," the other robot confirmed. "Selected target = Cello." So saying, they moved towards the pair with stilted, unnatural motions.

"Hey!" a voice said loudly. "Excuse me! Can you tell me the way to the nearest shoe shop?"

Both robots turned. "Error: Subject has escaped," the first one said. "Detaining. Fork and resume procedure."

"ACK," the second robot confirmed, and turned towards Xerian.

As the Synth watched, a turquoise creature with an orange visor and dull rubbery-looking skin waved a glossy black-palmed hand at them, and then hopped out of the room, bouncing down a metallic corridor on agile legs with one of the robots in pursuit. The second robot turned back and reached for Xerian.

Lautrec seized his chance and smashed at the creature's leg with a razor-taloned paw. The other robot toppled over and the cyberjag leaped on them, clawing and biting until the fallen robot's head separated from their body and they stopped moving.

"Let's go, boss," he said, glancing around cautiously. "We need to get out of here."

"Did you have to k-kill them?" Xerian looked appalled.

"Shouldn't have called me a cello," the big cat remarked.

"That's not funny!"

"Calm down, boss. I don't believe they were alive in the first place. I mean, give me some credit - if they'd showed any pain responses at all I'd have given them the benefit of the doubt and just subdued them.
"But they didn't. And you heard their speech - it was like a bunch of debug messages! They reminded me of Trixie, actually..."

"Who?" Xerian asked as they headed down the corridor in the opposite direction to the way the leaping creature had gone.

"Trixie was an evil death robot," the cyberjag said. "And yes, people have called me that admittedly, but Trixie was a computer program, part of an illegal robot army built by a mad incubus called The Professor.
"Those robots only had limited AI capabilities, just pattern matching and logic with no feelings, no soul. Trixie was just a machine in the truest sense, not a conscious intelligence like you or I. I think the robot I attacked was like that - at least, I hope it was."

"I just hope you're right," Xerian said. "We've had advanced AI and electronic sentience for so long, I've never really seen anything this crude..."

As they rounded the corridor, they almost ran into a short creature with a visored face, black fur and polished black armour. He raised his gun and took aim, loosing a round above Xerian's head.

"Dive!" Lautrec screamed, as the creature switched aim to him and fired, the shot ricocheting from his armour. Xerian leapt aside and rolled as the cyberjag coiled ready to spring. "Halt!" he warned, growling. "Leave us alone! Flee - or die! I'm a deadly violoncello and I've already destroyed one of your robots!"

"Wait! Wait!" the creature protested, lifting a leather-gauntleted hand and lowering his gun slightly. "You're not Them! You're from the planet! Quickly! Follow me!"

"What?! You just shot me!" the panther snarled. "Why the hell should we trust you?"

"No time! If you've escaped, the robots will be trying to catch you! Come with me! Run!"

"I don't like it, but they're right - we don't have anywhere else to go," Xerian admitted, picking himself up. "But keep your guard up!"

* * *

The fluffy creature quickly pressed a button on one of the corridors and a service hatch opened. He gestured for the other two to get inside and then followed swiftly, pressing another button to close the hatch. They crept down the maintenance corridor for a few metres and then came to a halt. "That should do," the creature announced.

"Alright. Who are you, and what do you want?" Lautrec demanded angrily.

"Sorry," the creature said. "I thought you were from Them. The name's Quirk," he added holding out a hand.

At that moment, the creature's red glowing eyes went out and were replaced by the word "KiLL" which flashed on his visor. Xerian took a step backwards and Lautrec stood between them, eyeing the furred creature suspiciously and starting to curl up ready to pounce.

"Stoppit," the creature snapped, and punched his own head a few times until the word disappeared and his eyes returned. "Damn implants," he said apologetically. "I was built to be an assassin, but... I guess I didn't make the grade. Not quite sure what happened after that, clearly I escaped the scrap heap somehow."

"So are you planning to assassinate my boss? Because I am allowed to defend him with lethal force," Lautrec growled menacingly, and showed his claws.

"I don't want to kill him, no. But the voices in my head say I should. One second..."

Quirk pulled a device from his belt and placed it against his head for a second. His electronic eyes displayed shock for a few moments, and then he stowed the device away again.

"Guhh! Sorry, that will quiet them down for a while. Normally I'd be able to get a repair job but... Eh, being a stowaway on an interstellar destroyer... not the best place for it."

"'The voices in your head'...?" Xerian asked, backing away further. "That is usually considered a sign of insanity."

"I'm a Protogen," Quirk said irritably. "My cyber-implants are all loaded up with combat 'wares to make me the perfect killer... They keep trying to override my free will. But I can keep 'em in check. Most of the time..."

"Is that why you're called Quirk? Because you're... buggy?" Xerian asked, looking appalled.

"Pretty much. Now, you look like an abductee from the planet, so unless you're part of a clever ruse by His Imperial Majesty, I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to be here either. So how about we band together? I'll show you my hideout, we'll be safer there."

Xerian and Lautrec exchanged glances. "I don't think we have much choice," the panther sighed unhappily.