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Summary: An anxious vixen is on her third date with a handsome tod. Despite her excitement, something is weighing on her. She seems to be counting something, but to what end? Will her date end in disaster or will good fortune manage to come her way?
Disclaimer: This story will feature adult content after chapter four. There's plenty of innocent flirting and excitement in these first parts, however, and I want as much feedback on that portion of the writing as I can get. Thank you for taking the time to read, and it is my hope that the romance stands on its own.
Five more minutes. Sniff... Keep it together. Not willing to take any further chances, Maya wraps both hands around the tip of her snout. She has had it with this rain of white annoyance. The light breeze constantly freeing more and more of the obnoxious, useless, cotton-like ejections. Maya is ready to be done, and back home, before things become irreparable with Feld. She looks foolish, enough so that-
"I'm so so sorry, Maya. I didn't know you had allergies. I would have picked a different place if I had considered that! Really!" -that she's seeing a new side to her date already. His usual confidence has been replaced by a stream of apologies. Her emotions swell at the thought of being the cause of this. If it was just the sneezing, she would be laughing it off. That's something she's dealt with all her life. But it's more than that, and now she's acting like a little kit.
"Ig's naht youhr faulght. Reallegh. I promithh..." Her words come out sounding funny, which would probably have made her laugh aloud if her mood was any better. Instead, a few tears form in the corners of her eyes. She really had been looking forward to spending more time with the silver stud, and the sweet smells of exercise were so alluring. It's not like she had considered this type of scenery, either.
"We'll be back at the start soon. Just hang in there, okay?" It's not as though his concern isn't appreciated, but the thoughts of what's on the horizon fill her head and she can't help but feel weakened by it. Unsure what more to do, he walks beside her through the narrow, woodsy section they are currently in.
Being at the edge of the park's network of paths, the trail is bowled dirt, laden with piles of accumulated seeds, random rocks, and... the occasional tree root. It's upon one of these protrusions that Maya, head filled with worry, stumbles. Balance already flimsy, she tumbles towards the ground. She shifts her weight to the side and attempts to catch her fall, but her hands are in an awkward place and instead of putting palm to dirt, she only manages to plant her forearm in the grassy edge.
This slows her fall, preventing any real injuries, but the grass is slick and her momentum causes her arm to come out from under her. Maya's head continues the rest of the way to the ground, cheek and snout landing square in one of the false snowbanks. Dread floods her with adrenaline. Without letting herself inhale, she pulls herself up on her knees and begins to frantically paw at her muzzle, swiping downward with both hands.
Then, the tingle comes. It radiates from the top of her muzzle down to the tip of her tail and back, sharp and strong. Both cheeks raise as her nose scrunches with the intensity. "Hah-aa, hahh-aa!!" Two moaning breaths, taking in air, and releasing in a quick and forceful sneeze. "Hehk-Chhooo~!" So strong and sudden that it lacked her usual feminine charm, a misty spray erupting from her tongue.
Was it enough? she wonders amidst her mental chaos. Her nose twitches sideways in response. Without even turning back, she jumps to her feet and bolts down the path. "Hh-heeehhh~" A shallow breath. She needs to get away. "Ehh-iiih..." She holds back the sensation with everything she can, running faster than she has all day. Her eyes water as they scan the path for any other route.
There, on the left, an animal trail. A small path that small critters have worn away with their foraging. A fallen log at the base of it distinguishes it from the usual twists and turns. "Dhhuh--... Don't faahlow me-eeei-...!" She manages to utter a warning to Feldspar, who she can hear chasing from down the path. Her sensitive nose wiggles aggressively, unable to shake this tickle. Ducking down under the low-hanging limbs, she weaves through the treeline and up the false trail.
A branch snags her jacket at her neck, inserting itself into the collar and pulling it away from her body. No time! She tucks her arms in and lets the tree pull it away. A gift for the undergrowth, she can worry about it later. "Haah haaah," she vocalizes, still trying to fight against it. Here comes number ten. Can't stop it now. She collapses to her knees, legs to one side and palms to the other. "Heh heh, hiiii~iiii--!!" A final crescendo of inhalations usher from her slender muzzle. Her eyes squint and moistness drips onto her cheeks. Her ears hear a crunch somewhere behind her, not too far away.
"IKK-tchiIIIIIIEW!"
