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9pm, Furtropolis Metropolitan Stadium, Backstage. Across from me, the superstar pop idol Neon Ivory casually reclines on her seat, sipping only the most premium of bottled waters, and glistening with sweat. She’s fresh off the stage after yet another sold-out performance, marking her third week of packed seats and roaring crowds, a truly crowning achievement to what had started as an 'ambitious' solo-comeback tour. And yet despite her non-stop schedule, the iconic diva looks ready to stride back out for another encore, which would make her sixth tonight.
As I sit across from her, I’m struck by how graceful and elegant she looks. The pygmy elephant may only measure up to half the height of her fully-grown pachyderm peers, but with her flawless white hide, her stunning neon blue hair, and her perfect pink accents, this is a star who commands any space she’s in. And not just because her now world-famous backside is almost as wide as she is tall. In previous interviews, that legendary diva derriere had always taken two chairs to support.
Today, she’s brought her own.
M: Miss Ivory. Firstly, thank you for agreeing to this interview. We at Pawdio Music Entertainment Inc. are so grateful that you could make the time to speak with us given your busy schedule. How are you doing tonight?
NI: Like, no problem! I’m always happy to give some time to chat to the little people! And I’m, like, perfect as always. I mean, look at me, I’m a superstar! Plus I’ve got, like, the best seat in the house. [Laughter]
M: [Laughter] That you are and that you do, Miss Ivory, though we’ll get to that later. I think its fair to say that, after your departure from your previous pop group, N3ON-5, few people could have predicted such a meteoric rise in your solo career, especially so soon, and with the salacious rumors surrounding your leaving still in circulation. How does it feel to prove those people wrong?
NI: Wow, like, what an insightful question! I mean, I guess I don’t really feel anything, y’know? ‘Cause I was always going to succeed, right? Those jealous bitches only threw me out of N3ON because I was upstaging them, but it's not like you can turn all this off.
[Neon gestures down to her body, shifting her weight slightly. Beneath her, her ‘chair’ struggles to keep holding the elephant booty aloft.]
NI: So sure, those N3ON bitches kicked me out and tried to spread some rumors of me being a, like, ‘violent narcissist’ and ‘literally the worst to work with’ and that I ‘used Ruby’s face as a sweat rag’, but, like, that’s the industry, y’know? But if they want to be petty that’s on them. I don’t need dumb rumours to prove I’m the best. After all, who’s playing the Furtropolis Metropolitan Stadium, and who’s been bumped out to, like, the Hicktown Community Auditorium or wherever they’re playing now?
M: Yes, it was a bold choice for The Stadium to cancel their show contract with N3ON-5 in the middle of their tour and sign you to play instead, but with the soaring popularity of your performances after the QK incident, I think it’s safe to say that they’ve made the right choice.
NI: Right? Hehe, like, stay jelly, N3ON! Being at the bottom just makes it easier for you to kiss my ass, Stacy!
[As she references her previous bandmate and leader of N3ON-5, Stacy Verde (A.K.A. Neon Emerald), Ivory playfully slaps her behemoth backside, causing her mountainous booty cheeks to slap and wobble together. Beneath her, Ivory’s seat whimpers in displeasure, a sound that becomes not uncommon throughout the interview each time Ivory’s two-tonne form shifts position.]
M: I’m sure they are. It was also a bold choice to start your comeback tour in direct opposition to their ‘N3ON Rainglow 2031’ tour, and likely accounted for the early flagging in your audience numbers, but from where we’re both sitting now, it’s easy to see who’s come out on top.
M: And speaking of, I’m sure all our readers at home are just dying to hear from you first hand about the Quantum Knight incident! While videos of the superpowered stagecrashing have gone viral on social media in the weeks since, everyone at home just wants to know: What was it like to deliver such a brutal butt-beatdown to that dumb horse?
NI: Oh wow, it was like, SO good. Can you believe she had the gall to land on my stage in the middle of my performance and accuse ME of some plot to, like, hypnotize my predominantly-elephant audience with subliminally planted messages in order to have them go storm the N3ON-5 performance and squash those bitches live on stage? What a dweeb! So, like, obviously I wasn’t gonna just let her get away with that.
QK: Mmrrppphh! [Inaudible, likely due to the fat elephant ass cheeks bouncing on her face.]
