I am impressed by the visceral description of his worsening symptoms. Good job!

I'm really glad to hear you thought the details about his wound went well; I usually drum up stuff that's a bit more wholesome or silly, but I actually quite like getting a bit morbidly graphic at times.

I really appreciate you having read over this one, thank you for that.

Wait, was he turning into a husker?

My answer to that: I'm going to leave that up to your imagination.

Initially, yes, that's what I was thinking. Kind of just changed my mind and said 'he has an unexplained infection' as I started drafting this up since I'm already working on a zombie-like monster story.

Whatever you decide, I just want to say thank you for reading this one over; much appreciated.

I really, really enjoy how you set the scene for this story. You do a great job at conveying both setting and mood. Describing cracks as "like crooked fingers grasping at something" is a hell of a way to make us feel uneasy, and your choice of words like "grossly humid" and "unpleasant musk" drive that feeling home. I also liked how your descriptions showed parts of the scene playing off each other. The light from his rifle illuminating the room, the red light slowly blinking -- stuff like this really makes a scene feel alive, instead of just being a stage backdrop.

I enjoyed the whole story, but those first few paragraphs really stood out to me. Great stuff ^w^

I really appreciate you thought the setting was described well; I tend to either neglect it or leave it rather bare-bones in terms of detail so I'm glad to hear you thought I set the scene well enough.

Thank you much for looking this one over.

Sweet Wheel of Cheddar, This story is graphic in both
meanings of the word. Reading this, I was almost
sucked into the dalmatian's world. Well done!

'Sweet Wheel of Cheddar', I'm sorry, I laughed a bit too much at that. You mouse-y types are funny.

I'm really glad you thought the little world building was good enough to almost drag you in. Just take care if it does: they are everywhere and cells for the plasma rifles are in short supply.

Thank you for taking the time to read through this one, it's much appreciated.

Great usage of descriptions and metaphors, very interesting read, even if it ruined my lunch lol

I really appreciate you thought I managed to drum up everything well enough... Uhm, sorry about your lunch, my bad...

Thank you much for giving it a read.

I admit I thought he was arming some sort of device to blow the city up, glad it was more hopeful than that!

"Without a second of hesitation, the canine hoisted his firearm up to his shoulder and focused on the cretin. A blast of high energy plasma was ejected from the barrel with the slightest squeeze of his finger."

Was this meant to be 'creature'?

And yes suitably creepy!

Oh, don't worry: blowing up the city was plan B, he's got the demo charges in his backpack.

After having looked up the formal definition of the word, I have since changed that line to more accurately (and less insensitively / offensively) describe the monsters in the story (even the informal definition did not really work here).

I greatly appreciate that you brought that up to me and do sincerely apologize for using such language (I'm afraid I'm one of those 'speak-before-you-think' types and did not recognize that my loose use of the term 'cretin' was significantly more insensitive than I had initially believed).

All in all, I very much appreciate you having read this one over; thank you much for that.

Thanks FtD, though you don't need to apologise to me, I'm not easily offended. However that really is an outdated word and it's probably better not to use it.

As for blowing up the city, glad that wasn't necessary!

And you're welcome! ;)

Gotta love hope. It'll get ya places.

Also (and I know everyone's saying it, but I gotta say it too) I absolutely love your descriptions in this. They set the scene and mood so well. There's a lot about description that I could learn from you, I'm sure.

The whole 'hope' angle is a bit trope-y, but you can't deny that it certainly is effective.

I appreciate you (and everyone else) saying you thought I did the descriptions well enough. I'm afraid you probably don't want to learn ANYTHING from me, though *nervous laugh*. This one was probably just a bit of a lucky fluke, y'know? Well, now that I think about it, I suppose you might learn how NOT to do it!

Thank you much for reading through this one, I really appreciate it.

now this was so different from your usual, and a most excellent read... very very good, and you have my compliments... you were hiding your talents behind that 'I'm not very good' expression of yours, weren't you?

Cheers and a solid bravo...

Vix

Talent? Me? I appreciate you saying so, but this was just a lucky, little accident right here. I'm grateful you thought it went well, hopefully next time will be just as well done.

Thank you as always for checking it out, I really appreciate your thoughts.

There was nothing accidental about it so stop that right now!

Keep riting... yes I spelled it that way on purpose...

Vix