Author's Notes: It looks like ten was the magic number. Sorry for the shorter entry today. The original break was a few paragraphs past this, but for the sake of curiosity, I've trimmed it here. So, I ask you dear readers, what do you envision will happen next? What mysterious happening did she feel the need to escape because of?
Whatever you come up with, embrace that creativity! Let it inspire you, as there's a writer within us all, even if the words never make it to paper.
PS: The adult content begins next chapter. For those who are not interested, thank you for reading along to this point. For those who are sticking around, there's still a lot more to be told.
Thumbnail Credit to ABlueDeer - Commissioned exclusively for Spring Snow. That's Maya![/i]
Search Tags: Straight romance romantic sensual fox foxes scifi sci-fi science fiction date dating flirt flirting affection cross crossfox forest exploration bike park jog jogging sneeze sneezing mystery curse anxiety
Disclaimer: This story will feature adult content after chapter four. There's plenty of innocent flirting and excitement in these first parts, however, and I want as much feedback on that portion of the writing as I can get. Thank you for taking the time to read, and it is my hope that the romance stands on its own.
|| >> First Chapter << || <<< Previous Chapter | Next Chapter >>> ||
Spring Snow
Chapter 4 - The Tenth Sneeze
Five more minutes. Sniff... Keep it together. Not willing to take any further chances, Maya wraps both hands around the tip of her snout. She has had it with this rain of white annoyance. The light breeze constantly freeing more and more of the obnoxious, useless, cotton-like ejections. Maya is ready to be done, and back home, before things become irreparable with Feld. She looks foolish, enough so that-
"I'm so so sorry, Maya. I didn't know you had allergies. I would have picked a different place if I had considered that! Really!" -that she's seeing a new side to her date already. His usual confidence has been replaced by a stream of apologies. Her emotions swell at the thought of being the cause of this. If it was just the sneezing, she would be laughing it off. That's something she's dealt with all her life. But it's more than that, and now she's acting like a little kit.
"Ig's naht youhr faulght. Reallegh. I promithh..." Her words come out sounding funny, which would probably have made her laugh aloud if her mood was any better. Instead, a few tears form in the corners of her eyes. She really had been looking forward to spending more time with the silver stud, and the sweet smells of exercise were so alluring. It's not like she had considered this type of scenery, either.
"We'll be back at the start soon. Just hang in there, okay?" It's not as though his concern isn't appreciated, but the thoughts of what's on the horizon fill her head and she can't help but feel weakened by it. Unsure what more to do, he walks beside her through the narrow, woodsy section they are currently in.
Being at the edge of the park's network of paths, the trail is bowled dirt, laden with piles of accumulated seeds, random rocks, and... the occasional tree root. It's upon one of these protrusions that Maya, head filled with worry, stumbles. Balance already flimsy, she tumbles towards the ground. She shifts her weight to the side and attempts to catch her fall, but her hands are in an awkward place and instead of putting palm to dirt, she only manages to plant her forearm in the grassy edge.
This slows her fall, preventing any real injuries, but the grass is slick and her momentum causes her arm to come out from under her. Maya's head continues the rest of the way to the ground, cheek and snout landing square in one of the false snowbanks. Dread floods her with adrenaline. Without letting herself inhale, she pulls herself up on her knees and begins to frantically paw at her muzzle, swiping downward with both hands.
Then, the tingle comes. It radiates from the top of her muzzle down to the tip of her tail and back, sharp and strong. Both cheeks raise as her nose scrunches with the intensity. "Hah-aa, hahh-aa!!" Two moaning breaths, taking in air, and releasing in a quick and forceful sneeze. "Hehk-Chhooo~!" So strong and sudden that it lacked her usual feminine charm, a misty spray erupting from her tongue.
Was it enough? she wonders amidst her mental chaos. Her nose twitches sideways in response. Without even turning back, she jumps to her feet and bolts down the path. "Hh-heeehhh~" A shallow breath. She needs to get away. "Ehh-iiih..." She holds back the sensation with everything she can, running faster than she has all day. Her eyes water as they scan the path for any other route.
There, on the left, an animal trail. A small path that small critters have worn away with their foraging. A fallen log at the base of it distinguishes it from the usual twists and turns. "Dhhuh--... Don't faahlow me-eeei-...!" She manages to utter a warning to Feldspar, who she can hear chasing from down the path. Her sensitive nose wiggles aggressively, unable to shake this tickle. Ducking down under the low-hanging limbs, she weaves through the treeline and up the false trail.
