God my life sucks some times. I had another dream of Her again. I swear they are getting worse every time. This time we were in a hotel, or a house, I'm not sure. But it had a hot tub inside, so I think it was hotel. We were in the hot tube in our room, making love, when there was some small disturbance. I think it was a knock on the door. I looked away from her for just a moment and she was gone...I remember so much of what happened before that moment. She dropped her clothes to the floor before getting into the water. I remember picking them up, a small spaghetti-strap top and pink and blue panties, and smelling them just to know her smell. I remember being with her up until the knock on the door, then she vanished. I searched for her everywhere, leaving the room. When I returned, the room was perfectly clean and all of her stuff was gone. I remember trying to find those clothes, just to find some part of her, but even those were gone.

I don't know why this is happening to me. Maybe it's because I'm surrounded by 90 women every day. Or because I see so many happy (or apparently happy) couples all around me. Maybe it's my drive to find a mate. I don't know. But it is the same woman every time.

Who knows, maybe it is even a premonition...

---

What have I done
To deserve this hell
You are the one
I know, I can tell

I can see you when I’m sleeping
But you’re not there when I awake
I know you when I’m dreaming
It’s more than I can take

Being with you is pure pleasure
Your love worth more than my life
You come and go at your leisure
It causes me such terrible strife

When I wake I can’t remember your name
And it makes me want to cry
It’s knowing what I’ve forgotten that causes such pain
I hurt so much I want to die

I don’t know when you’ll come
Or when you’ll disappear
But you are where my hopes stem from
And the source of my greatest fear

I just want you out of my dreams
And into my life
I’ll do it by any means
To make you my wife