Monster Zone
by A. Griffin

---

Little kid,
your tail is being brought
straight home,
cause you went and yanked your mom
into the monster zone.

You knew you weren't supposed to go,
either with friends
or all alone,
and now your mom can't fit indoors
because the ceiling's far too low.

Your mom loves music at the park,
she might dig having big ears,
but with the staring that would come,
she'd be blushing for years.

Putting her glasses on,
is now somewhat of a puzzle,
because her bifocals won't balance
when they're placed upon her muzzle.

As for you,
in any shape you take,
you're still the kid I love,
but what's a dad to do,
when their child won't fit in the tub?

You laugh,
but there's no way,
like this,
that you can take a bath,
and at the local zoo,
your neck would outdo a giraffe's.

Your shenanigans
got you,
and your mom
transformed into creatures,
and when you changed,
your paws
exploded
right out of
your sneakers.

A tail
with a mouth
is not something
most folks
would expect,
but at least you're happy,
because you always
wanted a pet.

You know our apartment's rules -
cats and doggies will not do,
though I don't think they can balk,
when the pet
is a part of you.

It has that silly grin,
and the tongue
that drips with drool,
so there's really no way
you can go like this,
to Sunday school.

It would eat up all the pretzels
the vicar
likes to give out,
and the priest would surely think
we're heretics without a doubt.

And for your weekday sports
I fear
you'll need to do without -
your softball helmet
just won't fit
over your
critter snout.

And there's absolutely
no way
you can go to the buffet,
'cause that mouth
on the end
of your tail
won't know how to behave.

It would gobble all the turkey,
manicotti
and canapes -
and slurp down spaghetti,
dumplings, donuts,
and the deviled eggs.

If we got on the food line,
we would surely be refused,
and we'd forever have to order
a la carte
from the menu.

At the book store,
your want for reading
is healthy and varied,
but that tail of yours
would eat up every tale
the business carries.

My darling child,
I adore you,
but why must you be wild?
Halloween's just one month away,
at least then,
you'd be in style.

Raising a kid like you
is always
a thrill ride,
but until you're human,
you and your tail
gotta stay inside.

The changes last a week,
so I hope you'll stay amused,
because your toys,
with monster paws
are difficult to use.

I'll bake several dozen cookies,
then put on a cartoon tape,
and I'll toss some out the window
so your mom can have a taste.

It's been a crazy day,
but this night will be quite nice -
we'll have
a little quiet time
to put madness on ice.

Your monster zone adventure,
reminds us all -
life can be strange.

But I'll just be thankful,
you,
my precious kid,
are home and safe.

---

Thanks for reading!

So I had the first stanza of this poem in my head for many months, but I didn't sit down and actually type it out and start building it till a couple of days ago.

From start to finish in terms of actually dedicating it to a fixed form, this was probably among the quicker poems I've completed.

Illustration by the absolutely incredible   keetahspacecat

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