NI: Yeah, that’s right, loser! We’re talking about you! Keep soaking up that booty sweat and maybe you’ll absorb some talent too! [Laughter] Anyway, like, obviously I just did what any great performer would do and worked it into my performance. I didn’t even, like, miss a beat before I hip-checked her across the stage, which is totally what shattered her armor, no matter what those nerds online are saying about ‘sonic frequencies in the music tuned to resonate with the metal’ or whatever. But yeah, then it was time for the half-pirouette into that extended twerking sequence anyway, so I just hammered her face for a bit.
M: Indeed, and then the sweatrag treatment, correct?
NI: Oh yeah, she like, tried to fight back during that one, but my pre-performance spicy burrito feast wasn’t sitting well with me anyway, so I think that really took the fight out of her.
M: And then the extended butt-drop sequence, if memory serves…
NI: Haha, yeah! You should’ve seen her dumb face from my point of view! God she was just drowning in sweat by the end of that, so I decided to give her a break. So that was when I dragged her to her knees, shoved the spare microphone in her mouth and started ripping ass to add some extra bass to the music. The crowd loved that one, so, like, obviously I’ve incorporated that into my routine for every show since. But yeah, by the time I was done with that she was pretty much done and so was my performance, so I gave her the KO blow with my booty hammer, and that was that!
M: Wow. SO brave. You truly are an absolute icon, Miss Ivory, and you’ve truly taught a lesson to these so-called ‘superheros’ who think they can flaunt the law so flagrantly. I am contractually obligated to ask, was there any evidence that any of her claims were true?
NI: Oh, there was like, some weird computer glitch after the show and like, all the sound files were wiped? It was so weird. But like, these things happen, y’know? And besides, why would I need to have my fans flatten those dumb N3ON bitches now that I’m crushing them in ticket sales? [Laughter]
M: [Laughter] That is so true, Miss Ivory. It would also be quite biased journalism to not mention that Quantum Knight herself has previously stated that N3ON-5 is her favorite band. I think we can safely say that this is a classic case of a superhero abusing their power, and of a jealous fan gone mad.
QK: Mrrrrpphh! [Again inaudible. Probably. We didn’t bother to listen.]
M: Well, maybe now she’ll learn to appreciate a true star. I hear the two of you have become almost inseparable since the incident?
NI: Oh she comes eeeeverywhere with me.
[Ivory excitedly bounces on her seat’s face. The sweaty squelching noise that comes from the depths of her crack, where QK’s muzzle is buried, are a true testament to how hard she works for her audience]
NI: I use her for seats in interviews, I use her as a sweatrag after a show, I practice all my new moves and routines on her, and as everyone knows now, I’m incorporating her into every performance. The fans love it. Have you seen the new ‘QK Gets Used By Ivory Part 7’ compilation online? It already has like, a trillion views.
M: Eight point seven million, I believe-
NI: Yeah whatevs. Anyway the superhero league’s trying to sue to get her back or something, but the great thing about being this popular is that I have, like, the BEST lawyers money can buy now! They say I can probably keep her until the end of my tour, in exchange for dropping the charges against her for attacking me. It's gonna suck, but I’ve already started producing some commemorative, ‘dumb horse bitch’ underwear as merch for my ultra-fans. They’ve got this dweeb’s face stretched over them. [Laughter]
QK: [Muffled screaming.]
M: [Laughter] Wow, that’s a must-buy for any Neon Ivory fan out there! I’ll certainly be ordering mine A.S.A.P.
NI: Totes! Get in quick cause they’re goin’ hella fast.
QK: [Muffled sobbing.]
M: Well, Miss Ivory, thank you for speaking with Pawdio Music Entertainment, but it seems that’s all we have time for. Do you have any last words for the fans at home?
NI: Expect more greatness from me, ‘cause this ‘phant’s only just getting started! Oh, and if you’re a N3ON nerd, then huff my ass and prepare to get crushed, dweeb!
M: Neon Ivory, thank you for your time.
-Melissa Rouge, Chief Creative Reporter, Pawdio Music Entertainment Inc.
It seems that QK's stopped this evil elephant and saved the lives of her favourite band, but at quite the personal cost to herself and her reputation. She'll be let free eventually, but until then she's going to be sitting through a lot more interviews like this... Well, technically Ivory will be doing most of the sitting.
Just a little animation and story snippet to introduce a new QK villain, the bratty diva 'phant Neon Ivory. She basically came about because I wanted to see if it was possible to make a shortstack elephant character, and lo and behold, it is! She likely won't feature in the game, but I may do more animations or stories with her in the future.