A branch snags her jacket at her neck, inserting itself into the collar and pulling it away from her body. No time! She tucks her arms in and lets the tree pull it away. A gift for the undergrowth, she can worry about it later. "Haah haaah," she vocalizes, still trying to fight against it. Here comes number ten. Can't stop it now. She collapses to her knees, legs to one side and palms to the other. "Heh heh, hiiii~iiii--!!" A final crescendo of inhalations usher from her slender muzzle. Her eyes squint and moistness drips onto her cheeks. Her ears hear a crunch somewhere behind her, not too far away.
"IKK-tchiIIIIIIEW!"
Author's Notes: It looks like ten was the magic number. Sorry for the shorter entry today. The original break was a few paragraphs past this, but for the sake of curiosity, I've trimmed it here. So, I ask you dear readers, what do you envision will happen next? What mysterious happening did she feel the need to escape because of?
Whatever you come up with, embrace that creativity! Let it inspire you, as there's a writer within us all, even if the words never make it to paper.
PS: The adult content begins next chapter. For those who are not interested, thank you for reading along to this point. For those who are sticking around, there's still a lot more to be told.
Thumbnail Credit to ABlueDeer - Commissioned exclusively for Spring Snow. That's Maya![/i]
|| >> First Chapter << || <<< Previous Chapter | Next Chapter >>> ||
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Search Tags: Straight romance romantic sensual fox foxes scifi sci-fi science fiction date dating flirt flirting affection cross crossfox forest exploration bike park jog jogging sneeze sneezing mystery curse anxiety
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Red Fox
Size 2277 x 1139px
File Size 1.87 MB
Listed in Folders
To me writing does not matter if there is a lot of words or a few words. This shorter part still made me smile =) The style of writing you have is as clear here with this short part as the style is in your previous longer parts of your story.
With fewer words, you managed to create a rise of urgency. There is a feeling of tension here that was hinted at before with your previous parts, but here it is more clear that there is something going on with Maya. She did her best. She tried to resist, to not give into the ticklish itchy sensation...but her nose is stubborn and would not back down. Her nose needed relief and with the spelling of this last 10th sneeze, it looks like a very powerful burst from that sneeze was felt with not just Maya's nose itself, but literally her entire body felt that sneeze sensation. Her knees, palms, and legs all shifted and moved because of one sneeze.
During her sneezes, the care that he has for her when he learned that this jogging was causing an allergic reaction is honestly sweet of him...but also too little too late on his part. The allergy is already influencing her.
With fewer words, you managed to create a rise of urgency. There is a feeling of tension here that was hinted at before with your previous parts, but here it is more clear that there is something going on with Maya. She did her best. She tried to resist, to not give into the ticklish itchy sensation...but her nose is stubborn and would not back down. Her nose needed relief and with the spelling of this last 10th sneeze, it looks like a very powerful burst from that sneeze was felt with not just Maya's nose itself, but literally her entire body felt that sneeze sensation. Her knees, palms, and legs all shifted and moved because of one sneeze.
During her sneezes, the care that he has for her when he learned that this jogging was causing an allergic reaction is honestly sweet of him...but also too little too late on his part. The allergy is already influencing her.
I actually feel a bit bad that I split this part the way I did. I wanted to include the pivotal moment alongside this, the division is a lot more emotional, but part of me had hoped to leave people with a moment of speculation. Sadly, I'm still rather new in my postings, so interaction has been... less than I would have liked. So with that said, thank you for taking the time to interact!
Her entire body felt the sneeze. Yes, I think that's a good way of putting it. It's definitely at the core of what I'm trying to communicate with all of this excessive descriptiveness. To feel things strongly can be a scary thing, since trying to let out the positive feelings can also let out the negative feelings. From there, we can try to curtail the negatives and embrace the positives, but the important part is to feel in the first place. That's a big part of my theming both here and with Sense-Feather.
Her entire body felt the sneeze. Yes, I think that's a good way of putting it. It's definitely at the core of what I'm trying to communicate with all of this excessive descriptiveness. To feel things strongly can be a scary thing, since trying to let out the positive feelings can also let out the negative feelings. From there, we can try to curtail the negatives and embrace the positives, but the important part is to feel in the first place. That's a big part of my theming both here and with Sense-Feather.
Your replies to my comments made me smile today. I know it takes energy and time to write replies. I am glad you appreciate my comments!
