FA+
Shop
1265
Views
Views
31
Favorites
Favorites
Category
Artwork (Digital) / Pokemon
Species Pokemon
Size 900 x 675
File Size 73.1 kB
Report this content
More from pichu90
This is a rant that's quite a doozy for me to write, not only because its longer than I'm used to writing but the topic itself. Keeping this a submission instead of a journal~
When I started drawing in 2007, I drew for fun and just wanted to get better as I practiced drawing things, making my own characters and gifts for my friends. I enjoyed doing this at first since it was in small numbers but I also suffered from that desire of wanting more friends, more page views. More of EVERYTHING.
Unfortunately with more I had to set boundaries with regards to such requests because I could not keep up with everyone including my friends anymore. I made rules that I felt I could keep, rules with regards to art (requests and sometimes trades) as well as RPs and gifts. For the most part I've tried to set limits on what I could do outside drawing for personal reasons, yet I failed at times in keeping my word for the sake of people pleasing. Saying no for me was difficult for fear of upsetting others, and I think both my relationships have suffered as well as my art. Heck, it probably is a factor in my temporary hiatus from 2016-2018. I was in a lurking state at the time, but I really wanted to come back. Thing was, art was losing the fun aspect at the time and needed to take a long break to sort myself out.
Ever since my return, I'm seeing this pattern of pleasing people come back, but this time I'm putting a STOP to it and I'll be saying NO more often to things than I have in the past. I have to have confidence in doing so, and maybe it will hurt some people but I do not want anyone to feel like I'm targeting them. This is NOT aimed at anyone in particular, however there are folks that I've said yes too many times in the past for the same reasons of trying to be a good friend. I know that friendship isn't based on favors, but through support and being there, however my lingering bad habits have stuck since as far as I can remember. My parents were also people pleasers, sending money and gifts all the time to people who didn't necessarily
care in return. I can't afford to be the same. I know it sounds like I'm being selfish, but it's not and I think having a strong stance is necessary if I want to be happy drawing and making things. I tend to overpromise things a lot too and it feels sick to my stomach when I don't complete or delay too long with them. Maybe it's a relatable problem for some of you too. I like being someone of their word, that can be counted on and without the anxiety of trying to make others happy when the REAL way is to make yourself happy first. Not everyone will necessarily enjoy the fact you're putting yourself first but any good friend will respect this.
Another factor in me laying these rules is the number of sites I must manage now. Thankfully I have Postybirb for part of the job but I still find myself doing things differently per site. This wasn't helped by FurAffinity at all but again, my return to some sites is having the effect of attracting more of everything so I must learn to control my time better. For that reason - if I ignore you for a while or say no to something PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY!! I just can't afford to be as loose about my rules as in the past, but I am doing this for the sake of being a better artist, friend or whoever you take me to be. I'm finally taking control of my time and I won't make any exceptions anymore. I'll be candid and direct, but am doing this out of respect for both of us. Realize this is a problem I MYSELF must fix and I have to manage myself better and learn not to be a YES chu anymore.
Thus, going forward...
I will still draw gifts from time to time but they will be in moderation, and I'm afraid even sketches will be in moderation since I'm coming up with ideas every day. I still love hearing and writing ideas, but cannot ensure completing them since I only have so much time. Do NOT insist on me completing them please! Commission me if you REALLY want an idea to come to life. That's why I have them open most of the time. I haven't had a lot of call for requests but it still worthy to mention for the 10% that don't tend to follow the rules of anything. Trades are a touchy thing for me, I want them to be fair and I prefer not to do them since I've had problems in the past not getting them at all, or after a long period of time. I'm thinking gifts are better for friends and abolish the idea of trades altogether. So please do NOT ask for trade either at this time.
RPs are another matter. I just cannot accept them, especially if I don't know you very well and it pains me to say this even if you're a good friend I will have to cut them short. Generally depends on my time, but I cannot have RPs that last more than a few lines. Shame on me for not having a more fair policy but it's for a good reason.
TL;DR I am restricting gifts and RPs and I will be saying NO more than I'm used to when it comes to these things.
If you're worried that what I'm saying above applies to you, please note me or DM me if you're in my Discord network to discuss things.
When I started drawing in 2007, I drew for fun and just wanted to get better as I practiced drawing things, making my own characters and gifts for my friends. I enjoyed doing this at first since it was in small numbers but I also suffered from that desire of wanting more friends, more page views. More of EVERYTHING.