Neon Ivory and Quantum Knight © me.
Gas alt: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/52079110/
As I sit across from her, I’m struck by how graceful and elegant she looks. The pygmy elephant may only measure up to half the height of her fully-grown pachyderm peers, but with her flawless white hide, her stunning neon blue hair, and her perfect pink accents, this is a star who commands any space she’s in. And not just because her now world-famous backside is almost as wide as she is tall. In previous interviews, that legendary diva derriere had always taken two chairs to support.
Today, she’s brought her own.
M: Miss Ivory. Firstly, thank you for agreeing to this interview. We at Pawdio Music Entertainment Inc. are so grateful that you could make the time to speak with us given your busy schedule. How are you doing tonight?
NI: Like, no problem! I’m always happy to give some time to chat to the little people! And I’m, like, perfect as always. I mean, look at me, I’m a superstar! Plus I’ve got, like, the best seat in the house. [Laughter]
M: [Laughter] That you are and that you do, Miss Ivory, though we’ll get to that later. I think its fair to say that, after your departure from your previous pop group, N3ON-5, few people could have predicted such a meteoric rise in your solo career, especially so soon, and with the salacious rumors surrounding your leaving still in circulation. How does it feel to prove those people wrong?
NI: Wow, like, what an insightful question! I mean, I guess I don’t really feel anything, y’know? ‘Cause I was always going to succeed, right? Those jealous bitches only threw me out of N3ON because I was upstaging them, but it's not like you can turn all this off.
[Neon gestures down to her body, shifting her weight slightly. Beneath her, her ‘chair’ struggles to keep holding the elephant booty aloft.]
NI: So sure, those N3ON bitches kicked me out and tried to spread some rumors of me being a, like, ‘violent narcissist’ and ‘literally the worst to work with’ and that I ‘used Ruby’s face as a sweat rag’, but, like, that’s the industry, y’know? But if they want to be petty that’s on them. I don’t need dumb rumours to prove I’m the best. After all, who’s playing the Furtropolis Metropolitan Stadium, and who’s been bumped out to, like, the Hicktown Community Auditorium or wherever they’re playing now?
M: Yes, it was a bold choice for The Stadium to cancel their show contract with N3ON-5 in the middle of their tour and sign you to play instead, but with the soaring popularity of your performances after the QK incident, I think it’s safe to say that they’ve made the right choice.
NI: Right? Hehe, like, stay jelly, N3ON! Being at the bottom just makes it easier for you to kiss my ass, Stacy!
[As she references her previous bandmate and leader of N3ON-5, Stacy Verde (A.K.A. Neon Emerald), Ivory playfully slaps her behemoth backside, causing her mountainous booty cheeks to slap and wobble together. Beneath her, Ivory’s seat whimpers in displeasure, a sound that becomes not uncommon throughout the interview each time Ivory’s two-tonne form shifts position.]
M: I’m sure they are. It was also a bold choice to start your comeback tour in direct opposition to their ‘N3ON Rainglow 2031’ tour, and likely accounted for the early flagging in your audience numbers, but from where we’re both sitting now, it’s easy to see who’s come out on top.
M: And speaking of, I’m sure all our readers at home are just dying to hear from you first hand about the Quantum Knight incident! While videos of the superpowered stagecrashing have gone viral on social media in the weeks since, everyone at home just wants to know: What was it like to deliver such a brutal butt-beatdown to that dumb horse?
NI: Oh wow, it was like, SO good. Can you believe she had the gall to land on my stage in the middle of my performance and accuse ME of some plot to, like, hypnotize my predominantly-elephant audience with subliminally planted messages in order to have them go storm the N3ON-5 performance and squash those bitches live on stage? What a dweeb! So, like, obviously I wasn’t gonna just let her get away with that.
QK: Mmrrppphh! [Inaudible, likely due to the fat elephant ass cheeks bouncing on her face.]
NI: Yeah, that’s right, loser! We’re talking about you! Keep soaking up that booty sweat and maybe you’ll absorb some talent too! [Laughter] Anyway, like, obviously I just did what any great performer would do and worked it into my performance. I didn’t even, like, miss a beat before I hip-checked her across the stage, which is totally what shattered her armor, no matter what those nerds online are saying about ‘sonic frequencies in the music tuned to resonate with the metal’ or whatever. But yeah, then it was time for the half-pirouette into that extended twerking sequence anyway, so I just hammered her face for a bit.
