(This is part 2 wololololololol =3, hope you guys like it, plz review, I like some constructive critisim.)
*Setting: School’s Cafeteria, Time: 12:30*
“That’s another thing I’ll be looking forward to.” James said, gabbing his plate of food.
“And what would that be?” Mike asked.
“I don’t have to eat this shit anymore.” He replied
“You know you love it.” Jordan responded.
“Only the jell-o.” He replied now laughing
“Your too funny you know that?” Mike replied to Jordan.
“I honestly do try.” He said with a large amount of sarcasm.
“Well lets go find the girls.” Mike said to the both of them.
“So Mike, is it true that you and Katilin finally hooked up?” James said in his casual, I don’t give a care way.
“Well I really wouldn’t say hooked up……” Mike said, beating around the bush.
“Oh, come on,” Jordan said “We all know that’s some BS.”
“Fine, when you guys left to class, we kinda……you know…..kissed.” Mike replied, obliviously embarrassed.
“Holy crap, when did you grow a pair?” James said, playfully.
“Haha, my pair has always been bigger than yours and you know that.” Mike replied, striking James dumbstruck, and began to laugh. They walked up to the girl’s table, and sat across from them.
They were still very deep into a conversation to not be disturbed. So the boys began to eat as much of their food before they were engaged in the talking too. While James and Jordan struck up some small conversation that didn’t involve Mike, he began to listen to the girls conversation, amidst the loudness of the Lunch room.
“…. And he kissed you just like that?” Jessica asked.
“SHHHH, not so loud, I don’t want him to know that I told you.” Katilin said.
“So are you two a couple now?” Michelle questioned.
“Yup, and I couldn’t be happier.” Katilin responded, making Mike blush.
“Hey Mike.” Jessica called.
“Yeah?” he yelled to them, instantly hiding his blush.
“Come sit over here.” Michelle yelled back.
Mike got up and walked over to the other table, sitting down the girls began to question him.
“So why’d ya do it?” Michelle asked.
“Do what?” Mike asked.
“You know what Im talking about.” She replied. Then it hit him, Katilin wasn’t at the table right then, the girls somehow coaxed her into going over to the guys table and talk to them.
“Well……umm……” He started to stammer and blush.
“Don’t worry, she’s told us all about it.” Jessica said “We just want to hear your side about it.”
“Well, like most of you knew…..umm well that is know…….me and katilin had a thing for each other.” He said red-faced “And I don’t know what happened, but we just sort of kissed.”
“Well yours is certainly not like hers, she said it was as if it was meant to be.” Jessica replied after taking a drink. Now Mike was blushing harder than he ever had before.
“You guys aren’t gonna tell anyone, are you?” Mike asked frantically.
“There’s not a single person here that didn’t know that you two had a thing for each other.” Michelle said, hoping to ease his mind. Mike sighed, and began to eat the rest of his food, for some reason he felt sick to his stomach, and finished eating.
“What’s wrong Mikey?” Jessica said, which she only called him when she knew he was worried.
“I don’t know, I just feel strange, like I have a whole forest of butterflies in my stomach.” He replied
“By god, our boy here is in love.” Michelle said giggling.
“What?” He said.
“I felt the same way with James, and Jessica with Jordan, its natural.” Michelle responded.
“Yup she’s right, it goes away after a few weeks.” Jessica said smiling. Mike sighed, and turned back to look at Katilin, then the bell rung and he walked over to her and they walked hand in hand to their next class.
*Setting: School’s Cafeteria, Time: 12:30*
“That’s another thing I’ll be looking forward to.” James said, gabbing his plate of food.
“And what would that be?” Mike asked.
“I don’t have to eat this shit anymore.” He replied
“You know you love it.” Jordan responded.
“Only the jell-o.” He replied now laughing
“Your too funny you know that?” Mike replied to Jordan.
“I honestly do try.” He said with a large amount of sarcasm.
“Well lets go find the girls.” Mike said to the both of them.
“So Mike, is it true that you and Katilin finally hooked up?” James said in his casual, I don’t give a care way.
“Well I really wouldn’t say hooked up……” Mike said, beating around the bush.
“Oh, come on,” Jordan said “We all know that’s some BS.”
“Fine, when you guys left to class, we kinda……you know…..kissed.” Mike replied, obliviously embarrassed.
“Holy crap, when did you grow a pair?” James said, playfully.
“Haha, my pair has always been bigger than yours and you know that.” Mike replied, striking James dumbstruck, and began to laugh. They walked up to the girl’s table, and sat across from them.
They were still very deep into a conversation to not be disturbed. So the boys began to eat as much of their food before they were engaged in the talking too. While James and Jordan struck up some small conversation that didn’t involve Mike, he began to listen to the girls conversation, amidst the loudness of the Lunch room.
“…. And he kissed you just like that?” Jessica asked.
“SHHHH, not so loud, I don’t want him to know that I told you.” Katilin said.
“So are you two a couple now?” Michelle questioned.
“Yup, and I couldn’t be happier.” Katilin responded, making Mike blush.
“Hey Mike.” Jessica called.
“Yeah?” he yelled to them, instantly hiding his blush.
“Come sit over here.” Michelle yelled back.
Mike got up and walked over to the other table, sitting down the girls began to question him.
“So why’d ya do it?” Michelle asked.
“Do what?” Mike asked.
“You know what Im talking about.” She replied. Then it hit him, Katilin wasn’t at the table right then, the girls somehow coaxed her into going over to the guys table and talk to them.
“Well……umm……” He started to stammer and blush.
“Don’t worry, she’s told us all about it.” Jessica said “We just want to hear your side about it.”
“Well, like most of you knew…..umm well that is know…….me and katilin had a thing for each other.” He said red-faced “And I don’t know what happened, but we just sort of kissed.”
“Well yours is certainly not like hers, she said it was as if it was meant to be.” Jessica replied after taking a drink. Now Mike was blushing harder than he ever had before.
“You guys aren’t gonna tell anyone, are you?” Mike asked frantically.
“There’s not a single person here that didn’t know that you two had a thing for each other.” Michelle said, hoping to ease his mind. Mike sighed, and began to eat the rest of his food, for some reason he felt sick to his stomach, and finished eating.
“What’s wrong Mikey?” Jessica said, which she only called him when she knew he was worried.
“I don’t know, I just feel strange, like I have a whole forest of butterflies in my stomach.” He replied
“By god, our boy here is in love.” Michelle said giggling.
“What?” He said.
“I felt the same way with James, and Jessica with Jordan, its natural.” Michelle responded.
“Yup she’s right, it goes away after a few weeks.” Jessica said smiling. Mike sighed, and turned back to look at Katilin, then the bell rung and he walked over to her and they walked hand in hand to their next class.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 24.5 kB
Well you have good voice and style, description of character and scene would help the world come to life more. You are very dialogue heavy and some descriptive balance is in order. Every chapter should fit towards the build of a story and the works rhetorical purpose . Chapter 2 being questionable in this process.
Best of luck with the rest, keep writing and improving.
Best of luck with the rest, keep writing and improving.
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