Very pulpy, heavy action, and bittersweet ending, definitely enjoyed this!

Thank you for reading it. =:)

Damn good work! Very moody and oddly heartwarming. Plus what a way to go out. As much as I'd prefer the peaceful option myself, saving someone as the finale might feel pretty good too.

Thank you very kindly.

now that was awesome... great ending!

Vix

Thank you as well, Vixxy!

you are most welcome...

Vix

Since this was written for a sort of workshop... What makes this tale work, I think (insofar as it does work) is, look at all the heavy-symbolic-imagery passing-of-life and death references there are stacked atop each other in the first, set-up part, all "singing together" in an orchestrated way. The last (lifelike) steam engine, the empty desk, the profound weather-change, the late night, the last streetcar, the weeping face in a receding window, the whiskey bottled the year he was born at last being drunk, "that's all she wrote", which works extra-well for an author-protagonist... All of this is the sort of background mood-setting stuff that (from what I've seen) most beginning writers don't generally even understand is present, much less is so vitally important. None of it does much to move the plot, so it goes unnoticed and unappreciated as merely "describing the scene". But this is absolutely where nearly all the emotive power derives from, and so is vital if you want the fewest possible words to punch way above their weight (which most of us absolutely do!) In my own estimation, the "action" part of this tale is actually quite weak-- I'm sort of ashamed of it, actually, looking back upon a few other scenes I flatter myself to think I've handled a bit more competently in the past. But because of the setup, hopefully, the reader is so hungry for a resolution to his emotional arousal that he or she really at that point isn't so fussy anymore.

I don't usually discuss this sort of stuff about my own work, in part because it can be taken as self-centered narcissistic arrogance and I don't mean that at all. This is a _workshop_ setting, and I'm trying to treat it as such. Also, because it's a workshop setting, I'll point that upon re-reading this story today (four days after writing it, I think) I'm pretty sure I could shave the length about 5% by giving it the edit it so desperately needs-- the work on this story is _far_ from done-- and that this trimming would make it a much smoother-reading and more powerful work. Maybe even 10%, if I really worked at it. But, probably, closer to 5%.

Now this is the sort of feedback on a story (from its author) that really helps. It's absolutely what I believe in and why the Thursday Prompt is so important - just writers talking trade with other writers.

Thanks so very much...

Vix

Wonderful story, and I think you captured the flavor perfectly!

man I was just perusing the old Mans Adventure and detective pulp magazines when i passed by vixxy's post about this piece. damn. I stand in the midst of greatness. i could see me opening up a pulp mans adventure mag and reading this. the words have got just enough "wear" to them that this can pass for a 1940s-50s shlock style anytime. :D You should be creating an anthology of short stories like this and resurrecting the good old days of pulp. :D

Thank you for your very kind words. =:)
I generally tend to write science fiction and fantasy, most but not all of it furry. But I like to play with other genres sometimes too, and to attempt new voices and styles (which often fail miserably, of course). All work and no play makes for a dull bunny.

I think what my idea behind "Island Girls" was all about, i wanted a webcomic that pays homage to the pulp magazines of the era, the "south seas" stories stuff. i mean, i really miss it... i used to want to write for all the great short story mags and pulp comics back then in the 70s. i think they died out because women just were too objectified for everyones liking and we were missing the feminine touch. i kinda wish we could role-reverse it a bit, and have some of the classic pulp from Europe that did feature a strong female lead that could take care of herself, TYVM. :D

I hope it goes well for you.

Excellent work. The scenes set the mood, and the plot was definitely a good example of pulp noir.

Stories like this just serve to remind me that we need more pulp noir in our lives. :)

Thank you most kindly!