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Inspired by Herbert G. Wells' novel "The Island of Doctor Moreau".
Yes, I'm a crazy science fiction fan and we will have more such ones.
Yes, I'm a crazy science fiction fan and we will have more such ones.
Category Poetry / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 106 x 120px
File Size 1.9 kB
Sorry but this is too flawed. THE famous doctor? This would make sense if the title would let you know it's Moreau. As it is, it leaves the reader wondering and unable to focus. Bad way to start. And then you imply it's Frankenstein with the second line, as he is the one known for "igniting life", only to abruptly switch gears... And speaking of switches, why go with genetics when part of the horror of Moreau's experiment is the slow painful surgeries? Then another abrupt change happens as the narration suddenly goes from third-person to first-person AND then it turns into a dialogue? It's not that it can't be done, it's just not done adequately here.
Also many of the rhymes are forced, some more than others, and about half of the words aren't melodic enough.
I'm not trying to be harsh, I just think it would be more insulting to pretend I didn't read your work or to not be honest about what I saw. I hope you understand.
Also many of the rhymes are forced, some more than others, and about half of the words aren't melodic enough.
I'm not trying to be harsh, I just think it would be more insulting to pretend I didn't read your work or to not be honest about what I saw. I hope you understand.
I see what you mean, and don't worry, I never cry about someone going harsh on my work! And it's not like I even disagree, that's why I put this work to D rate in first place. So I completely agree with the first paragraph.
As about the second one, I see rhymes forced, but I don't get what you mean about words being melodic. And in additional, I'm far from being a native speaker so I still learn something, that's why I publish them here in the first place.
And actually, if you don't mind, I'd love you to check and say your opinion about my 2 other works (if it's not too painful for you to read xP). I really want to know what you think about them: First one, and Second one.
As about the second one, I see rhymes forced, but I don't get what you mean about words being melodic. And in additional, I'm far from being a native speaker so I still learn something, that's why I publish them here in the first place.
And actually, if you don't mind, I'd love you to check and say your opinion about my 2 other works (if it's not too painful for you to read xP). I really want to know what you think about them: First one, and Second one.
Melodic = sounds good. Like a melody. Words that sound good or sound good together.
>I'm far from being a native speaker
Ah, that explains it. I know many ESLs with the same problem. It doesn't help that English pronunciation can be very arbitrary.
>I'd love you to check and say your opinion about my 2 other works (if it's not too painful for you to read xP)
I'm not really an expert, which is why I usually don't make comments (nor look for poetry, to be honest- I found yours by chance). But sure, I'll give it a try.
>I'm far from being a native speaker
Ah, that explains it. I know many ESLs with the same problem. It doesn't help that English pronunciation can be very arbitrary.
>I'd love you to check and say your opinion about my 2 other works (if it's not too painful for you to read xP)
I'm not really an expert, which is why I usually don't make comments (nor look for poetry, to be honest- I found yours by chance). But sure, I'll give it a try.
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