"He's arrogant, sticks his arse up, comes and goes as he pleases, stands apart, just surveying everyone. Loves being stroked. Total tart. Loves you when he wants. I only get took out on a lead. I'm not allowed on the sofa. I run around with the pack, barking, tongue hanging out. He's all aloof up there watching, licking himself and plotting. That's us all right."