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Kiara's adventures after being dragged to a medieval world and transformed into the only squirrel-cat-taur. A mostly cozy Fantasy slice-of-life adventure.
Start of the story: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/53913840/
Start of the story: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/53913840/
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Taur (Other)
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 12.1 kB
Listed in Folders
Interesting story. Not very dramatic, not very realistic, but still funny to read and pretty much relaxing. I like it.
But for example process of learning foreign language is slightly off. English is not my first language, in fact, it is third language i learnt. So i have some experience what we learn first just by practice without following lessons from school book.
Next small detail is atitude of now countess Kiara... somehow, i have feeling she is not responsible enough. I know, it is only fantasy, but i just expected deeper interrest in really important things in her new home. Life of several people will depend on her.
I know, i know, i should not analyze it too much, it is story in world, where works some kind of magic. Where totally unrealistic big squirrel jumping between trees. But still, i grown up on old stories which some were very dark and cruel (and many classic scifi stories). Many of that old stories works as warning for children before very bad people or destructive behaviour. So i like when every story have some deeper meaning even if it is only light fantasy.
...
Anyway - I don't want criticise too much. It's relaxing and I can't wait for the next chapter. ( i just read all 34 chapters)
Thanks.
But for example process of learning foreign language is slightly off. English is not my first language, in fact, it is third language i learnt. So i have some experience what we learn first just by practice without following lessons from school book.
Next small detail is atitude of now countess Kiara... somehow, i have feeling she is not responsible enough. I know, it is only fantasy, but i just expected deeper interrest in really important things in her new home. Life of several people will depend on her.
I know, i know, i should not analyze it too much, it is story in world, where works some kind of magic. Where totally unrealistic big squirrel jumping between trees. But still, i grown up on old stories which some were very dark and cruel (and many classic scifi stories). Many of that old stories works as warning for children before very bad people or destructive behaviour. So i like when every story have some deeper meaning even if it is only light fantasy.
...
Anyway - I don't want criticise too much. It's relaxing and I can't wait for the next chapter. ( i just read all 34 chapters)
Thanks.
Thank you.
I agree that several things are off, especially the languages. English is not my first either, and given my level of Japanese after living here for seven years with very few organised lessons, I wished for Kiara's progress ... Hence I invented mindspeak, to have at least some explanations. On the other hand, most fantasy writing does not care, everybody knows all languages after being torn to a different world.
And Kiara is indeed treating her new life still much like a vacation at this point, full agreement. She will grow a little.
If you stay till the end (it will be another 26 chapters) there will be some bad versus evil coming up. This story I wrote more as an exercise in English writing after I had not written anything for a long time and never in English. It was released first on RoyalRoad, three times a week and most of the time with zero chapter buffers. The FA version is a more polished version, especially the English and consistency. Of course, the story and worldbuilding per chapter varied greatly then and that still shines through.
Again thank you for your kind words, they made my day.
I agree that several things are off, especially the languages. English is not my first either, and given my level of Japanese after living here for seven years with very few organised lessons, I wished for Kiara's progress ... Hence I invented mindspeak, to have at least some explanations. On the other hand, most fantasy writing does not care, everybody knows all languages after being torn to a different world.
And Kiara is indeed treating her new life still much like a vacation at this point, full agreement. She will grow a little.
If you stay till the end (it will be another 26 chapters) there will be some bad versus evil coming up. This story I wrote more as an exercise in English writing after I had not written anything for a long time and never in English. It was released first on RoyalRoad, three times a week and most of the time with zero chapter buffers. The FA version is a more polished version, especially the English and consistency. Of course, the story and worldbuilding per chapter varied greatly then and that still shines through.
Again thank you for your kind words, they made my day.
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