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Bir(d)thday Reflection
It's my birthday today. And I've been reflecting a lot for the last couple of days.
I wanted to do a lot of different things to talk about my birthday but frankly I just didn't have time.
So I did this.
I don't have a fursona, but I also don't like drawing myself, so using a kingfisher as a way to represent my soul feels the easiest.
Anyway - from september 2022 to september 2023 was... quite frankly the WORST year of my life.
I went from being verbally assaulted by someone I saw as a very close friend over something extremely trivial which shattered my heart and created a bad anxiety trigger related to my memory.
Then I got accused of theft/copying/plagiarism time and time again by the same person, manipulated and gaslit into oblivion all the while dealing with an inflammation and injury in the entire left shoulder muscle area making me unable to draw, write and even play games.
And hey guess what - I also have adhd and do you know what adhd people struggle with? extremely low levels of dopamine. And not being able to do the stuff that gives me any dopamine sent me spiraling.
I have some amazing friends who did keep me going for as long as I did but eventually I cracked in july.
on the bright side after that I started getting help. The toxic person left me, blocked me and ghosted me from another theft accusation but after that things have been on a steady incline. I joined here, met some really nice people, got a lot of help and now also have an autism diagnosis.
I'm still healing, I'm not at my full self, my shoulder still struggles and I have to work slower than before. But I'm getting better, I have friends who wants the best for me and i want the best for them, they're patient and kind and caring and my drive and motivation to write and draw and create is blooming. I see the light of the tunnel and I'm headed in the right direction.
So... here's to a healing 2024.
If you read all of that - thank you! I hope anyone who may feel they're struggling too can use this and know it will get better with time. It's a HIKE and it's HARD WORK, but it does get better.
I wanted to do a lot of different things to talk about my birthday but frankly I just didn't have time.
So I did this.
I don't have a fursona, but I also don't like drawing myself, so using a kingfisher as a way to represent my soul feels the easiest.
Anyway - from september 2022 to september 2023 was... quite frankly the WORST year of my life.
I went from being verbally assaulted by someone I saw as a very close friend over something extremely trivial which shattered my heart and created a bad anxiety trigger related to my memory.
Then I got accused of theft/copying/plagiarism time and time again by the same person, manipulated and gaslit into oblivion all the while dealing with an inflammation and injury in the entire left shoulder muscle area making me unable to draw, write and even play games.
And hey guess what - I also have adhd and do you know what adhd people struggle with? extremely low levels of dopamine. And not being able to do the stuff that gives me any dopamine sent me spiraling.
I have some amazing friends who did keep me going for as long as I did but eventually I cracked in july.
on the bright side after that I started getting help. The toxic person left me, blocked me and ghosted me from another theft accusation but after that things have been on a steady incline. I joined here, met some really nice people, got a lot of help and now also have an autism diagnosis.
I'm still healing, I'm not at my full self, my shoulder still struggles and I have to work slower than before. But I'm getting better, I have friends who wants the best for me and i want the best for them, they're patient and kind and caring and my drive and motivation to write and draw and create is blooming. I see the light of the tunnel and I'm headed in the right direction.
So... here's to a healing 2024.
If you read all of that - thank you! I hope anyone who may feel they're struggling too can use this and know it will get better with time. It's a HIKE and it's HARD WORK, but it does get better.
Category Artwork (Digital) / Miscellaneous
Species Avian (Other)
Size 1000 x 694px
File Size 107.2 kB
Listed in Folders
Thank you so much! It's just so so nice to see that it could turn and I can finally see things going well after having walked around in such darkness for a long time - especially because the doubt and anxiety of my worth and why am I such a bad friend and person etc etc just ate me up. it's definitely a long process but at least I feel in a safe space finally
Happy birthday Birdy Kingfisher :3 (cute smol gif btw)
As a person who has confirmed Ads (the other variant not Adhs) and autism i can kinda feel with the situations you described there.
I had also a very Down phase a few years ago and its climbing and climbing since last year but hearing that other people manage to get out of dark pasts is always amazing to hear ^w^
I wish you a further more positive adventure into the future with constant progressive recovery on your Shoulder ^^
As a person who has confirmed Ads (the other variant not Adhs) and autism i can kinda feel with the situations you described there.
I had also a very Down phase a few years ago and its climbing and climbing since last year but hearing that other people manage to get out of dark pasts is always amazing to hear ^w^
I wish you a further more positive adventure into the future with constant progressive recovery on your Shoulder ^^
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