Tending One’s Garden
© 2023 by Walter Reimer
(Stanislaus Coon, Ivar Vargsson and the Commander the Lord MacRuari of That Ilk are courtesy of E.O. Costello. Thanks!)


Thumbnail art by  tegerio



For a long moment, all Commander the Lord MacRuari of That Ilk did was sit and meet my gaze unflinchingly.

“Beware looking into the Abyss, for the Abyss may look into you,” Ivar said with a shudder.

The buck sat back after that long moment passed, and then got to his hooves and crossed to a sideboard along one wall of his office, returning with a bottle of his favored single malt, a carafe of water, and two glasses. He poured two measures of the whisky into the glasses, added a little water to one, and placed the glass on his side of the desk.

He gently pushed the second glass toward me, and placed the carafe beside it. A moment’s hesitation, and he tipped a few drops of water into my glass before he sat down.

I stared at the glass before looking across the desk at him. It was the exact amount of water I always added to my whisky. “How - ?”

The Commander smiled broadly. “It’s been many years since I did field work, Captain, but I’ve never lost my observational skills. And you are a fur of very regular habits, and you know how to show the proper respect to whisky when it’s set before you.” Despite myself, I could feel my smile and he said, “Captain, I want you to take your time, and after you’ve fortified yourself, we shall have a talk.”

“Thank you, Sir.” I took hold of my glass and raised it in salute. “His Majesty.”

“Deus preserve him,” the buck said, and for several minutes we just sat and savored our drinks.

At length, my glass was empty, and I admired the play of light on the tumbler before I set it aside. “I don’t think,” I said slowly, “that I’m suited for f-field work anymore, Sir, and there are much better analysts than myself.”

The MacRuari still had a bare sip remaining in his glass. “Go on.”

“My commission had me seconded to Three for the duration of hostilities.” I smiled and felt my tail swish. “It was hinted by the Chief Constable that I would find my path to his job to be much smoother when I came back.”

“Hmm,” the buck said. He slowly drank the last of the whisky in his glass and said, “Yes, that’s what he and I agreed upon.” My ears perked, and he added, “He insisted on it.” He took a breath. “I understand why you wish to leave, Captain. This assignment could not have been easy for you, since you are still under a doctor’s care for your earlier experiences.”

I kept silent, only nodding.

“Still, with that being understood, I will hate to lose you,” the deer said, tapping a hoof against the floor. “Right now, however, we have things to be done. Individual furs may come and go, but the bureaucracy lives on, and I need you to send me a formal request for retirement, to include resigning your commission.”

“Yes, Sir.” I got to my feet, saluted, and left the office.

I entered my quarters and stopped at the sight of a white-furred feline femme wearing trousers and a shirt seated on the small sofa. She looked up and I was startled to see that it was Dr. Nushaar, my psychotherapist. “What are you doing here?” I asked.

She got to her feet and walked up to me. “I’d heard that you came back from your mission,” she said. She smiled. “Are you all right?”

“It’s – it’s been hard,” I admitted, and I felt my tail bottle as she slipped her arms around me and she kissed my cheek.

I confess that I hesitated, but as the door closed my arms went around her and I just hugged her, holding onto her as if she were an island of sanity in a universe gone mad.

“An office,” Ivar observed, “that I can not provide.” I sensed him taking a step back into the shadows.

After a few moments I drew back slightly and looked into those undeniably pretty blue eyes of hers. “Doctor – “

“Anitra.”

“Anitra, I’ve asked to retire. I need to send a memo to the Commander.”

She blinked. “Do you think the Commander will accept it?”

“He already said he would.”

The doctor in my arms slowly began to smile, and I felt rather warm. “Good,” she said. “I can turn mine in as well.”

“Wait, what?”

She let me go, but placed her paws on my shoulders. “Stanislaus, I want to go with you.”

“But – “

“But we can talk about it later,” she said as she began to unfasten my uniform jacket.

“Hm,” Ivar murmured. “Perhaps not a Soldier’s Farewell, but definitely a Soldier’s Welcome.”

“Oh, stuff it, Ivar.”

I heard the wolf’s chuckle. “I fear, my dear Stanislaus, that for now you are quite on your own,” and he receded further into the recesses of my mind as, my jacket now lying on the floor, Anitra took my paw and led me, unresisting, to my bedroom.


***


I stirred awake, momentarily disoriented.

Yes, I was in my bedroom; late-afternoon sunlight was slanting in through the curtains, and there was a beautiful young femme curled up beside me. She blinked her eyes open and she smiled lazily before stretching. “Hello, Stanislaus. Sleep well?” she said softly.

“Very soundly, Anitra,” I replied. “How do you feel?”

“All over,” she chuckled before rolling onto her back and sitting up in bed. The sheet slid down to her lap, and I was a little distracted until she said, “I still want to go with you.”

I closed my eyes, reopened them. Yes, she was still there.

“Aren’t you needed here?” I asked.

She looked down at me, smiled, and twisted to rest against my chest. She gave me a light peck on the tip of my nose. “Can you keep a secret?”

“I’ll assume the question is rhetorical.”

