That is how I certainly felt at one point. I had this piece commissioned a few years ago from  chibi-marrow with how I was feeling with how things friendship wise were dying between me and an ex-mate of mine  calgor. I just didn't want to post this till now... after really and utterly having everything friendship wise dashed to pieces with him.

His character is a pirate captain feline, mine is a wandering minstrel wolf. That's the basic premise. The ship sailing away obviously I was not really enough to make him wish to stay. The musical piece,something from the heart, fluttering away in the wind...

I had already gotten over this a long while back as our relationship ended around 2005/6. Haven't been in any relationship since. The way I see it as our relationship ended was when he told me it would be 3/4yrs before we could be together... I thought I missed the tide, because someone else came into the picture that was closer here in the US. That didn't pan out either it was another long distance relationship but not as far away as England.... I wouldn't have even given the other person the time of day if there hadn't been a big thing about Calgor and it taking quite a few years for him to get here... I failed in some regards. I'm not perfect in any of this either. *sighs*

The rough time table he was giving me was about 3/4yrs... Truthfully it was the 3/4yrs is what really broke things down... and for what? TO pay off a stupid car that he probably wouldn't have been able to bring here to the US from England. It was the 3/4yrs to come here to the US is what really killed the relationship not really that someone else came into the picture. As what my friend  teiran said. That was him not really wanting to leave, but an easier way of letting me down, but basically putting a carrot in front of me to keep going for. Especially after breaking up... Had thought we would remain close friends wise afterwards... That obviously wasn't meant to be.

Yet another "carrot" that is to continue remain 'friends' as it were, but all I mainly got was silence on his end. Not the real actions or how one would treat a good friend. Yes both our lives have been busy, but not TOO busy to try to kindle the dwindling friendship that was falling apart as I felt it was, and that has come true... That I didn't want to come true.

I'm tired of chasing and never getting carrots... I plan on getting carrots in life! I deserve way better.

I thought out of all the other people that I'd been with relationship wise that friendship wise that we'd remain strong afterwards like he said he wanted (or thought he and I both wanted as I still wanted him in my life even if not in a relationship), that we were "Soul Mates". He said those words to me, but obviously to me our definitions of what those words mean are different... Either that or I was lied to... *shrugs*

All I've gotten since we broke up around 2006 has been lots of silence mostly, among other things, and then being pretty much shut out of his life. I tried my damned hardest to keep things and keep that bond, letting him into my life and such. Perhaps I tried too hard, or didn't try hard enough? Regardless to say.... It takes 2 to tango, and he didn't wish to continue with this.

I got an email basically saying "goodbye"... for now... but I know better than the whole "for now" crap... It pretty much means "never"... from him anyway... throughout the years dealing with him since 2006 all I've mostly gotten has been silence. So it isn't going to be much change from the status quo.

I know he's been busy and all... I've been busy with my own life, but I thought so much better of things with him... If you really want something you make the time for it... Sometimes friendships and relationships are like plants, they need nurturing... This one didn't get a lot of nurturing and it withered and died. Not for lack of me trying to nurture it, but enough times getting my hand slapped makes me stop eventually... I try fighting for those I care for and did keep up the good fight till I had no more fight left in me for this... I have eventually learned to stop caring so much... I can only do so much before I break. I have to protect and take care of myself and all here...

Wish things were better... It could have been great, but cest la vie... Onto bigger and better things eh?