its a pretty good story line, but if i were you id try working on world building a bit more. i struggle a bit with world building too.

Far point. Its not intended to be a novel, its a short story, I wrote it with the impression that most of the readers are familiar with the fallout universe. I could have described Butte more such as its layout. and I suppose I could have taken the time to familarized the reader with the fallout universe and events. This was only intended to be a short story set in the Fallout Universe already is rich in lore and well established as its been around since the mid 1990's with many games and other forms of media. If you haven't played any of the games or watched others play them, I recommend it. Still thanks for the input. I'll definately keep that in mind if I write something in a world of my own design

I'm after redact part of my earlier comment. I did recently post I wouldn't call it a story but more of a description of Butte Montana in a post-apocalyptic Fallout video games setting. And I'm quite pleased with how it turned out. Now it's time little places within that universe will appear.