Age anxiety and fish trouble - Chapter 7

Friday

I am woken up by my mobile signal and get up. The vertical lines are still on my neck and I can't help but growl at them.

I'm thinking about what sweater to wear today, but in the end I'm stuck with the sweater with the mermaid. She looks a bit challenging and I feel like I'm getting a bit of an easy hard-on there in my pants. The sweater turns out to fit perfectly, but the lines on my neck are not hidden by it. I shrug and don't care.

I fry some bacon and eggs for breakfast. I put the can of cod and potatoes in my bag and go to work.

It feels a little chilly outside, but I walk quite fast so it's not a problem. Once at work, I continue to put up the pictures on boards. The manager comes in and says that she and some others are going to a conference in Växjö on Monday, so if I want I can take time off then.

I think for a while and then say that I would be happy to take Monday off. The manager nods and writes on a piece of paper that I am free on Monday.

- What have you done to that neck by the way?
- Ah, it's nothing. Just some brand.

The manager moves closer and studies the lines.

- Maybe should have a doctor check that.
- Will call on Monday and hear what they think.

The manager nods and walks away to his room. I sit and think for a while, but then I continue with my work.

I finish my work and go to the communal kitchen and heat my fish. While I wait, I check the daily newspaper. It will be beautiful weather all weekend and the beginning of next week. I feel it will be perfect.

Sune enters the kitchen and heats his food in the second microwave. He has hamburgers today. When my microwave beeps, I take out the plate and sit down at my favorite place. A kitchen sofa that is very comfortable to sit in. It reminds me of a kitchen sofa that my grandmother used to have.

Sune's microphone beeps and he chooses to sit next to me. I move a little so we don't have to sit close to each other.

- Huh. Do you eat fish?
- Yes, today I do anyway; I say

Sune looks at me wide-eyed and can't seem to believe his eyes and ears.

- But you hate fish. What happened?

I sigh and lie and say my doctor said I need to eat fish. Actually, that's actually true but that's not why I eat fish. However, I have no other sensible answer so it will have to be a lie.
Sune seems to be satisfied with the answer but then he stares at me again. More thoroughly this time.

- But what have you done to the neck there; he asks, pointing to the lines on my neck.

I shake my head and say I don't know.

- Doesn't look normal anyway. It kind of looks like gills, but it can't be.
- Yes Yes! I will ask the doctor to check on Monday; Am I being a little too hard on Sune.

Sune almost looks a little hurt because he mutters something and pulls away a bit. He sits there and alternately looks at me and alternately at his food.

-Sorry. I didn't mean to be mad; I finally say.

Sune nods but still looks a little hurt and I quickly get up and walk out of the kitchen. Sune is still sitting with his half-eaten food and seems to be thinking.

I go back to my room and sink into the chair. What is wrong with me today? I, as always, am just as nice and chatty with most people anyway. I don't understand how I could sneer at Sune like that and I almost get a little scared of myself.

Well, whatever it is, it will pass, I think and sigh deeply. There is not much work after the lunch, but I sit there mostly in my own thoughts.

I go home just after 14. My router has arrived and I pick it up at the local postal service and unpack it when I get home. It is quick to install and soon I have internet on my computer again.

After a while of aimlessly surfing, I googled the words "Merman Transformation". I find some children's books and novels but none of what I was able to read immediately resonated with me.

I feel very restless and I decide to go for a walk. I don't have any particular plans on where to go. I pass the old bell and start walking towards Vallgatan. After the tower, I continue down towards the road. The seagulls scream and the sea lapping so nicely.

I think a lot during the walk. Was it true what the fortune teller told me? Why does it look like I have gills on my neck? Why do I suddenly like fish when I used to hate them? Why was I so turned on by the mermaid on my shirt?

I don't immediately get an answer to my questions, but going through the questions like this makes me calmer.

My walk continues and soon I am at Stumholmen. The weather is beautiful and many people are on the beach by the water. I go down to the water's edge and feel the water. It's actually so hot that I could imagine jumping in, but I don't have swimming trunks with me, so that will have to be another time.

After I've been to Stumholmen, I decide to walk a bit by the road at the commercial harbor and the area there. When I approach there, I see several people standing and fishing. They seem to be having a good time. Part of the wharf is closed because it is in such bad shape but I go where you can go.

When I pass the teen school I go uptown again. I go up to Ronnebygatan and pass all the shops and everything. At the main square I turn down towards the library and soon I'm home again.

When I get home, I sit in the living room and read. At 8 p.m., I lazily watch "Prisoners At The Fort". When the program is over, I feel quite tired and go to bed.