M: Indeed, and then the sweatrag treatment, correct?
NI: Oh yeah, she like, tried to fight back during that one, but my pre-performance spicy burrito feast wasn’t sitting well with me anyway, so I think that really took the fight out of her.
M: And then the extended butt-drop sequence, if memory serves…
NI: Haha, yeah! You should’ve seen her dumb face from my point of view! God she was just drowning in sweat by the end of that, so I decided to give her a break. So that was when I dragged her to her knees, shoved the spare microphone in her mouth and started ripping ass to add some extra bass to the music. The crowd loved that one, so, like, obviously I’ve incorporated that into my routine for every show since. But yeah, by the time I was done with that she was pretty much done and so was my performance, so I gave her the KO blow with my booty hammer, and that was that!
M: Wow. SO brave. You truly are an absolute icon, Miss Ivory, and you’ve truly taught a lesson to these so-called ‘superheros’ who think they can flaunt the law so flagrantly. I am contractually obligated to ask, was there any evidence that any of her claims were true?
NI: Oh, there was like, some weird computer glitch after the show and like, all the sound files were wiped? It was so weird. But like, these things happen, y’know? And besides, why would I need to have my fans flatten those dumb N3ON bitches now that I’m crushing them in ticket sales? [Laughter]
M: [Laughter] That is so true, Miss Ivory. It would also be quite biased journalism to not mention that Quantum Knight herself has previously stated that N3ON-5 is her favorite band. I think we can safely say that this is a classic case of a superhero abusing their power, and of a jealous fan gone mad.
QK: Mrrrrpphh! [Again inaudible. Probably. We didn’t bother to listen.]
M: Well, maybe now she’ll learn to appreciate a true star. I hear the two of you have become almost inseparable since the incident?
NI: Oh she comes eeeeverywhere with me.
[Ivory excitedly bounces on her seat’s face. The sweaty squelching noise that comes from the depths of her crack, where QK’s muzzle is buried, are a true testament to how hard she works for her audience]
NI: I use her for seats in interviews, I use her as a sweatrag after a show, I practice all my new moves and routines on her, and as everyone knows now, I’m incorporating her into every performance. The fans love it. Have you seen the new ‘QK Gets Used By Ivory Part 7’ compilation online? It already has like, a trillion views.
M: Eight point seven million, I believe-
NI: Yeah whatevs. Anyway the superhero league’s trying to sue to get her back or something, but the great thing about being this popular is that I have, like, the BEST lawyers money can buy now! They say I can probably keep her until the end of my tour, in exchange for dropping the charges against her for attacking me. It's gonna suck, but I’ve already started producing some commemorative, ‘dumb horse bitch’ underwear as merch for my ultra-fans. They’ve got this dweeb’s face stretched over them. [Laughter]
QK: [Muffled screaming.]
M: [Laughter] Wow, that’s a must-buy for any Neon Ivory fan out there! I’ll certainly be ordering mine A.S.A.P.
NI: Totes! Get in quick cause they’re goin’ hella fast.
QK: [Muffled sobbing.]
M: Well, Miss Ivory, thank you for speaking with Pawdio Music Entertainment, but it seems that’s all we have time for. Do you have any last words for the fans at home?
NI: Expect more greatness from me, ‘cause this ‘phant’s only just getting started! Oh, and if you’re a N3ON nerd, then huff my ass and prepare to get crushed, dweeb!
M: Neon Ivory, thank you for your time.
-Melissa Rouge, Chief Creative Reporter, Pawdio Music Entertainment Inc.
It seems that QK's stopped this evil elephant and saved the lives of her favourite band, but at quite the personal cost to herself and her reputation. She'll be let free eventually, but until then she's going to be sitting through a lot more interviews like this... Well, technically Ivory will be doing most of the sitting.
Just a little animation and story snippet to introduce a new QK villain, the bratty diva 'phant Neon Ivory. She basically came about because I wanted to see if it was possible to make a shortstack elephant character, and lo and behold, it is! She likely won't feature in the game, but I may do more animations or stories with her in the future.
Neon Ivory and Quantum Knight © me.
Gas alt: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/52079110/
Category Artwork (Digital) / General Furry Art
Species Elephant
Size 1000 x 1090px
File Size 83.5 kB
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