“Baby…” Salad Fingers paused as he looked at his newborn daughter. “Joanne is born today. The angels say she’s here to stay.”

Funny how Salad had been through the most excruciating pain in his life just a couple minutes ago, and now the pain was gone. He now was holding his baby, swaddled safely in his sweater.

“I-I can assure you one thing, darling, I’m going to give you the childhood I never had. I’ll keep you safe. That’s a promise I shan’t break.”

Salad then lifted Joanne up and kissed her forehead. She cooed softly in response.


so that’s the little rascal who’s been giving Salad a difficult time sleeping. fun fact, Joanne is somewhat inspired by the officially licensed salad fingers plush. i was originally going to give her big bulging eyes like said plush but i ditched it.