Unfortunately with more I had to set boundaries with regards to such requests because I could not keep up with everyone including my friends anymore. I made rules that I felt I could keep, rules with regards to art (requests and sometimes trades) as well as RPs and gifts. For the most part I've tried to set limits on what I could do outside drawing for personal reasons, yet I failed at times in keeping my word for the sake of people pleasing. Saying no for me was difficult for fear of upsetting others, and I think both my relationships have suffered as well as my art. Heck, it probably is a factor in my temporary hiatus from 2016-2018. I was in a lurking state at the time, but I really wanted to come back. Thing was, art was losing the fun aspect at the time and needed to take a long break to sort myself out.
Ever since my return, I'm seeing this pattern of pleasing people come back, but this time I'm putting a STOP to it and I'll be saying NO more often to things than I have in the past. I have to have confidence in doing so, and maybe it will hurt some people but I do not want anyone to feel like I'm targeting them. This is NOT aimed at anyone in particular, however there are folks that I've said yes too many times in the past for the same reasons of trying to be a good friend. I know that friendship isn't based on favors, but through support and being there, however my lingering bad habits have stuck since as far as I can remember. My parents were also people pleasers, sending money and gifts all the time to people who didn't necessarily
care in return. I can't afford to be the same. I know it sounds like I'm being selfish, but it's not and I think having a strong stance is necessary if I want to be happy drawing and making things. I tend to overpromise things a lot too and it feels sick to my stomach when I don't complete or delay too long with them. Maybe it's a relatable problem for some of you too. I like being someone of their word, that can be counted on and without the anxiety of trying to make others happy when the REAL way is to make yourself happy first. Not everyone will necessarily enjoy the fact you're putting yourself first but any good friend will respect this.
Another factor in me laying these rules is the number of sites I must manage now. Thankfully I have Postybirb for part of the job but I still find myself doing things differently per site. This wasn't helped by FurAffinity at all but again, my return to some sites is having the effect of attracting more of everything so I must learn to control my time better. For that reason - if I ignore you for a while or say no to something PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY!! I just can't afford to be as loose about my rules as in the past, but I am doing this for the sake of being a better artist, friend or whoever you take me to be. I'm finally taking control of my time and I won't make any exceptions anymore. I'll be candid and direct, but am doing this out of respect for both of us. Realize this is a problem I MYSELF must fix and I have to manage myself better and learn not to be a YES chu anymore.
Thus, going forward...
I will still draw gifts from time to time but they will be in moderation, and I'm afraid even sketches will be in moderation since I'm coming up with ideas every day. I still love hearing and writing ideas, but cannot ensure completing them since I only have so much time. Do NOT insist on me completing them please! Commission me if you REALLY want an idea to come to life. That's why I have them open most of the time. I haven't had a lot of call for requests but it still worthy to mention for the 10% that don't tend to follow the rules of anything. Trades are a touchy thing for me, I want them to be fair and I prefer not to do them since I've had problems in the past not getting them at all, or after a long period of time. I'm thinking gifts are better for friends and abolish the idea of trades altogether. So please do NOT ask for trade either at this time.
RPs are another matter. I just cannot accept them, especially if I don't know you very well and it pains me to say this even if you're a good friend I will have to cut them short. Generally depends on my time, but I cannot have RPs that last more than a few lines. Shame on me for not having a more fair policy but it's for a good reason.
TL;DR I am restricting gifts and RPs and I will be saying NO more than I'm used to when it comes to these things.
If you're worried that what I'm saying above applies to you, please note me or DM me if you're in my Discord network to discuss things.
Category Artwork (Digital) / Pokemon
Species Pokemon
Size 900 x 675px
File Size 73.1 kB
I don't think you're being selfish at all. It's good to set boundaries! Saying no is a big part of that, and besides, if they get so upset about it, they probably aren't really your friends.
I look forward to seeing how things turn out for you in the future, Pichu Pal~ :3
I look forward to seeing how things turn out for you in the future, Pichu Pal~ :3
Honestly i'm proud of this decition you're making! First is being better with yourself! then you can focus to be better with whoever else is around you! It's not selfish! but a sign of selfcare! There's nothing wrong with that! I will still be around if you need me! but i will also respect your space! UwU
It's good to set boundaries in your life. After all, saying 'Yes' to everything won't really allow you have a choice in what you wish to do in life, so its definitely not bad to say 'No' once in a while. I also have my own boundaries in a way.
When it comes to making people happy, I can agree that you should focus on making yourself happy first. After all, if you don't focus on yourself, then you won't really be able to be happy with yourself. Self-Care is a most important aspect in life.
All in all, this is a good journal, its very nice.
I've seen your art in the past and its pretty nice.
When it comes to making people happy, I can agree that you should focus on making yourself happy first. After all, if you don't focus on yourself, then you won't really be able to be happy with yourself. Self-Care is a most important aspect in life.
All in all, this is a good journal, its very nice.
I've seen your art in the past and its pretty nice.
Comments