Amaiya as a name for my fursona was a portmanteau of "Maya" (My, at the time mostly repressed, preferred name) and "Anima" (A person's feminine spirit)

Amaiya was, from the beginning, meant to be a safe and honest expression of gender identity for me at a time when I was still too conditioned to feel unsafe to even internally think about who I really am.

And, when I finally started trying to face and process it, the partner who promised she'd be supportive of me no matter what instead immediately went to shaming and bullying me for it, quickly teaching me to hate myself for the truths about who I am.

During that time, still carrying too much internal stigma from the conservative Christian upbringing, and it being one of the larger things that brought forth physical and emotional abuse from the partner I had at the time, I didn't feel safe identifying as trans. I didn't feel safe saying it, I didn't feel safe thinking it. It was all "I might be trans, and I'm putting off letting myself evaluate it."

At times when discussing it with a more light-hearted perspective, I described it as "I identify as an egg," with egg being a term for trans people still in denial.

I needed safety, and support, to feel safe being myself. Something I only truly found in the last year.

I drew this piece back during that more denial fueled time, it's one of the earlier art pieces I'd drawn.

Amaiya, my actual self, was still trapped in an egg.

Considering that today is Easter. A day not only associated with eggs, but also with the religion that first taught me to hate and repress myself, it felt extra fitting to share this old piece from when I started learning to express myself via art.

I am no longer an egg, and I no longer hate myself for who I am.

Character: Amaiya
Owner:  Amaiya
Artist:  Amaiya