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When Will a Joke Slide? a Thursday Prompt 365 challenge
*smiles...
Vix
Vix
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 111 x 120px
File Size 71.1 kB
My Uncle Vinnie goes to see the doctor for a checkup.
Doctor comes back after a while and says, "Vinnie, we did a scan. Did you know you broke your leg in two places?"
"Yeah, Doc," Vinnie says automatically. "I know and I'm never goin' to those places again!"
Doctor comes back after a while and says, "Vinnie, we did a scan. Did you know you broke your leg in two places?"
"Yeah, Doc," Vinnie says automatically. "I know and I'm never goin' to those places again!"
he had some great ones:
"I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport."
"On my wife's birthday, she tells me, "I want you to take me someplace I've never been before." I says, "How about the kitchen?"
A doctor says to a guy, "You want to improve your love life? Get some exercise. Run ten miles a day."
Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, "How's your love life?"
Guy says, "I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!"
Doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window." Patient's like, "What good will that do?"
Doctor says, "I'm mad at my neighbor!"
Why do Jewish men usually die before their wives?
They want to.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. :D
"I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport."
"On my wife's birthday, she tells me, "I want you to take me someplace I've never been before." I says, "How about the kitchen?"
A doctor says to a guy, "You want to improve your love life? Get some exercise. Run ten miles a day."
Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, "How's your love life?"
Guy says, "I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!"
Doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window." Patient's like, "What good will that do?"
Doctor says, "I'm mad at my neighbor!"
Why do Jewish men usually die before their wives?
They want to.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. :D
A Fox, a Dog, and a Cat walk into a bar.
The bartender spots them and says, "Three meat cocktails, one with berry sauce?"
The Dog and the Cat both look at the Fox before turning back to the bartender. The Dog says, "How did you know?"
The bartender said, "You've been coming in here for years."
A fox, a dog, and a cat walk into a bar.
Bartender looks at all of them, a little surprised, but watches them sit down at the bar and drink.
All too soon, the dog and cat start fighting and a lot of hissing and spitting and rolling around the floor goes on while the fox just sits there and sighs, shaking his head.
Bartender finally turns to the fox. "hey, you gonna do something about this?"
The fox nods and quickly pushes the dog and cat away from each other and they settle down.
About five minutes later, the dog and cat go at it again and argue and tumble to the floor and a lot of barking and hissing is heard.
The fox gets down to their level and drags both combatants away from each other and back to the bar to drink.
Bartender looks at the fox with some commiseration. "You must get pretty tired of that."
The fox sighs again. "Believe me, it's worse when we go golfing."
Bartender looks at all of them, a little surprised, but watches them sit down at the bar and drink.
All too soon, the dog and cat start fighting and a lot of hissing and spitting and rolling around the floor goes on while the fox just sits there and sighs, shaking his head.
Bartender finally turns to the fox. "hey, you gonna do something about this?"
The fox nods and quickly pushes the dog and cat away from each other and they settle down.
About five minutes later, the dog and cat go at it again and argue and tumble to the floor and a lot of barking and hissing is heard.
The fox gets down to their level and drags both combatants away from each other and back to the bar to drink.
Bartender looks at the fox with some commiseration. "You must get pretty tired of that."
The fox sighs again. "Believe me, it's worse when we go golfing."
Once upon a time at a baseball game, the batter in question fouled off three consecutive pitches into the same section of the stands.
The first one landed right into the tray of a peanut vendor, scattering his product all over himself and several fans nearby. "Aw, NUTS!" he shouted in frustration.
The next foul ball hit a fellow coming down the steps with two loaded hot dogs in his hands, which promptly flew out of said hands and onto the concrete, ruining them. "Dog-Gone It!" he shouted in pain and misery at the loss of his seventh-inning snack.
The third and final foul ball skied into the air and fell towards a number of fans stretching out to catch it. But instead, it caromed off their hands and landed down the shirt of a well-endowed young lady.
Crossing her arms and cradling the souvenir ball in her cleavage, she shouted to those around her, "I ain't sayin' it! I AIN'T SAYIN' IT!!"
So they said it for her, at the top of their lungs.
(What do you think they said?)
The first one landed right into the tray of a peanut vendor, scattering his product all over himself and several fans nearby. "Aw, NUTS!" he shouted in frustration.
The next foul ball hit a fellow coming down the steps with two loaded hot dogs in his hands, which promptly flew out of said hands and onto the concrete, ruining them. "Dog-Gone It!" he shouted in pain and misery at the loss of his seventh-inning snack.
The third and final foul ball skied into the air and fell towards a number of fans stretching out to catch it. But instead, it caromed off their hands and landed down the shirt of a well-endowed young lady.
Crossing her arms and cradling the souvenir ball in her cleavage, she shouted to those around her, "I ain't sayin' it! I AIN'T SAYIN' IT!!"
So they said it for her, at the top of their lungs.
(What do you think they said?)
I'm not funny enough to extend the list of jokes, so I'll just say I really like how you formatted this super-short story. The first bit uses a large portion of the word budget to set the scene and the mood. Then, once the atmosphere was established, you were able to fit so much into a few lines of dialogue. Really instructive stuff ^^
also i LOVE the idea of the shepherd's hook being a built-in fixture of clubs
also i LOVE the idea of the shepherd's hook being a built-in fixture of clubs
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