This dude's Starbucks order must take forever to fulfill.

Whahahahaha! Jodocus at Starbucks! I love it!

I can totally see something like this going down:

*bitching about having to wait in line when he's obviously the main character*
*bitching about other men standing in his personal space*
*bitching about women not wanting to be anywhere near him*
*bitching about how through his bitching the poor person behind the counter didn't read hin mind while bitching and the drink he's yet to order hasn't arrived yet*
*demanding to see the manager*
*bitching that the manager wasn't standing directly behind the employee therefore not getting there fast enough*
*demanding to speak with the owner*
*bitching about drink options being in Italian and not in "American" whatever that is*
*bitching about not having shitty drip coffee served black and tasting like a burnt tire being the only option*
*bitching about something racist only tangentially related*
*boasting that he only drinks the grossest of drip coffee because of his gender*
*sexist rant*
*boasting and oversharing about his "gender" to which nobody wanted to know about*
*rant starting with "do you know who I am?"*
*demanding shitty drip coffee that is served to him personally by supermodel*
*rejecting of shitty drip coffee drink, throwing at the wall/barrista because it wasn't made right*

Actual drink order he accepts is:
standard coffee
20 pumps of chocolate
18 pumps of malt
13 pumps of pumpkin,
26 pumps of mint
7 pumps of cherry
30 pumps of orange
8.5 pumps of strawberry
2 pumps of nutmeg
6 pumps of hazelnut
1 pump of milk
20 pumps of soy milk
21 pumps of non-fat soy milk
13 pumps of extra soy milk
23 pumps tofu extract
1 granola bar blended into hideous concoction
5 pumps of salted black licorice
9 pumps of honey
26 pumps of almond
18 pumps of sugar water
9 pumps of high fructose corn syrup
6 pumps of artificial sweetener
(1 courtesy milligram arsenic added by staff)
noxious drink is topped with foam, sugar, whipped cream, soy beans, granola, artificial sweetener, ground soy beans, tofu, cinnamon, extra sugar, and chocolate drizzle

noxious monstrosity is served with a complimentary cyanid- uh... "mint"... no make that two "mints" in case the first one doesn't work.

And sadly today the bathroom is out of order, so they give him his disgusting "alpha male" soy drink in a bucket from the alle- I mean- to-go "novelty cup" that just so happens to look like what they use to mop up the crap in the back alley with. They hope he never comes back.

Ew! He's a soy boy. All that soy is giving him mood swings... I'm going to stop. I have to face St. Peter one day.