Honestly the way you write comments made me think back to the times I use to write stories. I still enjoy writing today but my writing has become rusty and choppy because of my thinking patterns recently. It has gotten more and more difficult for me to even write a simple idea for longer than a page in microsoft word XD
In all seriousness though, I like the way you think. Your writing style really does make me smile =) it is clear you care about the characters and you care about what your ideas are.
Honestly the way you write comments made me think back to the times I use to write stories. I still enjoy writing today but my writing has become rusty and choppy because of my thinking patterns recently. It has gotten more and more difficult for me to even write a simple idea for longer than a page in microsoft word XD
In all seriousness though, I like the way you think. Your writing style really does make me smile =) it is clear you care about the characters and you care about what your ideas are.
The black void bows with a flourish, tail cresting behind him.
Writing is no easy task. The muse can sometimes vanish for long periods of time. I have no small envy of creators that can pull from their deepest depths without the need of such things. Those who can create without the perfect mood. Alas, I am not one of those types.
I find myself thinking for hours and hours, roleplaying scenarios within my mind, taking little bites from the edges until something takes shape. It's similar for the main part of the writing itself. If I can't see a clear path from start to finish, even beginning the journey can feel too overwhelming.
So much has to come together to result in something I'm happy enough with, and that's part of why it's taken me so many years to attempt writing like this. I can say that I'm very glad I did, at least. I'm sure that you can find your muse again, even if it takes several years. Hold onto your best ideas, think about them when time permits, and when you see that clear path, it's one foot in front of the other. Right?
Writing is no easy task. The muse can sometimes vanish for long periods of time. I have no small envy of creators that can pull from their deepest depths without the need of such things. Those who can create without the perfect mood. Alas, I am not one of those types.
I find myself thinking for hours and hours, roleplaying scenarios within my mind, taking little bites from the edges until something takes shape. It's similar for the main part of the writing itself. If I can't see a clear path from start to finish, even beginning the journey can feel too overwhelming.
So much has to come together to result in something I'm happy enough with, and that's part of why it's taken me so many years to attempt writing like this. I can say that I'm very glad I did, at least. I'm sure that you can find your muse again, even if it takes several years. Hold onto your best ideas, think about them when time permits, and when you see that clear path, it's one foot in front of the other. Right?
Thank you so much for your encouragement =) I appreciate that a lot.
Writing stories takes a lot of mental energy. Just like how artwork can take literal hours and days to create, writing is the same with the time it takes to create a story. I understand what you said here =)
Interaction with comments is sadly rare, no matter if a writer is popular or brand new. Written stories have to 'battle' with artwork on any site. With the speed of the internet, most people want immediate fast paced stuff. Artwork fills that want easier than writing, but for people that take time to read a story can be just as important and fun as seeing artwork =)
Writing stories takes a lot of mental energy. Just like how artwork can take literal hours and days to create, writing is the same with the time it takes to create a story. I understand what you said here =)
Interaction with comments is sadly rare, no matter if a writer is popular or brand new. Written stories have to 'battle' with artwork on any site. With the speed of the internet, most people want immediate fast paced stuff. Artwork fills that want easier than writing, but for people that take time to read a story can be just as important and fun as seeing artwork =)
That's one of the bigger parts of why I had a two year delay in posting this story. Thumbnails are the only real leverage a writer has on this site, aside from spamming keywords. I wanted to find the right artist, so I saved up to have ABD tackle the project. Not only was I trying to bring a character to life, I wanted it to capture a scene of the story in the process. Thankfully he was quite easy to work with and the result is incredibly eye-catching.
I've had a number of favorites where my piece was quickly added to their collection among several dozen others. I'm unsure of what's going on in cases like these, whether they revisit their favorites in other moments or if they simply liked my thumbnail. So while I appreciate seeing the little numbers on the side go up, I cherish comments like this infinitely more.
I've had a number of favorites where my piece was quickly added to their collection among several dozen others. I'm unsure of what's going on in cases like these, whether they revisit their favorites in other moments or if they simply liked my thumbnail. So while I appreciate seeing the little numbers on the side go up, I cherish comments like this infinitely more.
I like the way you think. Clicking on fav button is quick and easy, and I also appreciate the favs my stuff gets on deviantart, but when someone writes a comment saying why they clicked the fav button, it helps me learn why people liked what I made.
I hope that you enjoy the goals you have with your writing, both smaller goals and larger goals, during this 2024 year =)
I hope that you enjoy the goals you have with your writing, both smaller goals and larger goals, during this 2024 year =)
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