“There are ten therapists assigned to the Third Directorate,” she said, moving a fingertip through the fur on my chest, “and most of the others have nothing to do but draw their pay. You are my only patient.”

“Only?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “And I’ve been worrying about you, and I like you.” Her ears dipped in a blush. “I was so scared when I kissed you before you left.”

“You were scared?”

“A doctor shouldn’t fall in love with her patient.”

I felt my heart hammering. “You – you love me?”

Anitra caught her lower lip in her teeth and looked down at my chest before meeting my gaze and nodding.

“Clearly, she hopes that you reciprocate,” Ivar said.

“Obviously.”

I reached up and cupped her face in my paws. “I . . . I won’t deny, Anitra,” I said, “that I’ve entertained a few thoughts about you . . . well, you and me.”

“So . . . that’s not a ‘no.’”

“No, it’s not.”

My heart rate slowed.

She grinned and dipped down to give me a kiss, which I reciprocated with some enthusiasm. When we parted she said, “Will you go home after you retire?”

“Yes.” I smiled. “I think you’d like New Pontmeirion. Nice climate. Where are you from?”

“Kormorant,” she said, “and if I never see that ice ball again it’ll be too soon.”

“There is one thing we need to do before we get to see my home, Anitra.”

“Oh?”

“We have to submit our resignations.”

She chuckled. “Yes, I think I rushed things a bit.”

“I’m not complaining. Are you?”

The femme in my arms made a show of thinking before shaking her head. “No.”


***


I sent my letter in to the Commander, while Anitra sent hers to her superior, the base Medical Officer.

We had dinner that night.

I was in my office the next day, sorting through reports and analyses just before lunch when my padd chimed. “Coon.”

It was the Commander. “Report to my office, Captain.”

“Yes, Sir.” The padd went blank. I folded it and stuffed it in a pocket and, after locking away the classified materials I had on the desk, I headed for the buck’s office.

The base’s M.O. was in the office with the Commander, with Anitra seated facing them. There was an empty chair beside hers, and the Commander waved for me to sit down. “I wasn’t aware that you were in a relationship with Dr. Nushaar, Captain,” the buck said.

“I didn’t know I was either, Sir,” I said, “until yesterday.” Anitra smiled at that.

“Unethical behavior,” the Medical Officer, a tall and slightly-built equine, grumbled at Dr. Nushaar. “A reprimand will be placed in your file.”

“Yes, Sir,” she said. She failed to look contrite.

The M.O.’s ears swiveled and he gave an irritated flip of a paw. “Oh, very well. Your resignation is accepted, Doctor.”

“Thank you, Sir,” Anitra said, but she said it as he walked out of the office.

“As for you, Captain,” the MacRuari said, “I shall be forwarding your resignation to the Director of Intelligence, and I would advise you to speak with Personnel. Then,” and he raised an eyebrow, “you may want to contact the Chief Constable on New Pontmeirion. It’s only courteous, you know.”

“Yes, Sir. I’ll see to both immediately.”

“Good. The two of you aren’t in any hurry to get married, are you?” I looked at Anitra, she looked at me, and we both shook our heads negatively. “Good. Dismissed, both of you.”


***


There remains very little to tell.

Ten days after we submitted our resignations, I was mustered out. I’d already bought a number of civilian clothes, and we had tickets on a liner to take us to New Pontmeirion.

Yes, a liner. I was done with warships, transports, and fast courier ships.

New Pontmeirion was as I recalled it; a beautiful and largely agricultural world, popular with tourists. We visited my parents, who were pleased to meet Anitra and happy that I’d done my service to Terra. I had met her mother via hypercommunications link, and the Kormoranter appeared happy with her daughter’s choice.

I discovered after we’d landed that I had a job already waiting for me. I was to be the Deputy Chief Constable for a quiet, out of the way district of the planet. District Six was actually a very quiet spot, with few crimes for my new staff to contend with.

Even Ivar seemed satisfied.

A month after we arrived, Anitra announced that she was pregnant, and we visited the civil registrar’s office to get married a month after that. She laughed when I carried her over the threshold of our home in Eilonwy.

Feeling a bit restless for something to do apart from dote on Anitra, who was starting to establish a private practice, I broke ground near the house and set up a garden. It’s doing quite well; in addition to flowers, we don’t want for herbs for seasoning our dinner. There’s even a small stand of catnip for special occasions.

I set up a smaller garden, on a knoll overlooking the sea, and in the center of it I put up a small stone monolith, maybe a meter tall. I had to look up the right term, but it’s called a menhir.

It’s unmarked, but that’s unnecessary.

Ivar approved of it.

The lupine revenant in my head also approved when Anitra gave birth to our son and I named him Ivar.

“He will be a fine young fellow,” Ivar said.

“Thank you, Ivar,” I said. “For all that you did for me.”

“Never fear,” the lupine whispered in my mind. “I find your mind quite congenial, and shall set up light housekeeping somewhere, until I hear that I am needed again."

Those moments have been rather few and far between, but there are times when I’ll awaken from a dream, my heart pounding in my chest. But I’ll see the sunlight coming through the skylight of our bedroom, and feel my beloved stirring next to me, and I’ll relax.




Eilonwy, New Pontmeirion
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